Patti Lupone Recreates Phone-Snatch

Lupone talked to the New York Times:

"This woman — a very pretty young woman — was sitting with her boyfriend or husband. We could see her text. She was so uninterested. She showed her husband what she was texting. We talked about it at intermission. When we went out for the second act I was very close to her, and she was still texting. I watched her and thought, “What am I going to do?” At the very end of that scene, we all exit. What I normally do is shake the hand of the people in the front row. I just walked over to her, shook her hand and took her phone. I walked offstage and handed it to the stage manager, who gave it to the house manager. I don’t know why they buy the ticket or come to the theater if they can’t let go of the phone. It’s controlling them. They can’t turn it off and can’t stop looking at it. They are truly inconsiderate, self-absorbed people who have no public manners whatsoever. I don’t know what to do anymore. I was hired as an actor, not a policeman of the audience. It’s getting worse. I’m hired to tell a story, and it takes a lot of effort and work to do that convincingly. It’s a handful of people who destroy that experience for everyone. It’s heartbreaking. Theater is not a social event."

Do Not Mess With Ms. Lupone

Broadway World reports:

According to Broadway World's astute message board posters, the trouble began at the show's matinee performance, which Auggie 27 described as 'Cell Phone Hell.' The post reads: "The SECOND ACT of the "Shows for Days" matinee today was besieged with cell phone ringing, first one long unanswered call that threatened to ring for the rest of the performance, and then two or more which resulted in someone leaping up and answering in the semi-opened door. At the same time, a hearing aid apparently went haywire, and buzzed into the ether for the remainder." Ms. LuPone kept her cool throughout the performance, but rightfully reached her limit during the evening performance when she noticed the texting attendee. Lincoln Center has confirmed to Broadway World that the incident did in fact occur.

Broadway World also notes that last week an audience member tried to charge his phone in a fake onstage electrical socket during a performance of Hand To God.

Broadway Friday

-New attitude! Patti Labelle will join the cast of the Tony-winning Fela! on September 14th and will perform there until the show's scheduled closing in January. She will replace Tony winner Lilias White in the role of Fela's mother.

-A Broadway version of Glee will definitely happen, according to the show's co-creator Ryan Murphy, who says he is already auditioning the cast. No opening date has been disclosed. Murphy is also slated to direct the movie version of Larry Kramer's The Normal Heart.

-Hairspray Tony winner Marisa Winokur will co-host the coming CBS talk show about motherhood with openly lesbian Rosanne star Sara Gilbert.

-Patti Lupone and Brian Stokes Mitchell will star in the musical version of Pedro Almodovar's Women On The Verge Of A Nervous Breakdown, which begins previews at the Belasco Theatre on October 2nd.

-Turn around bright eyes: Tony nominee Justin "Kiki" Bond will perform a series of dates at Joe's Pub beginning on September 12th. If you haven't seen Justin Bond, you are missing one of the truly unique theatrical experiences of our days.

-Spider-Man: Turn Off The Dark will finally begin previews on November 14th after almost a year of delays related to its record-breaking $50M production cost.

-Tony winner Beth Leavel (Drowsy Chaperone) and George Wendt (Cheers) have been cast in the musical version of Elf, set to open at the Hirshfeld on November 14th. Wendt will play Santa, the lead role of Buddy has not yet been cast.

Broadway Friday

-Sexy space stud Patrick Stewart returns to Broadway next season in David Mamet's A Life InThe Theater. Engage!

-Despite many rave reviews for Little Miss Sunshine's Abagail Breslin, the revival of The Miracle Worker closes on Sunday after only 38 performances.

-Musical Everyday Rapture will replace Lips Together, Teeth Apart which was torpedoed when lead Megan Mullally walked out. Opens April 29th. Fans are begging Megan to defend herself. Jeremy Pivens redux?

-Madonna spotted attending FELA! with four of her children: David, Mercy, Rocco, and Jesus. What? Gossipers dished Madge's outfit as inappropriate for her advancing years. Whatever.

-Bombtastic All About Me, starring Michael Feinstein and Dame Edna closes Sunday after only 20 shows. The house only grossed 23% of the max during the run.

-First quarter 2010 Broadway grosses: $238M. That's up 4.4% from last year.

-Dancer and actor unions are warring over whether the Sinatra jukebox tuner Come Fly Away is a musical or "an evening of dance." The dancer union says there's no narrative in the show, therefore they should administer the Equity contract.

-Rejected titles for Patti LuPone's memoir:

"Peaks & Valleys of The Doll"; "Patti LuPone: Not Just a Tap-Dancing Fascist"; "Curtains Up - Cell Phones Off!"; "The LuPone Trio Minus Two"; "'SHUT UP, IT'S BEEN TWENTY-NINE YEARS!' - Trials and Tribulations of a Tony Award Winning Actress"; "Shut Up, It's Been 29 Years! A Life in the Theatre"; "Born With A Trunk: Theatrical Musings By A Big-Nosed Diva"; "Don't Cry For Me, For Me, For Me, For Meee!"; and "Mein Kampf."

-DRAG ALERT: The producers of Looped are holding a Tallulah Bankhead impersonation contest. Send them your video clip.

VIDEO: The revival of La Cage Aux Folles opens April 6th.

Show Queen Alert!

The grand dame of Broadway, Patti Lupone, will make a "surprise" appearance at Splash tonight at 9pm. Lupone will be introduced by Michael Urie, who plays her son on Ugly Betty. Lupone is promoting her new CD, Patti LuPone at Les Mouches, which is a live cabaret act she did at gay disco Les Mouches in Chelsea in 1980, every Saturday at midnight after Evita. It's Musical Monday at Splash and the boys will totally plotz.