This Week In Holy Crimes

Over the last seven days....

California: Pastor Tommy Gene Daniels held on $6M bail for six felony counts of molesting girls as young as five years old.
Massachusetts: Father Gary Mercure on trial for molesting two altar boys.
South Carolina: Pastor Daniel Belcher charged with embezzling $200,000 from a former employer.
Britain: Catholic Church settles lawsuit filed by three brothers molested by the same priest. Amount undisclosed.
Pennsylvania: Pastor Jeffrey Lynn Crosley charged with two counts of child molestation.
New York: Father Christopher Turczany resigns over sex-offender volunteer.
Kentucky: Episcopal Diocese and Boy Scouts sued for covering up child molestation.
Britain: Pastor David Morrison convicted of operating immigration fraud scam.
Delaware: Father Cornelius J. Breslin charged with embezzling $350,000 from his parish.
Massachusetts: Rev. Charles Abdelahad charged with rape and assault.
Wisconsin: Vatican refuses lawsuit filed on behalf of students molested at school for the deaf.
Britain: Imam Mohammed Hanif Khan convicted of molesting two boys.
Washington DC: Father Garrett Orr charged with two counts of child molestation.
Florida: Friar William C. Wert charged with child molestation.
Texas: Archdiocese of San Antonio settles molestation suit for $1M.

This Week's Winner
New York: Sister Mary Turcotte of the Apostles of Infinite Love convent has confessed that she was not raped by a big scary black man, as she told police, but had invented the attack in order to cover up a consensual fling with a convenience store worker she'd snuck in the back door of the convent. Upon Turcotte's description, the NYPD had distributed a sketch of a tall, heavy black man in his 40s.