How To Ruin Graduation

1. Turn your student invocation into an attack on the "worship of the intellectual mind" which is what everybody present is celebrating, really.
2. Go on for a long, droning, unbearable time.
3. Finish with a sobbing seizure in the the blood of the lamb.
4. Force call for ambulance over public address system.
5. Christianity jackpot!

(Tipped by JMG reader Michael)