Quote Of The Day - Fake Steve Jobs

From the online diary of Fake Steve Jobs:

Let’s move on and return to our discussion of hating the homos. Let him who is without sin cast the first stone? Ring any bells? Or how about this: Judge not, lest ye be judged? Oh, and here’s one that you even put on your own Manhattan Declaration document, which is ironic because you don’t seem to understand what it means and in fact what you’re doing is the exact opposite of what this statement intended: Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s, and to God what is God’s. In other words, do not become entwined with the state. Focus on the next world, not on this one. Or, to be more blunt: Stay the hell out of politics, you boneheads. If a state or federal government wants to marry gay people, that’s their decision. Leave it alone. Go say some prayers. [snip]

It’s bad enough that you’re hateful bigots. But to dress up your hate and bigotry as an expression of Christianity? That, my friends, is pure evil. If you want to go around hating people, fine. Go for it. It’s stupid, and pointless, but whatever. Go hate people. Just don’t go around saying Jesus told you to do it. So, listen up. You can’t put your bullshit in my app store. I’m sorry. But I won’t let you use my store to spread your hate. I don’t want any part in the spreading of your phony religion, either. There is no God. There is no heaven. There also is no hell, which is too bad, because if hell did exist, you would surely be spending eternity there, with red-hot pokers up your butts. And nothing would make me happier.

(Tipped by JMG reader Larry)

Fake Steve Jobs Hates The Pope

Forbes senior editor Daniel Lyons, the guy who was revealed last fall as the author of the blog The Secret Diary Of Steve Jobs , stepped out his usual mocking of Apple culture to write a post titled Pope Blast Media In Pathetic Attempt To Boost His Own Pageviews:

Well it's the oldest trick in the book. Want to get some attention? Bash the media. They'll all come running. Which is exactly what the pope is doing. See here. Pope Benedict XVIVIXXXMFCL has gone on a trolling expedition and issued a fatwa on the press, under the title, "The Media: At the Crossroads between Self-Promotion and Service." Pope says of the media that "in order to attract listeners and increase the size of audiences, it does not hesitate at times to have recourse to vulgarity and violence, and to overstep the mark."

Seriously? The Roman Catholic Church, sponsor of the Inquisition and weekly distributor of flesh and blood to millions worldwide, is wringing its hands about violence? Really? And they're also concerned about vulgarity? Really? Have you seen this dude's classy red shoes? For that matter, have you ever seen the Vatican? Or St. Peter's? These are the people who are lecturing us about vulgarity? A bunch of rich gay Italian dudes who raised zillions of dollars by swindling the world's poorest, dumbest people, then squandered the money building Liberace's dream palace in Rome? Oh, and they're also upset because we like to buy iPods and watch dirty movies? And because we don't care if gay people want to marry each other?

Dear Pope Benedict: Blow me, you prissy old queen.

Love it.

(via - By The Bayou.)