Porno Pete As Allen Ginsberg

The hilarious folks at Christwire have outdone themselves with today's entry in which they rewrite Allen Ginsberg's classic poem Howl from the perspective of Peter LaBarabera. It begins:

I saw the greatest hopes of my Christian nation destroyed by homosexuality, penetrating, violating and ejaculating, faith leaders and all-American jocks prowling Castro nights for angry leather studs, suburban hipsters sparking ganja joints as they click through the skanky dilemma of Craigslist at 3am, who Pumas and Chinese tattoos and herbal teas sat up contemplating lubricants and Lady Gaga, who bared their buttocks on webcams and saw millionaire Manhattan sugar daddies conspiring to overturn the U.S. Constitution, who passed through liberal universities with radiant allowances, hallucinating a Clintonian dynasty, who danced fiercely at afterhours clubs, tasting the heights of depraved sodomistic orgies of feces and urine for the first time, who burned away that last shred of decency without even bothering to listen as mothers cried on the other end of the phone, who consumed every word Rachel Maddow ever spoke, liberalism, or prostituted this nation’s future night after night with blog posts, with protests, with Pelosi, with waking nightmares, Veuve Clicquot and Creole crawfish dip and endless fundraising balls, incomparably blind state legislatures voting to legalize sodomy, homosexual marriage, and the utter destruction of all 6,000 years of human history.....

Somebody totally needs to perform this on YouTube. Go read the entire thing. It still kills me that so many of Christwire's readers aren't in on the joke.

RELATED: If you are unfamiliar with Howl and its unique pacing, you might want to read the original first.