Main | Friday, February 20, 2009

The Sanctity Of Marriage, Part 98

You can't get married once, but any old hetero loon can get married 23 times.
Throughout her life, she has been Mrs. Scott, Mrs. Street and Mrs. Smith. She was also Mrs. Moyer, Mrs. Massie and Mrs. McMillan. But the former Mrs. Berisford, Mrs. Chandler and Mrs. Essex was born Linda Lou Taylor. She grew up in Alexandria, Ind., a place that lays claim to the largest ball of dried paint in the world. More than a decade ago, the 68-year-old found her own way to bring Indiana a Guinness world record: She got hitched for the 23rd time. Now known as Mrs. Linda Wolfe, she is the most married woman in history. Two of her husbands were gay. Two were homeless. A few stepped out on her, but she never did the dirty on them. One choked her and turned her lip inside out. Another secured the fridge with padlock and chain. "It's easy to sum up," she said of her life. "When I was younger I was just a snot-nosed kid, but the neighborhood boys were all in love with me. They all wanted to marry me." She has been single now for a dozen years. "I would get married again," she said, "because, you know, it gets lonely."
Two gay husbands out of 23. How boringly statistically average.

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