Sen. Mike Johanns Named "Gun Saint"

The St. Gabriel Possenti Society has named GOP Sen. Mike Johanns (NE) as its "gun saint" of self-defense for his work to thwart gun control laws. In other news, there is a Patron Saint of Handgunners. Or will be, rather, if the Vatican approves the request of the Society.

The Society's patron, St. Gabriel Possenti, a seminarian, rescued villagers of Isola del Gran Sasso, Italy in 1860 from renegade marauders. By shooting a lizard running across the road, he demonstrated his handgun marksmanship to the terrorists and marched them out of town. He did this without causing physical harm to a single human being. St. Gabriel Possenti was canonized by Pope Benedict XV in 1920. The Society seeks his Vatican designation as Patron of Handgunners.

In the name of the Father, the Son, and EAT LEAD, MOTHERFUCKER!