Dickipedia: Ted Nugent

(Tipped by JMG reader Claude)

Dickipedia Does Blagojevich

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Milorad “Rod” R. Blagojevich (born December 10, 1956) is a politician, currently clinging to one last toehold as chief executive of Illinois, and a dick. The subject of no fewer than a dozen separate federal investigations, Blagojevich is a disgrace to all Serbian-American governors everywhere —that means you, George Voinovich of Ohio. He is also just the kind of a-hole who threatens to screw the whole thing up for Barack Obama before he even takes office.

Rod Blagojevich was the first Democrat to be elected governor of Illinois in 30 years, a distinction he proceeded to totally crap all over by continually failing to pass legislation and budgets, making many political enemies (even in his own party), committing federal and state crimes, wearing a ridiculous side-part in some seriously bouffant hair, and, in October 2008, earning the title “America’s Least Popular Governor.” All that before he got arrested.

On December 9, 2008, adding dick insult to dick injury, Blagojevich was detained by the FBI and charged with conspiracy to commit fraud as well as solicitation of bribery for allegedly trying to sell president-elect Barack Obama’s vacated seat in the U.S. Senate. This happened the day before Blagojevich’s 52nd birthday. One imagines they canceled the stripper.

Their take on Madonna is pretty good too.

The Answer To Conservapedia

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Elisabeth Hasselbeck (née Filarski; born May 28, 1977) is a former reality show contestant—not even the winner, mind you, or even the runner-up—who somehow became co-host of one of the most popular daytime talk shows of all time, and a dick. Though not especially well informed, Hasselbeck is, nonetheless, an irritatingly vocal supporter of conservative viewpoints. Also, she bears a striking resemblance to one of those “It’s a Small World” animatronic robots they have at Disneyland, if those robots were programmed by Sean Hannity.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is a panelist on The View, the program that pioneered the format of four women jabbering over each other for an hour and a half, interspersed with commercials for Boniva and a special kind of yogurt that promises to regulate your bowels. In this capacity, Hasselbeck’s main duties involve baiting the other panelists to drop the F-bomb on national TV and attaining a level of shrillness that would make most testicles re-ascend. Of course, anyone with external genitalia really has no business watching The View, so it would serve them right.

Because she enjoys such incredible exposure, many liberals consider Elisabeth Hasselbeck one of the country’s most dangerous conservatives. They might be on to something. As it has been proven time and again, Americans love them a televised idiot. In late October 2008, Whoopi Goldberg revealed that Elisabeth Hasselbeck receives more death threats than any other View panelist. That must be an awful lot of death threats.

Rush Limbaugh's is pretty great too.