Quote Of The Day - NOM Marcher Morton

"They’re not born with it, you know. If anybody opens the back door unnaturally from outside, you end up having open-door syndrome. You can’t close the door. Anal sex harms [gays]. It reduces their life by, on average, 25 years—anal or oral sex. Uh, it also has an impact—a strong impact [on women]. I’m not certain the exact statistics there.” - NOM hate march attendee Morton, in a Yahoo/Daily Beast story that is drawing outrage from Christian commenters. Also interviewed in the above-linked story is an attendee named Gwendolyn, who told the reporter that "she saw angels fly down into the Supreme Court. Gwendolyn wore an angel pin on her breast, which she explained was an actual angel and sent to her directly from God."

World Net Daily: President Obama Must Be Overthrown Because Ted Cruz

"The time has come to mass in Washington, D.C., on Nov. 19, and to engage in peaceful civil disobedience, Ghandi and Martin Luther King style, to finally force Obama to resign the presidency and leave office immediately – or else face the music for his recent conviction for election fraud and other crimes. This week, with the failure of Sen. Ted Cruz’s efforts to block funding for Obamacare in the Senate, and the expected cave-in by Speaker John Boehner, it is clear that we have no representative form of government. As in 1776, the people must now take action to rid the nation of this new, far more evil tyrant, who makes King George III look like a Boy Scout. Please join me in Washington, D.C., Nov. 19, and let’s demand an end to this president’s 'reign' before all is lost and our nation drowns in a sea of corruption and subversion of the freedoms our Founding Fathers fought and died for, which freedoms they bequeathed to us to protect and preserve for future generations. This is your duty if you are an American patriot!" - Larry Klayman, writing for World Net Daily.

RELATED: In the above-linked piece, Klayman adds: "A citizens’ grand jury, with yours truly as its people’s prosecutor, as you readers know, has not only indicted and convicted Obama for fraud over his lack of eligibility to be president, but also pending are indictments and more trials."

And Teabagistan Goes Insane

Two Bills, one selfie. Already having fun at #CGI2013 MT @BillGates A @billclinton selfie as we sat down to talk http://t.co/iK4Y7tGFIY
— Bill Clinton (@billclinton) September 24, 2013

According to Michelle Malkin's Twitchy site, the above tweet posted today by Bill Clinton is an obvious and filthy reference to the "scat-fetish porn flick 2 Girls, 1 Cup." Seriously! And they got lots of tweets from people who agree! Therefore it's totally true!

Cindy Jacobs: God Told Me He's Going To Punish America For Gay Marriage

The "Ex-Gays" Need A Theme Song!

From the new "ex-gay" group founded by Christopher Doyle and Moonie Richard "Tennis Racket" Cohen:

Create your own music video! Amateurs or professionals can enter. Video should be 3-5 min. in length. Winner selected based on original song content, appeal and professionalism. Winner debuts their music video LIVE at the First Ex-Gay Pride Month Celebration in Washington, DC. Deadline to submit video July 30. Entry Fee: $30.

Somebody should just set Cohen's hilariously tragic tennis racket therapy to music.

Sin Causes Misspellings

Virginia GOP lieutenant governor nominee E.W. Jackson believes that sin causes birth defects and that yoga is based in Satanism. What he apparently does not believe is that self-published books should have correctly spelled titles.

The Anti-Christ Loves Gay Marriage

He also loves a six day week.

Your Gay Brain Can Be Rewired

"The good news is, at least with the people that I’ve seen, not a lot of people, when the healing takes place those areas of the brain that were showing the homosexuality show heterosexuality. I have had several people who when I looked at them I couldn’t tell the difference between a heterosexual who never was homosexual and them, which means the brain is able to go back and fire the way it is supposed to be, which is an argument against the whole idea of someone was born that way." - Ex-gay activist Dr. Jerry Mungadze, who claims to be able to rewire gay brains.

Gays Caused The Frankenstorm

"Just last August, Hurricane Isaac hit New Orleans seven years later, on the exact day of Hurricane Katrina. Both hit during the week of the homosexual event called Southern Decadence in New Orleans! Hurricane Sandy is hitting 21 years to the day of the Perfect Storm of October 20, 1991.  America has been under God’s judgment since this event. Both of these hurricanes were cause by freakish weather patterns that came together to create. Twenty-one years breaks down to 7 x 3, which is a significant number with God. Three is perfection as the Godhead is three in one while seven is perfection. It appears that God gave America 21 years to repent of interfering with His prophetic plan for Israel; however, it has gotten worse under all the presidents and especially Obama. Obama is 100 percent behind the Muslim Brotherhood which has vowed to destroy Israel and take Jerusalem. Both candidates are pro-homosexual and are behind the homosexual agenda. America is under political judgment and the church does not know it!" - Pastor John McTernan, writing on his blog. (Via Gay Star News)

Satan Wrote The "Ex-Gay" Ban

"When he signed the bill on Saturday, the liberal governor said change therapy would 'now be relegated to the dustbin of quackery.' Really? Since when is helping a confused teenager under assault by powers of this dark world a dustbin of quackery? I don’t believe kids are born gay. I don’t have all the answers, but I believe there’s a spirit of immorality involved at the root level. I believe it often enters in through some sort of abuse and the lies of the enemy that follow. I believe it involves emotional and spiritual brokenness. I believe deliverance is available to those oppressed by this spirit. And I believe sexual orientation change efforts can help set the captives free. That’s why the enemy saw to it that California, a state with a high gay population rate, bans such therapy. California leads the nation in many trends. After trampling parental rights with this new bill, could it be possible that California will be the first to outlaw the Bible, prayer, missionaries or even the gospel itself, too? - Charisma Magazine editor Jennifer LeClaire.

Red-Caped Catholic Loons Plan 8000 Rosary Rallies To Stop Gay Marriage

The red-caped Catholic loons of Tradition Family & Property say they will hold 8000 rallies nationwide in October when they will pray to the BVM to stop same-sex marriage. Via press release:

"Trust in human solutions is fading. That's why people are turning to God and His Blessed Mother for courage and hope. The need for conversion, prayer and penance is more pressing today than it was in 1917 when Our Lady appeared to the three shepherd children, Jacinta, Francisco and Lucia." In over 8,000 locations in the United States, rally captains are preparing for the 2012 Public Square Rosary Crusade, which will be held simultaneously on October 13, from 12:00 noon to 1:00 PM local time. Everyone is welcome to attend one of the events sponsored by The American Society for the Defense of Tradition, Family and Property (TFP) and its America Needs Fatima campaign.

If tradition holds, these rallies will featured staged attacks, blurred license plates, and video of roadside trash they'll claim had just been hurled at them by homofascists.

Christians Must Vote For Christians, Part 3

"With five straight years of $1 Trillion-plus deficits to the anti-God mayor of Boston discriminating against successful Christian businesses like Chik-Fil-A for standing up for God's definition of marriage, these are reasons for every American to affirm our covenant with God. George Washington, John Adams and John Jay made the USA's Christian laws based on the Holy Bible. Americans can't abandon our Founding Fathers and turn to Satan now. I call every pastor to speak up for Chik-Fil-A and God's marriage. Denominations should boldly teach: vote for Christians, not non-Christians (Exodus 18:21). God judges homosexual societies (2Peter 2:6). - Pastor Steven "Jazz Hands" Andrew, via press release.

Tomahawk Fight Demo At NRA Convention

Pudgy middle-aged rednecks watched other pudgy middle-aged rednecks flail at each other with tomahawks during this weekend's NRA convention. They fight like in the Matrix!

Pat Robertson, Demon Hunter

Michelle Duggar: Overpopulation Is A Lie

"Because really, the entire population of the world, if they were stood shoulder to shoulder, could fit in the city limits of Jacksonville. So if you realize that aspect of it, you realize that we're nowhere near being overpopulated. We’ve had other countries coming to our doorstep, asking us to please let their people know that they need to have more children. They are seeing that their death rates are outnumbering their birth rates and they’re in crisis." - Michelle Duggar, speaking to the Christian Broadcasting Network.

RELATED: Duggar mentions Jacksonville because it's the largest Florida city by population and the largest in the United States by area. This was accomplished by the 1968 consolidation of Duval County and the city of Jacksonville. Jacksonville is also the 11th largest city in the country by population, another "city limits technicality" that places it ahead of San Francisco, Boston, Washington, and many other better known places.

Just In From Pastor Jazz Hands

"Mitt Romney is a Mormon and Barak Obama is a Muslim or something else-but definitely not a Christian. Romney believes in another Jesus, not the Biblical Jesus. Romney's Jesus is a created being, the spirit brother of Lucifer. Romney thinks he will become a God. Christians consider this evil. Jesus is the second Person of the Godhead -- God eternal. Romney's Jesus is a created being, the spirit brother of Lucifer. Romney is in a cult. Americans don't want someone deceived in the White House. God would be angry with Americans for voting for non-Christians." - Pastor Steve "Jazz Hands" Andrew, in this week's press release.

Christians To "Cry" For Filthy Hollywood

On Thursday thousands of Christians will gather in a Los Angeles amphitheater to "cry" for the festering immoral cesspool that Hollywood has become.

"The whole heart of the day is to pray … to fast … to worship, and to believe God [will] move in the heart of entertainment media in a way that will impact the whole nation and the world," details Faytene Grasseschi, the event director. "We all know how much of an influence entertainment media has on America, on the nations of the earth, and on the generation at large. So we're going there to pray … that God will move in a powerful way."

If Thursday's fasting goes anything like at Rick Perry's rally, expect very long lines in the food court.

Red-Caped Catholic Loons Protest New Planned Parenthood Facility

God Hates Mormons

"Jesus is God eternal, but Mormons think Jesus is a created being, the spirit brother of Lucifer. Many of our nation's problems are because of people-pleasing pastors. Unless Franklin Graham, Joel Osteen, Pat Robertson and others repent for disobeying Scripture and telling Christians its 'ok' to vote for Mormons, how can God bless America? Our sins are the 'root' issue for economic decline, weaker national security and freedoms lost-and some want one more sin by voting for a Mormon because they are afraid of Obama? Americans are to fear God, not Obama." - Pastor Steve "Jazz Hands" Andrew, in yet another press release.

The Thing That Ate Its Own Brain 5, With Victoria Jackson As The Thing

Hmm, it seems like somebody gave Victoria a big steaming cup of STFU. She's like a deranged teabagging lump on a log in this one.