Main | Friday, November 17, 2006

Karl Rove: "That Ho Hottie Totally Cost Us The Election!"

Karl Rove, quoted above, (special JMG translation) continues to deny his responsibility in steering his party right up the pointy bedsheets of racists and dominionists and out of its plurality in Congress. More literally quoted, Darth Voldermort includes Mike Jones among his short list of ills that undid God's Own Party, telling Time Magazine, "The profile of corruption in the exit polls was bigger than I'd expected. Abramoff, lobbying, Foley and Haggard added to the general distaste that people have for all things Washington, and it just reached critical mass." (via - Columbia Journalism Review. Emphasis motherfucking mine.)

Speaker of Rove's ho hottie, I've had a couple of chats with Mike Jones since yesterday's post went up, and he has asked me to relay his deepest appreciation for our little class project. To the readers of JMG, he simply says, " I really do not know the words to thank you by." While it's often hard to get an accurate read on someone without meeting them face-to-face, so far I find Jones to be a guileless Everyman, almost charmingly naive. I almost wonder if he would have even known who Karl Rove was, had he been asked before all this started. He seems like a totally regular, amiable guy who had this big honking Howard Beale moment, and acted on it, probably without much consideration of how he might be deepening his own woes. A playah, he does not appear to be.

Mike has been diligently responding to everyone that donates, via a personal thank-you email. He tells me that yesterday's donations have allowed him to get caught up on his car payments, his utilitities, and even more importantly, as he put it to me, " I can eat again." Less happy was Mike's news that rumors have reached him warning that his landlord is working to have him evicted, presumably because of the bad press. I'm gonna wager that a few threatening phone calls might have reached that landlord, as well. And the police have come around Mike's place again, doubtlessly charged by the tithes-laden mujahadeen of Jeebus to leave no rimseat unturned until loving Christian vengeance can be thrust into Mike's heart, via the Holy Spirit or a pointed stick, whichever is handy.

But things ARE looking up for Mike Jones, overall (I hope), and that's at least partly due to the generosity of the JMG readers and the readers of all the other bloggers who have given Mike Jones' story the visibility it deserves. It's not over for Mike, not yet, not by a long shot. But the PayPal fund is keeping his head above water for the moment. Hopefully, as word continues to spread about what you folks have started here, donations will come in until Mike's employment situation, personal safety, and legal worries have been improved.

Please visit the blogs linked in the post below and read their varied and interesting takes on the Jones-Haggard affair. And how about that Dan Savage, coming to bat for Mike Jones? Maybe his next column can tell us how to get santorum out of pastoral robes. Bah dum dum!

Kidding aside folks, if you haven't yet made the decision to stuff a few bucks into Mike Jones' virtual g-string, here's how I stated my case on Dan Savage's blog last night: "Hey, I tip my bartender a dollar for moving a bottle of beer two feet across the counter for me. Mike Jones had a hand in moving the entire country for me. And I always tip generously for excellent service."

Yeah, I still like that comparison.

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