Bristol Palin: I'm Pregnant Again

Abstinence scold Bristol Palin is pregnant again.

Bristol Palin says she's pregnant for a second time. The daughter of 2008 Republican vice presidential nominee Sarah Palin announced the pregnancy on her blog Thursday. Her representative, David Martin, and Palin family lawyer John Tiemessen confirmed the blog post. The 24-year-old wrote that she knows this is a "huge disappointment" for her family, close friends and fans. She's asking people to respect her privacy, and that of her son Tripp, saying, "I do not want any lectures, and I do not want any sympathy.At the end of the day there's nothing I can't do with God by my side, and I know I am fully capable of handling anything that is put in front of me with dignity and grace."

She doesn't want any lectures? Oh, my sides.

Todd Starnes: Schools Fight Abstinence Programs To Protect The Profits They Earn From Giving Out Free Condoms

Brian Tashman writes at Right Wing Watch:

Starnes told host Tony Perkins, the president of the Family Research Council, that he suspected that school officials were worried that the student’s t-shirt would persuade so many students to become abstinent that they would lose out on the profits they apparently earn through distributing “free condoms.” Sadly, Starnes never bothered to explain exactly how students being convinced to remain abstinent would undermine the school's ability to profit from providing free condoms.

RELATED: After seeing about a dozen anti-Starnes tweets on a certain theme, I came across the meme that spawned those tweets. There's even a caption generator for the meme.

Abstinence & AIDS Jokes

Source.

Illinois Catholic Priest Calls 911: "Help! I Can't Get Out Of These Handcuffs!"

The 911 operator in Springfield, Illinois fielded an unusual emergency call from the local Catholic church in late November.  The story was published yesterday by the Illinois Times.

The pastor of St. Aloysius church on Springfield’s north end has been granted a leave of absence after he called 911 from the rectory and told a dispatcher that he needed help getting out of handcuffs. “I’m going to need help getting out before this becomes a medical emergency,” Father Tom Donovan told a dispatcher who sounds a bit incredulous during the Nov. 28 call. “You’re stuck in a pair of handcuffs?” the dispatcher asks. “(I was) playing with them and I need help getting out,” Donovan responds. Donovan told the dispatcher that he was alone in the rectory. It’s not clear exactly how he ended up in handcuffs or why he feared a medical emergency. His voice sounds garbled or muffled on the tape, and sources say that police discovered some sort of gag on the priest when they arrived. The diocese has been tight-lipped about the matter, saying only that Bishop Thomas Paprocki granted Donovan’s request for a leave of absence at some point before Christmas.

Bolding is mine. It took me a few extra minutes to write this post because I was laughing so hard at the 911 call. I am a horrible person.

(Tipped by JMG reader Michael)

Former Staffer Sued Family Research Council For Sexual Harassment

According to just-revealed court documents, the Family Research Council fired its abstinence program director after she filed a sexual harassment complaint with Washington DC's Human Rights Commission. DC Gadfly has the scoop:

Moira Gaul had a stellar career at the Family Research Council and amassed a perfect employment record until her run-in with her supervisor, a prominent figure in the anti-abortion movement.  She was hired in March 2005 as an abstinence coordinator and later promoted to Director of Women’s and Reproductive Health, where she focused on abstinence education but was also quoted widely in the media on the controversy over the HPV vaccination for young girls and abortion.

According to Gaul, the harassment started in February 2007. With the behavior ongoing, she finally filed a gender discrimination complaint--you can’t file for sexual harassment--with the District of Columbia Human Rights Commission in January 2009.  In that complaint Gaul says that the Family Research Council’s Director of the Center for Human Life and Bioethics “pressured me to attend parties” sent mails addressed “hi cutie” and “referred to the use of birth control pills by young women as ‘whoring around.’” In general, “his attitude towards me and other women was rude, belittling and at times angry.”

Gaul's sexual harassment claimed was dismissed in 2009 and now she is suing for their alleged retaliation by firing her. It's a complicated case and I recommend reading the linked item.

Headline Of The Day

No sex until marriage! One man, one woman, FOR LIFE! Details. (Tipped by JMG reader David)

Bristol Palin: We Built This, Mr. President

Several days ago Bristol Palin, who has built a mini-media empire based on being a failed abstinence advocate, failed dancer, and failed reality star, blogged this appeal:

President Obama recently said, “If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that. Somebody else made that happen.” Small business owners all over America took offense at this incorrect view that government (instead of elbow grease, intelligence, and good-old-fashioned risk taking) is the bedrock of our economy. Since the President doesn’t understand how our economy works, let’s take a moment to explain how small businesses are created… More importantly, let’s show him the businesses we’ve made and who has made them. Please send me your photos — either e-mail me (via BristolsBlog @ gmail.com, without the space!) or tweet me at this blog’s brand new Twitter account (@BristolsBlog) using the hashtag #IBuiltThis.

Photos poured in and moments ago Mama Grizzly proudly tweeted out the link to the below video, which has over 70K views since Friday.

FRC Claims Abstinence Success

They Will Wait And Wait And Wait

From the Family Research Council:

Almost unbelievably, there has been a bounty put out on Tim Tebow’s virginity. There is an organization that says they will pay $1 million to any woman that will come forward and prove that she has had sex with Tim. But there's a powerful and encouraging response happening. Check out this video, and join us in prayer that many will join the We Will Wait movement.

Pointedly, the FRC omits the inconvenient fact that Ashley Madison is actually offering the reward to anybody than can prove having had sex with Tebow. Not "any woman." Anybody. Hello.

Tennessee Approves Abstinence-Only Bill: "Gateway Sexual Activity" Leads To Evil

The Tennessee state legislature has approved a bill that restricts all sexual education to lessons on abstinence-only. Because any mention of "gateway sexual activity" will result in an explosion of teen-fucking.

The bill defines “gateway sexual activity” as: “sexual conduct encouraging an individual to engage in a non-abstinent behavior.” The bill’s sponsor, Republican Rep. Jim Gotto, said the bill wouldn’t address things as innocuous as holding hands, the Knoxville News Sentinel reports. But critics of the legislation say the offending behavior is not clearly defined. Gotto did not immediately return TPM’s request for comment. According to the News Sentinel, groups like Planned Parenthood and others who provide sex education information in schools could face a $500 fine.

Teen pregnancy rates have consistently been the highest in states that only allow abstinence education. Get ready for a flood of teen abortions and baby mamas, Tennessee. Gov. Bill Haslam is expected to sign the bill.

The Purity Bear, Part Two

After the first installment of The Purity Bear became one of the most widely mocked clips on the net, the Liberty Counsel issued a press release which blithely bragged about its "many many thousands of views!" Almost all of those views came from trolls and mockers, of course, but that hasn't stopped the Liberty Counsel from proudly barreling out with a sequel.

WISCONSIN: State Senate Passes Abstinence Education Bill

The GOP-dominated Wisconsin Senate has passed a bill ordering teachers to downplay any mention of contraception in sex education classes. Because the only thing you need to know is "God hates fucking."

The new GOP-backed legislation would not ban teachers from discussing contraceptives, but would demand they stress abstaining from sex the only reliable way to avoid sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies. "We are trying to back away from the bill passed last year that we feel mandated sex ed that was too nonjudgmental, too explicit and at too young an age," said Republican state Sen. Glenn Grothman. Democratic counterpart Sen. Jon Erpenbach said Wisconsin was "taking a step back to the Flintstone era" with the legislation.

Note that the GOP rep actually said that the previous bill wasn't judgemental enough.

Bristol: Levi Stole My Virginity

"Fireworks" On Bristol's Reality Show

Clip description:

Bristol Palin, Sarah Palin daughter, was enjoying her time at West Hollywood's Saddle Ranch restaurant with her friends and the film crew of her new reality show. Bristol got on the mechanical bull and rode it. But, as Bristol fell off the mechanical bull a man from the bar started shouting things to Bristol such as "Your mother is a whore," "Did you ride Levi like that," and "Your mother is a f***ing devil." Well Bristol was not happy and having any of that especially in front of her film crew and the paparazzi. Bristol quickly walked over and confronted the man and both began shouting and arguing. The Saddle Ranch management tried breaking it up but Bristol and the man kept going at it till the film crew took Bristol away!

Hmm. Kinda convenient, huh?

HomoQuotable - Dan Savage

"Religious conservatives loved the HPV virus because it killed women. Here was a potentially fatal STI that condoms couldn't protect you from. Abstinence educators pointed to HPV and jumped up and down—they loved to overstate HPV's seriousness and its deadliness—in their efforts to scare kids into saving themselves for marriage. And they fought the introduction of the HPV vaccine tooth-and-nail because vaccinating women against HPV would 'undermine' the abstinence message. Given a choice between your wife, daughter, sister, or mom dying of cervical cancer or no longer being to scream 'HPV IS GOING TO KILL YOU!' at classrooms full of terrified teenagers, socially conservative abstinence 'educators' preferred the former." - Dan Savage, writing for Slog.

New Reality Show For Bristol Palin

Snowbilly pass-out party bottom, teen mom, and abstinence advocate Bristol Palin has been handed yet another reality series. Bristol: "The next show that I’m going to be doing will be with Chris and Kyle Massey and we’re going to be doing a reality show and it’s charity-based and it’s going to be out of California." Mediaite notes:

The internet helpfully informs us that Kyle Massey is a Disney Channel star that you might recognize from such shows as Cory in the House and That’s So Raven. His older brother, Chris Massey, has acted on Nickelodeon’s Zoey 101, once home to another famous young mom, Jamie Lynn Spears. An attempt to appeal to a younger demographic, perhaps? Bristol shares that her son, Tripp, will also be featured on the new show and that the experience will teach him “to give back.” It’s due to air this November on Biography.

TRAILER: The Waiting Game

A Christian abstinence film with a cameo by Ted Haggard.

Bristol Palin Is Writing Her Memoirs

Teen mother, abstinence proponent, and reality show star Bristol Palin is writing her memoirs at the age of 20. Hey, if Justin Bieber can do it...

The memoir is set to come from William Morrow & Co., a subsidiary of HarperCollins, which published Sarah Palin's first book, "Going Rogue: An American Life" and her second book "America by Heart: Reflections on Family, Faith and Flag." What exactly will be in the memoir is unclear. The listing on Amazon offered few details and Bristol Palin had no comment on her Facebook page, which like her mother, is often used as a public sounding board. The 20-year-old has competed on "Dancing With the Stars" and also works as a spokesperson for The Candies' Foundation, speaking as an advocate for abstinence.

Let's hear your suggested titles for the book.

Christian Ladies (Put A Purity Ring On It)

VIRGINIA: Lynchburg Mayor Declares Valentine's Day To Be Day Of Not Fucking

The mayor of Lynchburg, Virginia has signed onto the Liberty Counsel's "Day Of Purity" pledge that unmarried residents will definitely NOT fuck on Valentine's Day.

At this week’s Lynchburg City Council meeting, Mayor Joan Foster announced the Day of Purity Proclamation. As the first city to sign in support of the Day of Purity, Lynchburg joins nearly a thousand schools and organizations across the nation that have supported the Day of Purity. Liberty Counsel is launching preparations now for the eighth annual nationwide campaign on February 14, 2011. This effort mobilizes youth across the nation to publicly celebrate sexual abstinence until marriage for emotional, mental, and physical reasons.

Somebody totally needs to throw a ginormous sex party in Lynchburg that day.
CORRECTION: Lynchburg, VIRGINIA, not Tennessee as I first posted!