Stocking Stuffer

It's called the Silencing Slider:

Each Gorge Ohwell Silencing Slider is an artisan crafted censorship device that is ergonomically designed to comfortably plug even the loudest of burger holes. Made of soft and non-toxic natural food grade silicone rubber, the gag has no unpleasant plastic smells or odors. Give the Gift that Keeps on Gagging. Comfortable, ergonomic design. Local sourced and crafted.

Fifty bucks. (Tipped by JMG reader Ed)

Illinois Bishop On His Handcuffed & Gagged Priest: It Was Non-Sexual Self-Bondage Because He Was Alone

Remember the priest who called 911 for help getting out of his handcuffs and mouth gag?  Today that priest's boss, Diocese of Springfield Bishop Thomas Paprocki (left), is telling the press that that there was "no sexual component" to the incident because the priest had been alone at the time. Uh-huh. According to Paprocki, "self-bondage" was merely the priest's way of alleviating the stress of his job.

Here's an excerpt of Paprocki's statement:

The unfortunate result of such patterns of life—in no way limited to the experience of Catholic priests—is that persons often find themselves seeking patterns of ‘self-medication’ to soothe emotional turmoil. Alcoholism, the use of illicit drugs, compulsive gambling, sexual acting out and the use of pornography are some of the more common manifestations, none of which were present in this situation. Instead, according to the clinical therapist, Father Donovan is suffering from a psychological condition that manifests itself in self-bondage as a response to stress.* The clinical therapist also confirms that the strict absence of illicit sexual behaviors, relationships, and patterns reveal that this self-bondage is to be understood as non-sexual in nature.

Father Donovan appears to have been completely forthright with me in his account of this event, which is consistent with the public record. In the face of the embarrassment of these revelations, the subsequent attention of the press, and the widespread distribution of misinformation found on the Internet and elsewhere, he asks for the basic respect of accurate reporting of the event, the correction of untrue defamatory information arising from unsubstantiated rumors and claims, and the privacy now to heal from the trauma of this event and the original stress that precipitated it.

Paprocki goes on to post a definition of "non-sexual self-bondage." (Tipped by JMG reader Andrew)

RELATED: Earlier this month Paprocki appeared at the Illinois state house to testify against that state's proposed same-sex marriage bill.  The following Sunday he ordered all the parishes in his diocese to read an anti-gay letter during mass.  In September, Paprocki posted a YouTube video in which he warned that Satan "will take the souls" of any Catholic who votes for a Democrat.

CORRECTION: An earlier draft of this post misidentified Paprocki as being from Connecticut, home of last week's "cross-dressing meth priest" story. I'm getting all these kinky priest stories mixed up!

TRAILER: Kink

Also from James Franco and also debuting this weekend at Sundance. Via press release:

Director Christina Voros and producer James Franco pull back the curtain on the fetish empire of Kink.com, the Internet’s largest producer of BDSM content. In a particularly obscure corner of an industry that operates largely out of public view, Kink.com’s directors and models strive for authenticity. In an enterprise often known for exploitative practices, Kink.com upholds an ironclad set of values to foster an environment that is safe, sane, and consensual. They aim to demystify the BDSM lifestyle, and to serve as an example and an educational resource for the BDSM community. In kink, we discover not only a fascinating and often misunderstood subculture, but also, in a career far from the mainstream, a group of intelligent, charismatic, and driven people who really, truly love what they do.

Possibly not work-friendly.

You Should Have Said Green Balloons

Former Missouri GOP House Speaker Rod Jetton has been arrested for felony assault for the Nov.15th beating and choking of his girlfriend. According to Jetton, the beating was part of consensual rough sex.

The affidavit attached to the probable cause statement alleges Jetton went to the home of the victim Nov. 15, where he and the victim drank wine and watched a football game. The victim claims Jetton hit her on the face and choked her, leaving bruises that the police department photographed. The affidavit claims the assault occurred during the night and into the morning of Nov. 16. It says Jetton and the victim agreed on a "safe word" "to use as a stop word during intercourse." The safe word was allegedly "green balloons." The next day, Jetton allegedly told the victim: "You should have said green balloons."

Jetton left the Missouri House earlier this year and now runs a consulting firm that raises funds for conservatives in Missouri. Wonkette wonders how one says "green balloons" while being choked. Surely one of the rough boys that read this here website thingy can clue us in. ASL?

UPDATE: When Missouri updated its state law to comply with the Lawrence v. Texas ruling by the U.S. Supreme Court, which legalized homosexual sex, Jetton said, "Thanks to that deletion, it is now legal to engage in deviate sexual intercourse with someone of the same sex here in Missouri."

Bettie Page, 85

Bettie Page, 1950s bondage model and inspiration to goth kids everywhere, has died at 85.

Bettie Page, the 1950s secretary-turned-model whose controversial photographs in skimpy attire or none at all helped set the stage for the 1960s sexual revolution, died Thursday. She was 85. Page suffered a heart attack last week in Los Angeles and never regained consciousness, her agent Mark Roesler said. Before the heart attack, Page had been hospitalized for three weeks with pneumonia. "She captured the imagination of a generation of men and women with her free spirit and unabashed sensuality," Roesler said. "She is the embodiment of beauty."

Page, who was also known as Betty, attracted national attention with magazine photographs of her sensuous figure in bikinis and see-through lingerie that were quickly tacked up on walls in military barracks, garages and elsewhere, where they remained for years. Her photos included a centerfold in the January 1955 issue of then-fledgling Playboy magazine, as well as controversial sadomasochistic poses. The latter helped contribute to her mysterious disappearance from the public eye, which lasted decades and included years during which she battled mental illness and became a born-again Christian.

S&M Club Patron On Life Support

New York's tabloids are having a field day with this story:

A leather-loving submissive was clinging to life yesterday after a freak accident at a Midtown bondage club cut off oxygen to his brain, law-enforcement sources said. A dominatrix at The Nutcracker Suite on East 33rd Street called 911 at about 1:30 a.m. after finding the hooded man turning blue in a dungeon room as he hung by his arms. He was also wearing nipple clamps, a dog collar and women's high-heeled shoes, and his hands were cuffed behind his back, sources said.

The man was rushed to St. Vincent's Hospital, where he was put on a respirator, sources said. It was believed he had suffered brain damage due to lack of oxygen. In keeping with the secretive nature of the S&M scene, the man was carrying no identification and only signed the name "Roger" in the pain palace's guest registry. But sources said he was a regular at the club. Cops were using his MetroCard to try to track his movements and identify him.

His particular fetish was to have himself trussed up and left alone. The mistress he was working with, Taki Noriko, 30, of Williamsburg, told police that she elevated him just enough to cause discomfort but that his feet were still on the floor.

"It was an accident," Noriko told The Post. She said that she checked on him every 20 minutes. At first, he was fine, but when she went in a second time, she found that his foot had slipped out of the shoe and was turning blue. Police took Noriko, several other whip-toting mistresses and the club's manager in for questioning, but no charges were filed.

One woman was arrested on an outstanding and unrelated warrant. Cops removed several bags of evidence from the club, including one labeled "1 [one] black leather restraint." While S&M activities are not illegal, the state penal code seems to leave open the possibility that those involved could be charged with assault - or even manslaughter if the man were to die - if a grand jury were to rule they acted recklessly.

The club, which is tucked away in a suite in a nondescript Midtown office building near the Empire State Building, has operated for more than a decade and is a well-known masochist mecca among devotees of the bondage scene. The erotic emporium was once featured in a 15-minute documentary called "Paradise Bound," which screened at the Sundance Festival in 1996.

"It's a lot more common than you think. It's lawyers, doctors, athletes, everybody," co-owner Robert Fluty said in the film. Fluty could not be reached for comment, and messages left on the club's voice mail were not returned. On its Web site, the club lists candle-wax dripping, electrostimulation, bondage, role play and flogging among its services. Sessions cost $185 dollars an hour and are by appointment only. Rooms are thematic and feature floor-to-ceiling mirrors, bondage beds and trusses. One room, called The Inquisition Lair, features a leather-strap cage and a St. Andrew's Cross. Another called "The Clinic," is described as "the ultimate for medical role play."

Dan Savage notes: "It’s dangerous to leave a tied-up person alone—every kinkster knows that—and you would think that the staff of New York City’s legendary Nutcracker Suite, a world-famous domination studio, would know better than to leave a tied-up client alone. Perhaps you can leave someone alone—briefly, and so long as they’re within earshot—if your bondage partner is simply tied to a bed, or comfortably strapped to a bondage board, or locked in a cage. Your “victim” can feel isolated and helpless, if that’s what turns ‘em on, and you can be back in a flash if he or she starts to panic and call out or, you know, if there’s a sudden and unexpected earthquake or electrical fire. But it’s absolutely nuts to leave someone alone in suspension bondage."

I'm betting there will be no outcry from the health department to close this straight sex club.

Transmen Controversies

Transmen, female-to-male transexuals, continue to be barred from membership in Chicago's Hellfire BD/SM club, the largest of some 400 such clubs in the nation. Despite some internal dissent, including the resignation of the club's newletter editor, the membership recently voted to maintain their 10-year policy that "there must be a penal [sic] attachment." Hellfire is one of the few BD/SM clubs in country to have an active policy against FTMs.

Trans activists are questioning the legality of such a policy, citing Hellfire's open invitation to membership on their website and that the club is licensed by the city of Chicago, which has a gender identity ordinance. Transmen often do not have complete gender reassignment surgery, for a variety of reasons. Many leather transmen will be in Chicago this weekend for the International Mister Leather pageant, when Hellfire will be hosting several events of their own.

In a related story, Frameline, San Francisco's gay film festival, has yanked a screening of lesbian filmmaker Catherine Crouch's The Gendercator, after local trans activists complained that the film was transphobic. Crouch say her film is a "short satirical take on female body modification and gender," adding, "If this film is a flashpoint between lesbians and trans people, shouldn't it happen at Frameline? Shouldn't it happen in San Francisco?" Crouch, who describes her film as science fiction, says she is alarmed by the number of lesbians she sees transitioning into men and "how fast it is happening." Frameline has never removed a film from its schedule due to content in its 31-year history.

My take is that both Hellfire and Frameline are wrong. Transmen deserve the chance to be ignored at sex parties just like the rest of us. And while I haven't seen The Gendercator, censoring a film that seems to speak to a real sense of alarm among some lesbians only stifles the needed conversation as transmen continue to gain visibility.