One Million Shrews: We Totally Caused JCPenney To Lose Millions Of Dollars

JCPenney has announced a $168M loss for the quarter that ended last month. Which is totally because of One Million Shrews and their campaign against Ellen DeGeneres.

"Sales have plummeted since J.C. Penney showed their new, bold marketing strategy, including pushing a lesbian spokesperson and same-sex couples in their advertising," Cole says, referring to the retailer's announcement earlier this year that openly homosexual entertainer Ellen DeGeneres will be their advertising spokesperson. "If they would stop pushing a deviant and unhealthy lifestyle and focus on product quality and value along with excellent customer service, their bottom line would not be suffering," Cole advises.