Hideous Statue Stolen From Anita Bryant

Oklahoma cops are baffled after a hideous one-ton marble statue was stolen from the front yard of Anita Bryant. Cops are wondering how they did it, not why the fuck somebody would want it.

"You have got to be kidding me, I just can't believe that that happened in that quick of time," Charlie Dry exclaimed. "I mean, I'm still in shock that that planning went on like it did." Dry and his wife, former Miss Oklahoma and Miss America runner-up Anita Bryant, left for just three hours on May 25th. When they returned to their Deer Creek home, they found a hole where their statue once stood. "Who would even think that you're going to go to that much trouble to bring out a forklift and everything to pick up a huge statue like that," Dry asked. The statue is six feet tall, five feet long, three feet wide and made of solid marble. It weighs nearly a ton and depicts a man riding a horse. "That was the sole target, not my home. That was the sole target - to pick up that statue and leave with it," Dry said.

Bryant's husband claims that the statue cost $30,000. He tells Oklahoma television: "People work hard for their possessions and to have someone just come and take stuff. I'm from a small town and them is shooting days right there." (Tipped by JMG reader Matt)