This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days...

California: Pastor Martin Richter arrested for sexually assaulting a 13 year-old girl. There may be other victims.
New Jersey: Pastor Gregor Woodcuff arrested on multiple counts of sexually assaulting an underage girl.
Minnesota: Pastor John Erbele pleads guilty to soliciting prostitution.
New York: Pastor Humberto Cruz convicted on ten counts of child molestation.
Delaware: Pastors Jamaar and Rhonda Manlove charged with 21 felony counts of mortgage fraud, possibly the largest such case in state history.
Missouri: Pastor Wayne Hudson charged with child molestation.
Alabama: Pastor Ralph Lee Aaron receives multiple life sentences for molesting four pre-teen boys and creating child pornography.
New Hampshire: Pastor Timothy Dillmuth charged with failing to report child abuse.
Louisiana: Pastor Burcham Warren pleads guilty to molesting an 11 year-old girl.
Minnesota: Pastor Danial Barnes sentenced to 11 years in prison for assault, burglary, and kidnapping.
Maryland: Father Thomas Bevan charged with multiple counts of molesting boys.
Wisconsin: Father Edmund Donkor-Baine charged with sexual assault.
Pennsylvania: Father Ralph Johnson charged with 45 counts of sexual abuse of a minor.
Florida: Father Kenneth Hasselbach convicted of possession of child pornography. Hasselbach was previously accused of sexually molesting an altar boy.
New York: Imam Zulqarnain Abdu-Shahid arrested for smuggling box cutters into a Manhattan jail. Abdu-Shahid has served 14 years in prison for a 1979 murder conviction.

This Week's Winner -
Australia: Father Richard Abourjaily has been reassigned from Sydney to Perth after being caught defrauding his congregants by claiming he had prostate cancer and desperately needed money in order to visit the miraculous healing waters of Lourdes, France. Abourjaily was previously dismissed from a seminary in Lincoln, Nebraska for pulling the same scam, but his Australian overseers totally swear he won't do it for a third time in Perth.