Snooki Is Ready To Perform Gay Weddings

Jersey Shore star Snooki today told her seven million Twitter followers that she's ordained to perform weddings and looks forward to officiating for her hairdressers. In other news, Snooki has seven million Twitter followers.

Snooki Soda

What should the slogan be? Source.

Photo Of The Day - Snooki & Baby

Congratulations, it's a case! Source.

Headline Of The Day

"Pregnant, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life."

Christie Loses The Guido Vote

Christie isn't actually running for anything, but if he was, Snooki would SO not be voting for him.

The Snooki Ball

As part of MTV's New Year's Eve celebration in Times Square, the network will lower Jersey Shore cast member Snooki in a giant hamster ball. The ball will drop (violently, some would hope) from the seventh floor balcony of MTV's studios.

Tweet Of The Day - Sen. John McCain

Way to keep your eye on the ball, Sen. McCain!

McCain Tweets Snooki

Sen. John McCain tweeted Jersey Shore cast member Snooki this weekend. Because he's down with the Em Tee Vee generation!

In a preview for the second season of the almost Hallmark-like TV show, Snooki (who is coincidentally the same exact shade of orange as Ohio Rep. John Boehner) explained that she no longer uses tanning beds because "Obama put a 10% tax on tanning." Having just undergone a spray-on tan session she stirred up memories of 2008 by invoking the name of the president's past nemesis. "McCain would never put a 10% tax on tanning, because he's pale and he would probably want to be tan," she said. Like a cobra with a Twitter account, McCain attacked. "u r right, I would never tax your tanning bed! Pres Obama's tax/spend policy is quite The Situation. but I do rec wearing sunscreen!" McCain tweeted. Then, just like Sarah Palin of days gone by, she quickly stood by her man. "Haha Yes!!" she tweeted.

Of course, the real reason that Snooki is dissing tanning beds is that she's been hired to promote a spray-on tanning lotion.

Snooki Does The Weather

Gothamist reports that not only is Jersey Shore's Snooki getting $10,000 just to appear at nightclubs, last night she did the weather in NYC. Dig the cleavage tug. Tonight she judges the Fist Pumping competition at the Hard Rock Cafe in Orlando. SRSLY.