Black Supremacy Group Sues Toymaker Because Their Doll Isn't Black Enough

The Black Israelites can often be found in Times Square wearing their Earth Wind & Fire costumes and screaming about sodomites and how Black Jesus is going to come back any day and kill every white person.  This week they're in the news because they're rilly rilly mad that the talking doll they ordered in the likeness of their leader doesn't look like him and "isn't black enough." So they're suing.

The Israelite Church of God in Jesus Christ says the Connecticut toymaker put “pointed noses and faces” on the dolls. And half of them “were light brown” instead of “dark brown,” the court papers state. Now the church wants its $45,000 down payment back from the Vicale Corp. and is seeking another $120,000 in damages, according to the lawsuit filed in Manhattan. Toymaker Emil Vicale said an “obnoxious” customer named Jason Moody put in the doll order, and approved the design and the skin color. And he intends to countersue. “I’m so angry with these people,” said Vicale. “We had just 2 1/2 weeks to put it together. . . . The whole job was very, very peculiar.” Once known as the Israeli Church of Universal Practical Knowledge, the church says blacks are one of the lost tribes of Israel. They’ve been branded a hate group by the Southern Poverty Law Center.

The Black Israelites ordered 1000 of the dolls at a cost of $70 each. The toymaker also makes a machine gun-toting "Obama action figure" and an anatomically-correct Anthony Weiner "Tweet This" doll.

Choose The Robot

WWJW?

Product description: "Jesus of Nazareth's Mix n' Match magnetic wardrobe. What will Jesus wear? You decide. Stick this magnetic Jesus on your fridge and dress him up for Easter Sunday, casual Friday and 5 other mix-and-match looks. The Jesus figure measures approximately 8” tall. This magnetic set includes approximately 25 magnetic clothes and accessories. $13.95."  Source.

The Gender-Neutral Easy Bake Oven

In response to an online petition, Hasbro says they are working on the launch of a gender-neutral version of the long-selling Easy Bake Oven.

McKenna Pope, 13, of Garfield, N.J., got more than 40,000 signatures on her online petition at Change.org and the support of celebrity chefs including Bobby Flay, who backed her call for Hasbro to make a gender-neutral oven and to include boys in the ads. She was prompted to start the petition after shopping for an Easy-Bake as a Christmas present for her 4-year-old brother, Gavyn Boscio, and finding them only in purple and pink. Hasbro invited McKenna and her family to its Pawtucket, R.I., headquarters to meet with its Easy-Bake team, and on Monday, they drove to Rhode Island from New Jersey. During the meeting, Hasbro executives showed off a prototype of their newest Easy-Bake: one that's black, silver and blue.

Just a wild hunch, but I'm guessing lots of you had or (more likely) desperately desired an Easy Bake as a child.

Headline Of The Day

Maybe his wife should have used a strap-on.

Etch-A-Sketch Issues Election Versions

Etch-A-Sketch has issued special 2012 red and blue models to capitalize on the famous gaffe by a Romney advisor. (Via Andrew Belonsky)

Mattel Launches Drag Queen Barbie

This is not, surprisingly, from The Onion. Global Grind reports:

Mattel has announced plans to produce their first ever Drag Queen Barbie in collaboration with the New York City-based design duo The Blonds, who are responsible for dressing some of the biggest names around, including Katy Perry and Jennifer Lopez. The gender bender doll called ‘The Blonds Blond Diamond Barbie Doll’ doesn't come equipped with detachable lady parts or a Ken bump, it is simply a regular Barb that takes after the cross dressing Phillipe Blond of the NYC design duo, and we think it is pretty darn fab. The drag queen doll is dressed in a diamond encrusted mini dress with a floor sweeping faux fur coat (take note!) glitter pumps and over the top makeup. The doll is set to hit the shelves just in time for Christmas. Don't end up on Santa's naughty list, because this Barbie costs a pretty penny at $125.

Looks like regular Barbie to me. This guy agrees.

(Tipped by JMG reader Greg)

Berenstain Bears To Drop Chick-Fil-A?

Source.

Reply Hazy, Try Again

Source.

The Bipartisan Vibrator

A fantasy toy from Babeland.

On the Red Channel:
“Oh yeah, baby, just like a filibuster.”
“I’ll make you scream louder than a Fox News talk show host.”
“A little lower please, and I mean lower than a billionaire’s tax rate.”
“Drill, baby, drill.”

On the Blue Channel:
“We can do this together, yes, we can.”
“A little more to the left, oh yeah, there, that’s it.”
“Orgasms for all.”
“Occupy me.”

One Million Moms Against Ho Barbies

A Fairy Surprise For Barbie

Copyranter is calling this "Lesbian Barbie" because he thinks Ken looks like Ellen DeGeneres. But I got another impression entirely.

Toys Are From Satan!

From a Halloween special on Christian TV.

(Source)

Honey Badger: The Talking Doll

In Stock: RPG Jesus

(Via - Jesus Needs New PR)

Resistance Is Futile

You will join the Apple Borg, my child.

According to ThinkGeek, the set "introduces children to the magic of Apple technology." There's an entire two-level Apple Store staffed by PLAYMOBIL™ associates, with tiny demo tables filled with minuscule Apple gear, software shelves, and even the kid's corner on the ground floor. Upstairs, there's a Genius Bar and a Keynote Theater staffed by a mini Steve Jobs figure. The Store is designed so that you can use your own iPhone 4 as Steve's screen in the theater, and there are simulated Keynote presentations available for download on the PLAYMOBIL™ website.

Custer's Last Stand, Again

Some Native Amerians in South Dakota are upset that McDonald's has issued a new Happy Meal figure of General George Custer. The toy is a tie-in with the new Night At The Museum movie.

The fast food chain's decision to circulate the toy in Indian Country is akin to circulating a Hitler figure in Israel, according to Laurette Pourier, executive director for the Society for the Advancement of Native Interests-Today. “It's insensitive and disrespectful.” “We are oral historians, and Custer's escapades are not far from our hearts,” said Paula Long Fox, a guidance counselor for the Rapid City School District. “Custer didn't kill Indians or Natives, he killed relatives.” The majority of the U.S. Army's victims were friendly Native Americans who would not run, Long Fox said. The military campaigns against Native Americans were driven by the government's desire to acquire land without any consideration for Native Americans as human beings, she said.

McDonald's apparently plans to run the promotion as planned.

Toys R Us Buys FAO Schwarz

Toys R Us has purchased Manhattan landmark FAO Schwarz, arguably the most famous toy store in the world. The FAO Schwarz brand will live on for internet and catalog sales.

Tramp Stamp Barbie

Some parents aren't too pleased about Tattoo Stamper Barbie.

That's Life: Board Games Make You Gay!

Under the site-topping headline "Game For 6 Year Olds Pushes Same Sex Marriage!", World Net Daily is foaming at the mouth because some mom somewhere noticed that the online version of Milton Bradley's kid classic The Game Of Life does not prevent children from selecting a same-sex spouse.

The online version of a popular board game from many Americans' childhood includes an option for players to choose homosexual marriage and child-rearing as a way of life. Through the Shockwave.com website, even children can download and play a free trial version of The Game of Life, the first game ever created by Mr. Milton Bradley in 1860. The player's first option in the online version is to choose a persona based on pictures that clearly depict men and women. Shortly thereafter, the game invites players to choose a spouse, regardless of the potential spouse's sex.

Everybody here who put two pink or two blue pegs into that little car on the physical version of the game raise your hand. Yeah, me too. World Net Daily wrote to the company to complain.

"Your guidelines ask us to 'keep your language safe for the kids,' yet here's a game where children may choose homosexual marriage and child-rearing," WND wrote. "Many sections of society accept this as normative, but many also would consider this too mature a theme for children. Others would consider this downright offensive. Is it appropriate to include, for example, lesbianism in this game?"

You have to give them credit for finding new and inventive ways to hate.