HomoQuotable - Rex Wockner

After Jerry Lewis' "illiterate fag" flap, reporter Rex Wockner was reading an LA Times interview with GLAAD's Marc McCarthy, who was asked by Times columnist Meghan Daum if it wasn't time to "reclaim the f-word".

Daum: I asked McCarthy if GLAAD had given any thought to the concept of "taking back" words like the f-word. I mentioned, for instance, that I had recently seen a T-shirt that said, "Marriage is for Fags." I told him I found this to be a brilliant subversion not only of right-wing, anti-gay dogma but of certain reactionary liberal positions that equate marriage with patriarchal oppression. In other words, it cut through the hyperbole of both sides of the issue and landed squarely (if ever so subtly) in the pro-gay marriage camp. McCarthy did not share my enthusiasm.

"That's upsetting," he said. "You're sending a confusing message to the straight community. By having a word that we're trying not to advocate next to a word like marriage . . . it's just wrong on so many different levels."

McCarthy was careful to mention that he isn't gay but is a "straight ally" of the LGBT community, which, he said, simply means that you're supportive of the community and an advocate for tolerance. I would also put myself in this camp, but does that mean I'm not allowed to like that T-shirt? And what about the fact that some of the most celebrated straight allies in the world are unblinkingly referred to as "fag hags?"

Wockner reacted on his blog: "Talk about wrong on so many levels. Starting with, should the Gay & Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation have a straight senior director of communications? Especially if he's a straight guy who completely lacks the gay humor gene? You can order your "Marriage is for fags" T-shirt here."

Wockner raises two very interesting questions. Is it time to reclaim "faggot" as we successfully did a decade ago with "queer"? I remember being amused that Dan Savage's sex advice column was called Hey, Faggot! (until he was pressured (I think) into changing it to Savage Love). Is Wockner right in that we need to lighten up and have a better sense of humor about the f-word? Or is it now like the n-word, acceptable for use only within the community, even though many within still object? And can a straight guy be effective in a leadership position in a gay rights organization?

CORRECTION: Dan Savage emailed me to correct me about the name of his column...

Hey, Joe...

The column was Savage Love from day one. For the first five-ish years the letters all began with "Hey, Faggot." I eventually dropped it on my own -- pissing off papers that had fought to keep it (particularly in SF) -- because the joke was stale. It was a reference to the Queer Nation era, the time when there was an active, lively debate about reclaiming hate words like faggot, dykes, sissy, and queer. When that debate faded away (Queer Nation won -- see "dyke march," "marriage is for fags," "queer studies," etc.), I decided to drop the salutation from the column.

But i still use "fag" in the column, almost constantly.

JMG: My apologies to Dan for the mistake.