CDC: There Are No Actual Zombies

"CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)," wrote agency spokesman David Daigle in an email to The Huffington Post. Nevertheless, recent incidents in which humans reportedly ate human flesh have the Internet in a firestorm, with "zombie apocalypse" being Google's third most popular search term by Friday morning.Which takes me back to the warning I found scrawled on the men's room wall of a Hell's Kitchen gay bar back in 2005.
In the event of a zombie crisis:
1. Find a good man who's got your back.
2. Always aim for the brain pan.
3. Save a bullet for yourself, dude.