HomoQuotable - Mike Alvear

"Why do so many effeminate gay men prefer in their partners the very masculinity they've bleached out of themselves? The obvious answer is that they're attracted to their opposites. But that answer only goes so far. Effeminate men may lust for their masculine counterparts but most masculine men don't return the favor.

"Effeminate men get hoisted on their own chiffon petards. The more they take on effeminate characteristics the less able they are to attract the kinds of guys they want to sleep with. This is a mating absurdity. Imagine birds trying to attract mates with red and white plumage when the objects of their affection are attracted to yellow and green. The mis-matched mating call of the merry marys brings up a great question: If effeminacy is counter-productive to attracting the kind of sexual partners you want, then why not butch it up? Is it because like being gay, being effeminate isn't a choice?

"Nobody knows what fuels the gay flame -- nature or nurture. Some believe gay guys turn sissy because they're naturally nelly and some think it's because they're conforming to a culture that expects it. I've always maintained that effeminacy is like obesity. Sometimes it's glandular, but mostly it's cultural. There's an undeniable Pansy Vortex in gay life. You fall into it with baggy jeans and a t-shirt and climb out of it with spandex up the crack of your ass." - Mike Alvear, writing for the Huffington Post.

Read the entire essay.

RELATED: A lot of you took issue with Alvear's last essay quoted here.

HomoQuotable - Mike Alvear

"If I hear one more HIV+ man tell me he's "grateful" for the disease because it made him a more peaceful, loving, open, honest person I'm going to scream. Those afflicted by disease --whether it's cancer or HIV-- have taken a pernicious slide toward rationalizing their conditions as something "necessary" for them to achieve some kind of enlightenment. And we can lay that awful trend on the likes of Louise Hay, Deepak Chopra and that whole positive thinking guru crap that passes for spiritual insight.

"I don't want to be mean to my friends and acquaintances that have the burden of a terrible condition, but I just can't be silent anymore. I simply can't listen to anyone who tells me he's embraced the virus as a gift because it's made him a better person. Just last week an acquaintance said, 'HIV has given me a new life. I needed it to open my eyes to the joy of living. I'm emotionally stronger and I have a new sense of priorities.'

"What a crock of caca. HIV as the path to God? The virus as your friend? This is the kind of fertilizer the fields of Ireland long for. Here's what I say to all my HIV+ friends: Don't be grateful; be angry. Don't carry the burden of trying to make HIV your friend. Like all friends, it'll expect you to be loyal and introduce it to your other friends. [snip] While HIV is not your friend, it isn't your enemy either. It just *is.* Learning to deal with it is an admirable accomplishment, but please, don't tell us it's a gift. Or that your grateful." - Author Mike Alvear, writing for the Bilerico Project.