Senator Santorum II

JMG blogroller Princess Sparkle Pony has a huge scoop over on Wonkette, telling the story of his friend, IT geek bear David Phillips, who had a memorable (and messy) sexual encounter with Sen. Larry Craig some 20 years ago. You knew these stories would cum dribbling out, right Mr. Toe-Tapper?

A Santorum-infused excerpt:

When we got to what reminded me of a rarely used guest room, he stripped me down, and the man’s hands and mouth were all over me. He kept his pants on, though, while laying me back on the bed to suck my cock. Then, he stripped naked and asked me to suck him. I complied for a while, then he disappeared and returned with lube and a condom to fuck me me with. It was a clumsy and unremarkable fuck, except that I wasn’t clean and he was frantic about not getting my shit on anything. Still, he blew his load, ripped the dirty condom off and ordered me to get dressed without wiping myself. He hurried me to the back door, again ranting, ‘You were never here. You don’t know me. Right?’”

Mr. Phillips’ next claim is startling, indeed: “On the way back through with shit all in my briefs and feeling totally humiliated I let my eyes wander and saw on a table a small envelope, like one from a gift or a floral arrangement, with ‘Suzanne Craig’ neatly written on it. This memory,” Phillips insists, “I noted about three hours after hearing Craig’s voice again, the night before I saw a current picture of him and a good day before I heard of his wife in the news. ‘That’s who’s going to fuck me up if she finds out,’ I thought. As he reached for the door, he took a $20 bill from his wallet, shoved in my front pocket, adding ‘Remember, I can buy and sell your ass ten thousand times over. You were never here. Don’t try to come back here. You don’t know me."

That Larry's a real charmer. Go read the rest. As Princess Sparkle Pony says, "Two sparkly hooves up!"
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