God Wants You To Vote Republican

Because one day you'll be standing before Jeebus and have to account for your actions when he asks, "Why did you vote for a leader who's attempting to redefine my institution of marriage?" And if your answer is "because that leader was good on jobs and the economy," you are TOTALLY getting your ass sent to hell. Apparently Jeebus doesn't care too much whether you fed the poor or healed the sick. Blah, blah, BORING. What will get you ushered into Everlasting Glory, clearly, is spending your time on Earth with your Holy Boots on the necks of the heathens. Prai$e Hi$ Name! Vote GOP!