Saturday, August 19, 2006

Morning View - West 42nd Street

This shot was taken from the 14th floor outside deck of the AMC Theatre on 42nd Street, looking north. That green-roofed building is the current headquarters of the New York Times at 43rd & Broadway. In 1904, Longacre Square was renamed Times Square when the Times built their first home on 42nd Street, the building now topped by the giant cup of soup sign. The Times is building its 3rd brand new home right next to where this picture was taken, at 8th Avenue and 41st Street.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Fakes On A Train

I tried to get a photo of the young men from Ivory Coast who stand on the train platforms with open briefcases full of counterfeit watches, but when their sentry saw me aim my camera, he shouted, "Mbuala a'fahti!", which is Yaoure for "That fat guy has a camera!" and they all snapped their cases shut and began chatting about the Yankees. I only wanted the picture so I could make the above headline joke before all the funny is used up from the movie title. Sigh.

37 Seconds

37 seconds of looking out my office window, using a medium-rez digicam. I'll probably try this again with a better camera on a less overcast day.

MyNerves

I think I'm already beginning to get a little annoyed with the onslaught of "my". Thanks to News Corp, we've got MySpace, MyNetworkTV and New York's My9 tv channel. Sure, I've got a MySpace account (even though most of the time it won't let me log in), but this whole army of "My" (nerdy Bjork shout-out) is getting on MyNerves. Now excuse me while I check out MyGaydar.

Spitzer Plans Expanded Protections

New York gubernatorial candidate Eliot Spitzer plans to include same-sex couples in domestic violence legislation, according to his running mate, David Paterson. Spitzer has already pledged to legalize gay marriage if elected, although as Attorney General he was forced to argue against it in court cases. Spitzer is a shoo-in for the November election, drawing massive support from both major parties, as well as the endorsement of major gay organizations. Things look very promising for the Democrats to retake the governor's mansion in several key states.

Morning View - Halfway To Staten Island

I took this photo from the rear of the Staten Island Ferry. The most prominent building in the receding skyline is the tallest building in New Jersey, the new Goldman Sachs Building, which I rather like.

HomoQuotable - Johnny Is A Man

"The minute you begin blogging about how "ugly" other blogs are, you become a fucking nerd who never has sex." - Johnny, author of Johnny Is A Man and the mp3 blog Lost In The 80's, in an email exchange with me about blog critics.

Thursday, August 17, 2006

Just Like Tracy Turnblad

Last night I finally had the ultimate New York experience. Walking down 14th Street at 10pm, a ginormous rat darted out of an alley and ran right across my strappy-sandled foot. The girl walking towards me froze in horror, then yelled, "OHMAHGAWD! Do you want me to take you to the hospital?" I laughed and said, "For a tranquilizer?" She said, "No! For the amputation!"

No, really. I'm fine.

Open Thread Thursday

In the mid-80's, I spent 6 weeks as the emcee of a comedy club. What's the worst job you ever had?

Morning View - Washington Square Arch

The 77-foot tall arch in Washington Square Park was built in 1892 to commemorate the centennial of George Washington's inauguration. It was designed by Stanford White, one of the most revered of the Beaux Arts architects. Washington Square Park used to be a cemetery. "You son of a bitch! You moved the headstones, but you didn't move the bodies!"

Wednesday, August 16, 2006

Sirius OutQ: Thursday 10AM EST

Tomorrow morning I'll be back as Larry Flick's guest on Sirius OutQ In The Morning, the only national all-gay morning talk show. Stream the show, here. My bit's at 10am, 7am on the left coast. I love radio, I don't got to get my hair did.

Ricky Loved Madonna

Today is August 16th. It's Madonna's 48th birthday. That's not something of which I'd ordinarily make note.

Twenty years ago today, August 16th 1986, I was a few months into a new job with AMC Theatres, a job that I would hold for seven years, after having spent a few years after college drifting around bartending, waitering, and DJ'ing. After burning through 3 DJ gigs in about a year, I took the management position with AMC almost in desperation, happy to finally have a regular paycheck. I bought my first brand new car. I had several dozen underlings. I had a business card. I felt like a grown-up, almost.

Twenty years ago today, it was a Saturday. As the assistant manager, I had to be at the theatre at 10am, even though I had closed the midnight shows the night before, not getting home until almost 4am. I stumbled through the still-unfamiliar opening procedures. My mind was on Ricky. I took the cash drawers out to the concession stand and the box office and turned on the air conditioners and lights in all the auditoriums. The first movie, a Disney cartoon, started at 11:30am and we had hundreds of people in front of the box office before I even rolled up the mall gates.

Twenty years ago today, the night before was a Friday. It was the opening night of the remake of The Fly, starring Jeff Goldblum. My six-plex was jamming. The Fly sold out at every show, driving the overflow audiences into Top Gun and Aliens, which were still doing decent business on their own. All six auditoriums sold out by 8pm, and I rushed to get that show's money counted before the first of the auditoriums began to let out and we had to start the process all over again. I pushed into the counting room inside the manager's office and dumped several thousand in $20's onto the countertop. The intercom buzzed.

"Mr. J., there's a man here to see you."

In the lobby was my friend Todd. "Joe, I'm on my way to see Ricky. Can you come? He's worse."

I looked out into the mall, where hundreds of teenagers milled around in front of closed storefronts. The Interstate Mall was on its last legs. All that was left was the theatre, a pinball arcade, an adult novelty shop, and the driver's license bureau, which was closed at that hour. The teenagers roamed the broad unswept avenue of the mall in swirling, shrieking packs, anxious for the late show to begin.

I shook my head. "Todd, I'm the only one here. I have the late show and then the midnights. The last movie doesn't let out until almost 3am. I have to lock up." Todd nodded and made a move like he was going to hug me, then realized that a dozen of my employees were watching. Awkwardly, he stuck out his hand, as if that's what he'd intended all along. I shook it and he left. I had never shaken Todd's hand before.

Twenty years ago today, one week earlier, Ricky went into the hospital. He'd had a seizure on the bathroom floor of his sister's condo. Todd and I went to the hospital the next day and found him lying unconscious in his bed, unattended, in a pool of feces. Todd staggered into the hallway and tried to control his retching while I looked for a nurse. At the nurses' station, the stout Jamaican woman behind the counter nodded curtly but didn't get out of her chair when I asked that Ricky receive some attention. I went back to find Todd sitting out in the lounge, smoking.

"Joe, I can't be here. I'm freaking out. Do you know we walked right in there without a mask on?"

"I think the mask is more for him than us....so if..."

"I have to go."

We stopped at the Burger King a few blocks away and washed our hands. Even though we hadn't touched Ricky or anything but the door of his hospital room, we scrubbed the front and backs of our hands like we'd seen surgeons do on television.

Twenty years ago today, two weeks earlier, Todd and I had dropped in at Ricky's sister's condo. Ricky had been forced to move in with her. He'd lost his job at the giant hotel near Disney, where he'd been training to be a pastry chef. For a long time, he'd managed to keep his illness a secret, wearing long shirts even in the hot kitchen, so that nobody saw the lesions that were growing inexorably from his wrists to his elbows. A lesion appeared on the back of his hand and that one he covered with make-up, but when a lesion appeared right on the tip of his nose, the head chef and head of human resources had called him in on his day off to fire him. Surely he understood, they told him, that they couldn't have him handling food. There was no HIV test at the time, not that it would have done Ricky any good.

When Ricky's sister opened the door of her condo, she made a face. "He's not feeling well." She'd already made it clear to Todd on his previous visit that she did not like her brother's "friends". Todd said quickly, "Oh, well, we just wanted to drop off a present for him." I had Madonna's latest release, True Blue, on CD in a sparkly bag. We knew that he'd gotten the vinyl album earlier in the summer, but since he was such a big fan, we knew he'd like to have the CD version too.

His sister led us into the bedroom where we found Ricky watching television. He was cranky and inattentive to us, but momentarily brightened when we gave him the CD. He examined the cover. "It's the same as the album, just smaller." He didn't have a player, hardly anyone did yet, so he laid the longbox reverently on his nightstand, propped against the lamp. His sister hovered in the doorway smoking, anxious for our departure, and we soon obliged her.

Twenty years ago today, three months earlier, I met Ricky for the first time at a party thrown by Todd. I'd heard from Todd that Ricky was "sick", but he seemed fine to me. We stood outside on the patio and watched guys jumping into the pool.

Ricky said, "So what do you do, Joe?"

I said, "Well I just started working for AMC Theatres."

Ricky screamed a little bit. "Which ONE?"

I stepped back. "Interstate Six, why?"

"Because I am in there ALL the time. I saw At Close Range about five times just to hear Madonna's song in it!"

"She wasn't in the movie, was she?"

"No, but I'm just a freak for her." He paused, then added dramatically, "We have the same birthday!"

"Oh....really." I began to look around for Todd.

Ricky began to get very animated. "Yes. Same day, same year. I was born exactly at midnight and my mother always said I could have August 15 or August 16 for my birthday, it was my choice and for the longest time I had it on August 15 cuz that's Julia Child's birthday and she's a chef and I'm a chef and she was like my idol when I was little, such a fag, right? Anyway, when Madonna came out and I found out her birthday, I was all...that's IT. I'm August 16 from now on!"

Ricky continued professing his undying love for Madonna until I was finally able to make a graceful escape. Later, Todd told me that Ricky had dressed as Madonna for the previous Halloween and belonged to her mail-order fan club and we laughed a little bit at his adorably nutty fandom.

Twenty years ago today, August 16th 1986, was a Saturday. The theatre had brisk business for the morning show, selling out the Disney movie. After all the houses were rolling, I pulled the money from the box office and sat alone in the office to count it. I turned on the radio so I could hear Casey Kasem counting down the Top 40.

Todd called. "Well, the hospital just told me Ricky died around midnight last night."

"Oh, no. Did you get in to see him...before.....?"

"No, his sister and mother were there, so I just left without going in."

"Right." That's how it usually went back then.

Todd hung up and I sat there finishing up my money counting. I didn't know how to feel. I really couldn't call Ricky a friend. I had to count and recount the money several times, I kept losing my place. Then I heard Casey Kasem say, "Hitting number one is Madonna's Papa Don't Preach."

I called Todd back. "So, did they give you a time of death for Ricky?"

"Yeah, midnight."

"Right, but is that today or yesterday?"

"What?"

"Well, today is his birthday and it's Madonna's birthday and I just heard that she's number one today...and.....it would be, you know, sorta nice if it was today."

"What the fuck is nice about dying on your BIRTHDAY?"

We never talked about it again. I never did find out what day was listed for Ricky's death. As the years went on and Madonna's fame increased, the press began to note her birthday. And ever since that started, I think of Ricky on August 16th. I never knew Ricky's last name. He wasn't a close friend. But he has stuck with me over these two decades.

I know that writing these stories about dead people is rather maudlin. Melodramatic. In a way, a story about a stranger's death is always going to feel melodramatic, I suppose. I've written stories like this a half dozen times over the two years of this blog's existence, and I've got many more, more sad stories still untold. I think I get feeling scared that if I don't get the story out there, I'll forget it. Forget how it happened. Forget the person.

Twenty years ago today, Ricky, aged 28, died on his birthday. I will always hope that it was his August 16th birthday. Ricky loved Madonna.

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

1:1

This morning's thunderstorm reconfirmed one of the most durable and immutable laws of the universe, namely that the ratio of rainstorms to uses I get from an umbrella before I lose it, will always be 1:1.

Hersh On Sunday's CNN Late Edition


The Dugout Can't Handle The Truth.com

The Dugout, Sunday 7pm

Announcement: "Gentlemen, I'm So & So from TheTruth.com and we are here at the Dugout today looking for men with very hairy backs to cast in a national anti-smoking commerical. This is a paid casting and if you are cast you will also get residuals from future showings of the commercial. You must have a very hairy back and be willing to let us shave a letter in the hair, so that when we line you up, you all spell out "cigarettes"."

A few minutes later a young girl came through the crowd with a clipboard looking for applicants. Surprisingly, she seemed to find none. And for the first time in my life, I heard men tell a woman, "I'm sorry, but I don't have a hairy back."

Bet They Found The Gig On Craigslist

Casting Call: Eight athletic men needed for DVD promotion. You must be fit, dark, sullen and willing to wear a pleather Roman Centurion outfit (including helmet!) outside Grand Central Terminal (in the rain, during rush hour) while carrying a litter of Rome: The Complete First Season box sets, as hundreds of thousands of commuters mock you. If passing homosexual bloggers attempt to chronicle your pleathery hotness, LOOK AWAY.

Hersh Story Grows

Lots of attention is being paid to Pulitzer Prize winning journalist Seymour Hersh's claim in The New Yorker that the United States engineered the Israeli attack of Lebanon in order to ensure that Hezbollah forces would not be able to attack Israel once the U.S. bombing of Iran begins. Hersh has a track record of exposing U.S. misdeeds, going back to the My Lai massacre in Vietnam. In 2004, Hersh broke the Abu Ghraib prison scandal. In April of this year, Hersh claimed in New Yorker that the U.S. is planning on using bunker-busting nuclear bombs against Iran. In the new piece, Hersch cites anonymous sources and the U.S. State Department has denied his story. Read the latest New Yorker article. Here's the transcript of Hersh's appearance on CNN Late Edition on Sunday.

Reactions: Of course, the Freepers are going crazy, accusing Hersh of being a traitor for revealing the conspiracy or mentally ill for having dreamed it up. Israeli officials are denying like crazy in the Jerusalem Post, because they are NOT puppets of the U.S.

Morning View - Midtown East

I took this picture from the Empire State Building back in the early spring.

Monday, August 14, 2006

Hat Trick!

George Bush on the Lebanon ceasefire: "We can only imagine how much more dangerous this conflict would be if Iran had the nuclear weapon it seeks."

Hey kids, why fail at two simultaneous wars when you can fail at THREE? Buy two disasters, get one free! Every third body bag is on the house! Hey, got any spare teenage males just lounging around the house goofing off with Playstation? GWB knows just where to send 'em!

I can see why this coming war with Iran is so irresistable. Iran meets all four criteria for American aggression. 1. They have oil. 2. They want nukes. 3. They hate Israel. 4. They have oil. It's a fucking perfect match!

Dead Man's Chest

I love Johnny Depp, I really do. Edward Scissorhands? Brilliant. But I'm just having trouble wrapping my head around the phenomenal success that Pirates Of The Caribbean 2: Dead Man's Chest is having. To date, the film has grossed $855 million worldwide, and the thing is still going strong. Next week it will pass Finding Nemo to become the highest grossing Disney movie in history. By the end of summer, we could be talking Titanic territory. I've seen the trailer, I've read the reviews, I even watched a "making of" thing on Showtime. Dead Man's Chest is already the #12 top grossing movie of all time. I'm baffled.

Kitchenbeard Does The Pier

My buddy Stephen, the former NY'er also known as blogger Kitchenbeard, was in town this weekend to officiate at his brother's wedding, as Stephen is a bona-fide internet authorized minister. It appears that San Francisco is treating him well. That's Stephen on the right of the three men standing in the middle of the picture, on the Christopher Street Pier yesterday. Notice how I caught the Empire State Building in the far background, framed by those dreadful Richard Meier glass towers. I've heard that Stephen is an amazing chef, but in the years I've known him, he's yet to cook for me. Ahem.

Sharpie Snark Wars

From a poster in the 68th Street subway station under Hunter College:

"Last year 1 out of 12 high school students was assaulted by a fellow student."

A short graffiti war follows:

Snarky 1: That should be "were assaulted".

Snarky 2: No, "one....was" IS correct!

Snarky 3: Y'all is funny!

Snarky 4: Y'all ARE funny.

Snarky 5: Dumb bitches. It's "Y'all BE funny."

Winner: Snarky 5.
.

Next: The War On Lipliner

The Transportation Safety Authority has removed lipstick from the list of items banned from carry-on baggage. And the drag queens of America rest a little bit easier.

HomoQuotable - Christine Quinn

"I don’t believe there is any expectation of privacy as it relates to going to a club.” - openly gay New York City Council Speaker Christine Quinn, commenting on the privacy concerns of gay activists regarding her proposed rules that would require NYC nightclubs to videotape and electronically record the IDs of patrons. Christopher Dunn, of the New York Civil Liberties Union responds: "Many people might reasonably fear retaliation if a picture of them in a gay club were splashed across the Internet or the pages of their local paper. If the city intends to require videotaping, there must be strict privacy protections.” The new rules would only apply to the 250 NYC nightclubs that have a cabaret license, which allows for dancing. (via NY Times)

And there is it. The gay head of the NY City Council believes that attending a nightclub means surrendering your right to privacy. What's next? Personally, I couldn't give a flying fuck over the concerns of some closeted married jerk who wants to dance with the boys at Roxy. But this continuous erosion of personal liberties has got to stop somewhere. The question is, how far will we let this go?

Morning View - New York Water Taxi

Vasco snapped this for me yesterday from the Christopher Street Pier. The NYC Water Taxi makes stops all along the lower half of Manhattan and has special service from the South Street Seaport to Shea Stadium on game days. You can get a "hop-on/hop-off " pass for $15 on weekends, which allows two days of unlimited use.

Sunday, August 13, 2006

Kiki & Herb, Alive On Broadway

Friday, David and I attended the opening night of Kiki & Herb's Broadway debut in their new show, Alive On Broadway, at the Helen Hayes Theatre, where the septuagenarian duo served up their fantastically twisted takes on Gnarls Barkely, Dan Fogelberg, The Cure, Public Enemy, and many others. The storyline is familiar at times to longtime fans, but Kiki's (Justin Bond) meandering narrative was by turns hilarious and profound.

The absolute show-stopper was Kiki's heart-wrenching performance of Mark Eitzel's Patriot's Heart, which brought the room to tears. This show delivers the political Kiki and she eviscerates everybody from Bush/Cheney to the Pope. Kenny Mellman as Herb, her adorable gay "jewtard" accompanist, has an expanded role in Alive On Broadway, and he opened the show with a solo number before welcoming Kiki onstage to a standing ovation. Sure, lots of Broadway acts get standing O's at the end, but how many get them at the beginning? David and I left with our faces sore from smiling. The show has a limited run, ending September 10th. Get tickets here.