Ass Wednesday

Tim Hardaway scrambled damn fast to get his name off the sign at his Miami car wash. But can even his shitty name be as bad as "Grand Luxe Auto Bathe"?
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Baldguyz Boot

''BaldGuyz, like baldness, does not discriminate based on lifestyle choice, color, education, financial resources, religion, physical capabilities or in any other way.'' - Howard Brauner, CEO of BaldGuyz, as he fired NBA star Tim Hardaway from his Baldguyz endorsement deal. Thanks, Howard. But, um, "lifestyle choice"?

Back To The Car Wash

"It is inappropriate for him to be representing us given the disparity between his views and ours,'' NBA Commissioner David Stern, announcing that former Miami Heat star Tim Hardaway was being removed from All-Star Weekend activities. Yesterday, Hardaway effectively ended his sportscasting ambitions by saying on sports radio, "I hate gay people, so I let it be known. I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States." Hardaway owns a Miami car wash, where he will now be seen six days a week, applying hot wax to his big mouth.

UPDATE: The review site for Hardaway's car wash is here, you know, should you have something to say. The phone number is (305) 447-9998 .

UPDATE II: The reviews are pouring in.