The Future Queen Of England

When Kate Middleton marries Prince William, she'll become the first commoner to marry into the British royal family since the 1600s. I wonder if gay America will get up at 5am to watch this wedding, like we all did in 1981 for Princess Diana. The boys across the hall from me in Orlando actually had a party, complete with mimosas and tiaras for all.

CORRECTION: Above I should have specified that Middleton will be the first commoner since the 1600s to marry an heir to the throne, which is very different than what I wrote. My apologies.

Kate Middleton will be the first commoner to marry an heir presumptive to the throne in more than 350 years, since Anne Hyde wed the Duke of York, later James II, in 1660. Even so, Hyde was the daughter of Charles II's lord chancellor and chief adviser, the future Earl of Clarendon – rather than, as 28-year-old Middleton is, the offspring of a couple who have made a fortune providing bags for children's parties. Among Middleton's ancestors are Northumbrian miners and Kent builders' labourers. Her mother, Carole, was formerly a British Airways flight attendant – hence the snobbish jibes of some royal hangers-on about "doors to manual" – and her father, Michael, also once worked for BA as a dispatcher, making sure flights left on time and with the correct cargo. The couple met while working for BA and started their married life in a flat in Slough, just across the river from the future in-laws.