Today's Dear Abby Column

Pauline Phillips, the original "Abigail Van Buren," died last year at the age of 94.  Here is today's advice from her daughter Jeanne Phillips, who has written the column since 2002.

DEAR ABBY: My husband and I relocated to Florida a little over a year ago and were quickly welcomed into our new neighbors' social whirl. Two couples in the neighborhood are gay -- one male, one female. While they are nice enough, my husband and I did not include them when it was our turn to host because we do not approve of their lifestyle choices. Since then, we have been excluded from neighborhood gatherings, and someone even suggested that we are bigots! Abby, we moved here from a conservative community where people were pretty much the same. If people were "different," they apparently kept it to themselves. I don't feel we should have to compromise our values just to win the approval of our neighbors. But really, who is the true bigot here? Would you like to weigh in? -- Unhappy in Tampa

DEAR UNHAPPY: I sure would. The first thing I'd like to say is that regardless of what you were told in your previous community, a person's sexual orientation isn't a "lifestyle choice." Gay people can't change being gay any more than you can change being heterosexual. From where I sit, you may have chosen the wrong place to live because it appears you would be happier in a less integrated neighborhood surrounded by people who think the way you do. But if you interact only with people like yourselves, you will have missed a chance for growth, which is what you have been offered here. Please don't blow it.

More than 30 years ago, Pauline said the same thing, but a bit more succinctly.

Christianists Attack Dear Abby

Beloved advice columnist Pauline Phillips, whose Dear Abby was the first place many of us read positive mentions of gay people, passed away last week at the age of 94.  Today Christianist and anti-gay World Magazine republished a 2008 "study" which concludes that Phillips dispensed "dangerous advice" on the issue of sexual morality.  The study only examined Dear Abby columns from 2007, long after Phillips's daughter had taken over.

According to the study, 36 columns addressed infidelity. Only 10 of those suggested breaking off an affair, or not getting into an affair in the first place. Abby even appears to condone adultery, as well as homosexual adultery. When "Confused in Illinois" wrote to Abby saying she had no interest in sexual relations with her husband because she was involved in a "passionate sexual relationship" with a female friend, Abby told her to "look at the bright side. At least you now finally understand what has been missing [in marriage]." The study also found Abby does not encourage sexually active teens to stop having sex, finds homosexuality morally acceptable, endorses same-sex marriage, and is permissive and perhaps even amused by traditionally objectionable sexual behavior such as cross-dressing. CMI concludes Dear Abby has dished out bad advice in more than 1,000 newspapers worldwide for well over 30 years. That tradition has only intensified since Jeanne Phillips took up her mother's metaphorical pen.

That 2008 study was the work of the Media Research Center, whose founder and president Brent Bozell appeared on Fox News in December 2011 to declare that President Obama looks like a "skinny ghetto crackhead."

Dear Abby Comes Out For MN Marriage

The Dear Abby advice column, which is now written by Abby's daughter Jeanne Phillips, yesterday came out against Minnesota's pending constitutional ban on same-sex marriage.

My mother, Pauline Phillips, the founder of the Dear Abby column, taught me as a young girl that when we are faced with a tough decision that affects another person, it is important to consider how we would want to be treated. No one would want to be told that it is illegal to marry the person they love, but that is exactly what this amendment would do. I was raised to believe that each and every one of us has intrinsic value. Excluding some citizens from their basic rights and freedoms because of who they are is wrong.

So please take my advice; VOTE NO on the marriage amendment in November - and please encourage everyone you know to do the same. Special interests who are trying to pass this amendment will pump millions of dollars into Minnesota. Minnesotans United for All Families needs your help to tell the truth about why this amendment is wrong. Please rush a donation today - before the October 13 midnight deadline - to help Minnesotans United meet their goal and defeat this hurtful amendment. Time is running out! Thank you for standing up for all families. Love is love, regardless of gender.

(Via Bilerico)

Friendly Voices: Dear Abby

Jeanne Phillips, author of advice column Dear Abby, is being honored this week by PFLAG for coming out in support of same-sex marriage. Phillips' mother, the original Abby, first brought PFLAG into the national consciousness in a 1984 column. PFLAG is giving Phillips their first ever "Straight For Equality" award.

Phillips took over for her mother five years ago when the now 89 year-old writer was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Last year she wrote, "Accepting the status quo is not always the best thing to do," she wrote. "Women were once considered chattel, and slavery was regarded as sanctioned in the Bible. However, western society grew to recognize that neither was just. Canada, Belgium, the Netherlands and Spain have recognized gay marriage, and one day, perhaps, our country will too."