Fried Sea Kittens With Tartar Sauce

"Even if animal research resulted in a cure for AIDS, we'd be against it." — Ingrid Newkirk, President and Co-Founder of PETA.

I was thinking about the above quote this weekend as I deleted a bunch of emails from PETA supporters who were screaming and foaming at the mouth because I mocked PETA's "sea kittens" metaphorical crapola. That 1989 quote from Ingrid Newkirk is when I really started paying attention to PETA, whom (up until then) I'd naively assumed was merely a more aggressive version of the ASPCA. I won't give them the satisfaction of reprinting the emails here, but let's just agree that the plan is for me to die a slow agonizing death when my animal products-choked arteries finally cut off what little oxygen is still getting through to my brain. Or something. Oh, and posting pictures of my cat is promoting animal slavery. So I guess I should set Shelley free on the streets of Manhattan. Or something. Good grief.