White House Denies Alien Contact

The White House has formally responded to two petitions demanding that the federal government finally come clean about all those aliens they're hiding at Area 51 or wherever.

"The U.S. government has no evidence that any life exists outside our planet, or that an extraterrestrial presence has contacted or engaged any member of the human race," Phil Larson from the White House Office of Science and Technology Policy reported on the WhiteHouse.gov website."In addition, there is no credible information to suggest that any evidence is being hidden from the public’s eye." The petition calling on the government to disclose any knowledge of or communication with extraterrestrial beings was signed by 5,387 people, and 12,078 signed the request for a formal acknowledgement from the White House that extraterrestrials have been engaging the human race.

According to the petitioners, 80% of the American public believes the government is lying about alien contact.