In The Cookie Aisle

Walgreens, Upper East Side, Wednesday 7pm

I'm poking around the soft drinks section, looking for Diet Coke with Splenda, on the advice of my coworkers who swear by it. It doesn't seem to be on sale in any of the midtown delis, so I haven't had a chance to try it.

I'm studying the stupid number of different Diet Cokes on sale: Diet Coke, Diet Coke w/Lime. Caffeine-Free Diet Coke, Diet Coke w/Vanilla, Cherry Diet Coke, Diet Black Cherry Vanilla Coke, Diet Vanilla Cherry Cocaine Angeldust....ARGH! Where is the mofo Splenda?

There's a short black woman in the cookie aisle. She's walking a pudgy little white boy by both hands as he coos and points at the cookies. Here in the heart of Nanny Nation, the mothers are far too busy making partner to take their babies to Walgreens. The nanny is being very gentle and patient and is using the pictures on the cookie boxes to teach the boy colors.

"Jess! Dass'a red cooh-kie!" she says approvingly in broad patois as the boy points to a box.

"Bello!"

"Berry guhd! Dass'a yellow cooh-kie!" The boy shrieks in delight at being right. His vocabulary seems limited to colors and shrieking.

"Boo!"

"Jess, bebbie. Dass'a blue cooh-kie!"

I'm thinking, "What kind of cookie is blue?"

The nanny bends down to put her face level with the toddler. "Does you want a cooh-kie right now?"

"DAMN RIGHT!"

This kid will make partner before his mother does.
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