Pepsi Presents Central Park

OK, so it's not that bad. But still.

City officials revealed yesterday that they want to sell naming rights to popular Parks Department attractions to major corporations.

Officials have not said which particular locations are ready to be sold yet, but almost any major attraction in the city's parks and recreation system could be up for grabs.

That group includes the zoos that draw in thousands of visitors annually, the amphitheaters that pack in summer revelers, the gigantic swimming pools or scores of tennis-court clusters.

The Verizon Belvedere Fountain? The Taco Bell Bronx Zoo? The Coca Cola Cloisters?

Make. It. Stop.

"Tom of Finland Presents The Ramble" would be kinda funny.