Email Of The Day - Eugene Delgaudio

"Dear Joe, I see well-known agents of the radical Homosexual Lobby everywhere. They are huddled in dark corners scheming and plotting. They meet secretly with newly elected members of Congress in hopes of tempting them to advance their perverse agenda with campaign cash and the promise of votes. My health is suffering under the strain of fighting the radical Homosexual Lobby with limited help. I can't eat, I can't sleep and I am sick with worry. I must ask you to keep the information I am about to give you confidential. If it gets into the hands of the Homosexual Lobby, they will use it to destroy me while we are weak: My office owes $116,333.38 to Larry and other small businessmen in Virginia. A few weeks ago, I mailed some of my most loyal Christian supporters a letter about the hate campaign the radical homosexuals were waging against America. I asked my friends to sign an important petition. And I am so thankful to my friends who signed their petitions. But only 2 of every 10 people to whom I wrote responded. That was less than I hoped for. I felt as if I were all alone. And it hurt." - Hate group crackpot Eugene Delgaudio, from today's 3000-word money beg.