Because Bald Men Will Never Be Topped By Bodybuilders In An Interracial Threeway In The Fire Island Meatrack

This ridiculous ad for Blair Hair Replacement comes courtesy of this week's HX Magazine. Note how the "dick" literally runs away from the bald guy, screaming, "Ewww! God, he looks like my Dad!" Also, notice how the hairweave transforms him from a decorated capri-wearing troll into a square-cut stud. Good thing we've got that tattoo to go by, or we'd never believe it was the same guy! So.Much.Wrong.Here. I can't summon the energy. You do it. Go crazy.