"Tonight, I'm sucking one THIS big!"

Florida Homo-Elect Charlie Crist, celebrates. The closeted Repub guv-to-be said, "Tonight we all came together as one, just like like that time at the Folsom after-party!" Executive offices are quickly being redecorated in Tallahassee as local paint stores report a run on aubergine, eggshell and seafoam. Crist has already begun cruising for Florida's Director of Homeland Security. "No fats, no fems, no total bottoms!"