Main | Tuesday, September 03, 2013

Announcing The End Of Homosexuality

The crackpot "ex-gays" over at PFOX have announced "the end of homosexuality." Training sessions will be conducted by Richard "Tennis Racket" Cohen and Christopher Doyle.  For a mere $295, these totally and forever gay scamsters will train you to be a certified "Sexual Orientation Coach" via 12 thirty minutes sessions of de-gaying by means of beating pillows while screaming "Why, mommy, why?" and by "touch therapy" in which Cohen and Doyle will lovingly hold the clients in their completely homosexual arms while muttering gruff Jeff Stryker-isms into their ears. You really want it, don't you? Oh, wait. That was the old therapy. The new therapy will be performed online! Oh, the possibilities!
Do you lack therapeutic skills that can help your SSA clients resolve wounds that lead to homosexual desires? Are you looking for a clear, easy-to-understand model of therapy that you can guide your SSA clients and help them achieve their heterosexual potential? MOST importantly, are you looking for a training you can do online, from your home or place of work/school, that doesn't require you to spend hundreds of dollars in travel and hotel? Look no more! International Healing Foundation (IHF) has adapted its successful three-day Counselor Training Program, which has trained hundreds of therapists and counselors all over North America, South America, and Europe in the last five years, to a new online format. All participants who attend each class will receive a Certificate of Attendance for Sexual Orientation Training and Education. A Certificate as a Certified Sexual Orientation Coach will be mailed to those who complete all the requirements within one year of the final day of this training.
For an additional $100 donation they will send you a Don't Let Me Suck Your Cock wristband so that unwary suitors know to steer clear at the local dirty bookstore. How proactive!

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