Main | Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Pregnant Husband

A transgender man, legally male and legally married to a woman, is carrying the couple's baby.
To our neighbors, my wife, Nancy, and I don’t appear in the least unusual. To those in the quiet Oregon community where we live, we are viewed just as we are -- a happy couple deeply in love. Our desire to work hard, buy our first home, and start a family was nothing out of the ordinary. That is, until we decided that I would carry our child.

I am transgender, legally male, and legally married to Nancy. Unlike those in same-sex marriages, domestic partnerships, or civil unions, Nancy and I are afforded the more than 1,100 federal rights of marriage. Sterilization is not a requirement for sex reassignment, so I decided to have chest reconstruction and testosterone therapy but kept my reproductive rights. Wanting to have a biological child is neither a male nor female desire, but a human desire.


How does it feel to be a pregnant man? Incredible. Despite the fact that my belly is growing with a new life inside me, I am stable and confident being the man that I am. In a technical sense I see myself as my own surrogate, though my gender identity as male is constant. To Nancy, I am her husband carrying our child—I am so lucky to have such a loving, supportive wife. I will be my daughter’s father, and Nancy will be her mother. We will be a family.

Outside the local medical community, people don’t know I’m five months’ pregnant. But our situation ultimately will ask everyone to embrace the gamut of human possibility and to define for themselves what is normal.
Predictably, the Freepers are outdoing themselves on this one. However, there's an intelligent and (mostly) respectful conversation going on over at Boing, Boing.

(Via -

UPDATE: Since I was living in SF at the time and knew the story well (as one of the subjects was a bartender at the Lone Star), I should have included a link to a story about Pal Califia and Matt Rice, two gay transmen who had a baby together around 2000. JMG reader Chris B tracked down the story for us.

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