God Kills 20, Saves 11

The Billy Graham Rapid Response Team (seriously) swooped into Oklahoma to ask tornado victims if they want to make sure that they go to heaven when the next twister strikes.  Because God totally sent their unsaved neighbors to hell when he murdered them.

"God sheltered them, then He saved them," said Michael Glassey, an RRT crisis-trained chaplain from Riverside, Calif. "I asked each one separately if they wanted to receive Christ as their personal Savior so that if this ever happened again they would have the assurance of going to Heaven, and that they could also experience a new beginning that very moment," Glassey said of a group of survivors who had found refuge in the midst of the storm at Emmaus Baptist Church, the local base of operation for the Billy Graham Rapid Response Team chaplains and Samaritan's Purse. "They all said, 'yes,' and each received Christ into their hearts," he revealed.