Main | Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Sen. Sam Brownback: We Don't Want Man-Beasts Or She-Fishes!

Sen. Sam Brownback (R-KS), upset about all those centaurs ravaging the Kansas plains, has submitted a bill banning the creation of animal-human hybrids. From the hilarious Jeff Vrabel:
Republican Sen. Sam Brownback of Kansas and the dark side of Neptune and 2008 presidential candidate for exactly 24 minutes (less time than Fred Thompson, just in case you were worried that was impossible), introduced legislation banning the creation of terrifying-sounding ANIMAL-HUMAN HYBRIDS, such as mermaids, or Perez Hilton. “Creating human-animal hybrids, which permanently alter the genetic makeup of an organism, will challenge the very definition of what it means to be human and is a violation of human dignity and a grave injustice," Brownback said, adding, "A PLANET WHERE APES EVOLVED FROM MAN?" Needless to say, this story has caused about 80 percent of political bloggers to lose their Red Bulled minds in near-hysteric glee, though nearly all of their joke-posts were decorated with an image of the Little Mermaid, which doesn't do much to deny the obvious suspicion that people who spend their lives sitting in front of a computers would read "human-animal hybrid" and immediately think "hot shirtless teen mermaid" (a phrase which, incidentally, is going to send this column's Google hits into FREAKING ORBIT).
Won't somebody please think about the furries?

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