The Wives Of Comrades

Support groups and websites have sprung up in China for the "wives of comrades," women who are married to gay men.

"The condition of these ‘homowives is extremely tragic," wrote Li Yinhe, a professor of sociology at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences and one of the leading advocates for these women, in a recent blogpost. "Most days they wash their faces with tears." Despite this, many of the women remain in the marriages. "Only a few of these women choose to divorce their husbands," says Zhang. "Usually these have a higher educational background and are more independent financially. Also, most of those who choose to get a divorce don’t have children with their husbands." This was not the case for Wen, who eventually decided to ask for a divorce a year after finding out the truth. "I struggled with the decision, especially since we had a daughter together and I didn’t want her growing up without a father. But I didn’t want her growing up in a twisted family either," she explains. "While gay husbands cannot satisfy their wives sexually, some can still be good fathers and care for their families," says Zhang. "But to these wives, the hardest thing is mental or emotional abuse rather than physical abuse. Their husbands don’t love them, some are even disgusted by any physical contact, and this is the hardest thing for any women.

According to the above-linked story, the vast majority of gay men in China still marry women for appearances sake.