Thursday, November 27, 2014

Guest Post: Carl Siciliano

"We won't have a faggot in our house."

Those are the words M heard after his mother died of cancer. He was 16. His mom had loved and accepted him. But not his aunt and uncle. They took in his little brother, but left M to fend for himself in the streets.

M lived in a town in Florida that had no youth shelter. He and about 20 other homeless kids slept on the floor of an unlocked building in the town park. He used his knapsack with his school books and his toothbrush and deodorant inside as his pillow. Those were the good nights. The bad nights were when the police chased them out. On those nights he tried to sleep in an abandoned lot, hidden in the weeds. Those nights his allergies tormented him; his eyes and throat swelled, and he struggled to breath.

No matter what kind of night he had, M went to school every day. He did it to honor the memory of his mom, who said she would kick his butt in the afterlife if he didn't get an education. Despite the soul-shattering hardships he endured, he graduated at 18.

"As soon as I get the chance, I'm going to kill you, you fucking faggot."

Those are the words one of M's friends heard when he walked through the courtyard into the youth shelter where most of the beds for New York City's homeless youths are located. Despite local and federal regulations that mandate that youth shelters be in homelike environments with no more than 20 beds, NYC has crowded hundreds of kids into that shelter. Many LGBT kids report being bashed and harassed by the numerous gang members who stay there. M came to New York City after he graduated from high school, and tried to stay at there. But after being attacked too many times he ended up sleeping in the subways.

I met M the day he moved into one of the Ali Forney Center's homelike shelters after sleeping in the subways for six months. That was a really good day for M. He has had some wonderful days since; like the day he was accepted into college, and the day he got hired for his job counseling other teens. Those were good days for the Ali Forney Center as well, as have the been the joyful days in recent months when over 40 of our youths in our new job training program have been hired.

But we have had some really bad days. Since the federal sequestration and it's vast cuts we have lost about $1 Million in government funding. I have been struggling to pay our rents and our food bills, and keep our programs going. I don't sleep in a vacant lot, but I have had more than my share of sleepless nights worrying about the future of the Ali Forney Center.

But in the end I trust we will go forward. Our work of housing and protecting homeless LGBT youths must survive and grow. Too many of the LGBT kids we care for have endured cruelty, violence and contempt in their homes and in other shelters. Over 1,300 kids a year from across our country rely on the Ali Forney Center to provide a home where they are protected and accepted for who they are. I trust that our work will go on, because I trust in the goodness of our community. I was very frightened after Hurricane Sandy destroyed our drop-in center, and yet so many in our community showed me that they would stand by our us in our devastation. The sequestration is a different kind of storm, a storm made by cruel politics, not weather. But no less devastating, especially for the poorest, most vulnerable youths of our community.

I thank Joe, and all of the members of the JoeMyGod community for standing by us with kindness and generosity for many years. Once again, I ask that you stand by us and our youths in a difficult time. Happy Thanksgiving!

NOTE FROM JOE: I'd like to echo Carl's thanks to the JMG community. Carl gives a lovely shout-out to you folks every year at the Ali Forney Center's annual fundraiser, as so many of you have been so very generous over all these years. It's a wonderfully proud moment for me. If you are considering make a donation this year, you can do that here. You can also make donations on PayPal by using this email: mramos@aliforneycenter.org.

In addition, there's an AFC's campaign at IndieGoGo, where "perks" are awarded at various donation levels. The top donation level gets you lunch with famed Brat Pack actress Ally Sheedy, one of Ali Forney's most ardent supporters. Again, thanks so VERY much to all you. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, whether you celebrate with your biological family, or as Armistead Maupin famously calls it, your logical one.

RELATED: The Ali Forney Center's financial records are viewable here.

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Thursday, November 24, 2011

Guest Post - Carl Siciliano

The holiday season frightens me. It is the time of year our homeless kids are most likely to attempt suicide. Kids who have been cast out of their homes suffer badly during a season that celebrates and idealizes family togetherness.

Yesterday I met with a group of kids at our drop-in center in Chelsea. They were all out in the cold at night, waiting for beds to open up in our shelters. One boy, who is 16 years old, told me how everything went bad for him when he was eleven. His father demanded to know if he was gay and when the boy was honest, his father refused to speak to him for three years. His mother tells him that he is a mistake and that she wishes she never had him. He has been running away repeatedly since then. There is nothing to celebrate at his home. I had a hard time sleeping last night, wondering what he had suffered.

What a sick, toxic force homophobia is in our society, destroying homes, making parents turn on their own children. Tens of thousands of teens in our country have been forced out of their homes. An LGBT teen is eight times more likely to suffer homelessness than a straight teen. The religious and political leaders who promote homophobia are causing terrible human suffering. They lie when they say they are promoting family values.

The waiting list for our shelter beds skyrocketed in the last year. More than half the kids coming to us for help are from out of state. Most are from the red states. Even though we recently opened a new 20-bed shelter, we now have a waiting list of over 200 kids. In New York City there are only 250 youth shelter beds for a population of 3,800 kids, 40% of whom are LGBT.

I am haunted by the perception that these kids are paying the price for our victories. I believe that when there is a lot of conflict about gay rights, parents who give credence to homophobic religious and political leaders take it out on their LGBT kids. It is no coincidence that our waiting list grew more than ever before in a year that saw the overturning of Don't Ask Don't Tell, and the achievement of Marriage Equality in New York.

The fight for LGBT equality for adults is often a matter of changing laws. But for these kids, who have been made destitute by homophobia, it is a fight for resources. A gay teen may not be able to depend on their parent's love, but they should be able to depend on our community to protect them. We cannot allow them to be left out in the streets.We need to marshall our resources to provide for them, and demand that our tax dollars help to create a safety net for them.

At the Ali Forney Center we are doing our best to protect the kids. We now house 77 every night in eight different shelter and longer-term housing sites. We serve hundreds more daily in our two drop-in centers. We work especially hard during the holiday season to create a warm and joyful environment for the kids. We have Thanksgiving and Christmas feasts at all of our housing sites and drop-in centers. We bring together many people to help us with all the food and withassembling abundant presents for all the hundreds of kids. Honestly, making the kids feel as happy and loved as possible during this season can be a matter of life and death.

I am deeply grateful to the community of people surrounding JMG for your generosity to the Ali Forney Center. Over the past few years the appeals Joe has invited me to write have generated over $65K. On this Thanksgiving day, I give my thanks to all of you who have been so kind and caring.

I hope that you will consider continuing to support our work. Donations can be made online or can be mailed to:

Ali Forney Center
224 West 35th Street, Suite 1102
New York, NY 10001

Thank you!

Carl Siciliano
Executive Director
Ali Forney Center

NOTE FROM JOE: The Ali Forney Center rates highly per the Best Practices guidelines of Charity Navigator, which judges non-profits on how efficiently they handle their funding. Donations are tax-deductible.

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Sunday, March 20, 2011

Guest Post - Carl Siciliano

The Ali Forney Center has been joined by a wonderful ally in the effort to prevent Governor Andrew Cuomo's proposal to eliminate funding for homeless youth shelters in New York State. Change.org has taken on the struggle to protect LGBT youth from the devastating impact of Cuomo's plan and has posted this petition on their homepage and on their gay rights page, demanding that funds for youth shelters be restored in full.

I am reaching out to our community and pleading that we sign this, and make every effort to have our friends sign it as well. I think it is of critical importance that we send our political leaders a strong message that the LGBT community will stand up for its most hurt and violated youth. That we care their lives and their safety.

It is terrible to see the fear and anxiety that these proposals provoke in our kids. After going through the horror of being discarded by families who could not accept having LGBT kids, and then enduring the hell of struggling to survive on the streets, they have been through more suffering in their young lives than anyone should have to endure. When they are finally provided a home where they feel loved and supported, only to hear that it might shut down because of some politician's decision, it frightens them terribly.

Please help us protect them
. Please let Governor Cuomo and the New York State Legislature know that the LGBT Community cares deeply about the safety of it's most vulnerable children.

Carl Siciliano, Executive Director, Ali Forney Center

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Saturday, December 11, 2010

Guest Post - Carl Siciliano

It has been a rough holiday season for the Ali Forney Center.

The day after Thanksgiving I received an e-mail from the City of New York, informing me that due to budget problems, they were slashing their support for homeless youth programs, greatly defunding street outreach efforts and drop-in centers. Our drop-in support is being cut in half.

I prefer to talk about our housing programs, and the remarkable resilience that so many of our residents show in rebuilding lives that have been shattered by homophobia and family rejection. The realities we deal with in our two drop-in centers are harder and more brutal.

In New York City, there are 3,800 youths who sleep on the streets every night. Over 1,000 of these youths admit to being LGBT. There are only about 250 shelter beds for homeless youth in NYC, so the great majority are left stranded on the streets. LGBT kids from all over the country flock to our drop-in centers for the food, showers, medical care, mental health treatment and other forms of support we provide.

Our case managers work valiantly to help find shelter for these kids, but the reality is there are so few safe options for LGBT youth that we are often forced to advise them on how to survive while sleeping in places like subway trains, parks, abandoned buildings and construction sites as they wait for one of our beds to open up. Yesterday one of our case managers described spending the afternoon trying to find shelter for a girl who had just come to us. When his efforts were exhausted and he had to tell her that she would be out on the street for the night, she sat in his office and cried.

I hate what I see our kids going through. So many thousands of vulnerable kids being cast out of their homes for being gay, deprived of all family support, and forced to fend for themselves without the resources to survive. I hate the way the suffer violence and degradation on the streets, the way they get gay bashed in mainstream shelters, the way so many have to survive through prostitution. I hate seeing youth be so deeply traumatized.

This phenomenon of thousands of LGBT youth being thrown out to the streets by parents who will not accept them is the most terrible face of homophobia in our time. Is there is a greater wrong being perpetrated against our community? I do not understand why protecting our terribly violated and abandoned youth is not the top priority of the LGBT movement. I do not understand why our advocacy organizations are not fighting to make certain that our tax dollars are allocated to supporting these abandoned kids. It is a nightmare that there are so few resources to protect these kids.

With these budget cuts, our ability to provide our drop-in centers is jeopardized, but I am not willing to reduce what little support these poor kids have. The drop-in centers are the safety net for the kids out on the street and I cannot imagine closing our doors. We desperately need an outpouring of support from the community to keep our drop-in centers open. Please be as generous as you can in this time of trial and, please, see if you can persuade friends to help.

Online donations can be made by clicking here.

Checks can be sent to:

Ali Forney Center
224 West 35th Street, Suite 1102
New York, NY 10001

Thank You!

Carl Siciliano
Executive Director
Ali Forney Center

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Sunday, January 24, 2010

Guest Post - Bradley Carlson

Last Sunday I posted an article which claimed that gays are fleeing Miami Beach for Fort Lauderdale and other places. The article and its author Natalie O'Neill, who cited rising hate crimes as part of the reason for the exodus, have since come under some criticism both at home and here in NYC. O'Neill appeared on Michelangelo Signorile's SiriusXM show on Wednesday to discuss the article and the response. Below, JMG reader Bradley Carlson defends his adopted hometown.

Last week, the Miami New Times, a free local newspaper with a circulation of about 70,000, printed a cover story proclaiming that, in the wake of increasing hate violence, gays are leaving South Beach “in droves” and heading to “friendlier” Fort Lauderdale. My gay South Beach friends and I were stunned. Why didn’t we get that memo? What shocked us most is that the New Times got it so incredibly wrong. Not just wrong in terms of personal opinions about which place is better; their data were wrong.

The Miami New Times article wove a story of anti-gay violence that made it seem like homophobia in South Beach has reached epidemic proportions. Nothing could be further from the truth. The fact is, since gay people started migrating to South Beach in the 1980s, violent crime of all sorts has steadily declined. Nobody who spent time here in the 1980s and 1990s could honestly say they feel less safe walking the streets nowadays.

Contrary to the story spun by the New Times, Broward County, which contains Fort Lauderdale and the gayborhood of Wilton Manors, has a lot more hate crime than Miami-Dade. The Miami Herald's Steve Rothaus writes:
"According to Florida’s latest annual hate crime statistics, Miami-Dade County (including Miami Beach) reported 18 hate crimes total, including 4 based upon sexual orientation. Broward County (including Fort Lauderdale/Wilton Manors) ranks No. 1 statewide with 25 total hate crimes, including 9 based upon sexual orientation."
To put it another way, Broward County, with a population one quarter less than Miami-Dade, has THREE TIMES the incidence of anti-gay hate crime.

Let’s not pretend that Florida, legally and politically, doesn’t have plenty of problems with homophobia. Last year, Florida voters passed Amendment 2, a referendum that put anti-gay language relating to relationships into the State Constitution. Florida is still the only state in the country that bans adoption by gay people—although a court ruling is expected soon that could change that. But at the level of politics and public policy important to LGBT people, Miami-Dade, and Miami Beach in particular, leads Florida. In a state with more than its share of intolerant right-wingers, Miami Beach is an oasis.

If there was ever a story to be told about gays leaving South Beach, it was about 15 years ago, when real estate prices started rising and many of the gay men who’d moved here to either retire or party (or both) could no longer afford it. The real story today is that the environment for the LGBT community in South Beach is better than ever. We have one of the most pro-gay mayors in the country, a city commission that works actively to address LGBT issues, and we have recently had two openly gay city commissioners in succession. Significant progress has been made at the level of policy and politics, making South Beach one of the most progressive, tolerant and gay-friendly places in the country. And with housing prices coming back down to earth, it’s once again possible to buy or rent apartments at reasonable prices.

Just last week, Miami Beach passed a revised Human Rights Ordinance that strengthens enforcement of already existing human rights laws and adds protections for transgendered people, making Miami Beach’s human rights laws the most progressive in the state. Miami Beach residents have been able to register as domestic partners since 2004; in 2008 this benefit was extended to all of Miami-Dade County.

Fort Lauderdale, and heavily Republican Broward County, is quite different. Despite the fact that the small gayborhood of Wilton Manors (pop. 12,879) has an openly gay mayor and a lot of gay bars, the surrounding City of Fort Lauderdale is hardly a paragon of tolerance. Fort Lauderdale is the city that elected for six consecutive terms outspokenly anti-gay mayor, Jim Naugle who, along with his cadre of right-wing supporters, spent several months in 2007 using the non-issue of sex in public restrooms to scapegoat, stereotype and vilify local gays.

It is true that Fort Lauderdale has a greater number of self-identified gay bars than South Beach, but I hope we can all agree that there’s more to a community than its bar scene. During a typical South Beach winter, people South Beach—gay and straight—are busy with almost-weekly events, such as Art Basel, the Food & Wine Festival, Miami Spice, the Boat Show, the White Party, the Winter Party, the Miami Gay and Lesbian Film Festival, Art Deco Weekend, Miami Beach Gay Pride Weekend, Aqua Girl and the bi-weekly Lincoln Road flea market.

People who cut their teeth on Miami Beach’s gay scene in the 1980s and early 1990s often lament the closing of the great gay clubs Paragon, Warsaw and Salvation. But in their place, numerous and ever-changing gay nights and roving parties have sprung up, such as Buck 15, Crème Lounge and Martini Tuesdays. In the thick of South Beach, we still have the longstanding gay bars Score and Twist, the lounge bar Mova (formerly Halo), and the new Bar 721 which has taken over the former Laundry Bar space. And of course, there’s the oceanfront staple, the Palace, always a popular destination after a sunny Sunday on the gay beach. Another new bar, Azucar, is scheduled to open soon. There are a number of newer gay places just across the bay in Miami, such as Discotekka. From time to time, fun new parties pop up, like UUFF! at Newsbar, which had a several month run last summer and I’m told is being resurrected soon.

One of the best things about South Beach is that you can walk everywhere. The gay beach, Lincoln Road, the hotel strip on Collins Avenue, the Jackie Gleason Theater, Regal Cinemas, hundreds of restaurants and shops, and the gay bars are all within walking distance of each other—or, if you’re feeling lazy, a quick ride in an easy-to-find taxi. Soon, the new Frank Gehry-designed New World Symphony building will open, offering symphony and other cultural events in the heart of everything.

In Fort Lauderdale, if you want to enjoy the beach, Las Olas shopping, and the gay bars of Wilton Manors, you must have a car, since they’re separated by miles of (not-so-pretty) roads, which are often clogged with traffic during peak times. Not only does this add to the cost of a visit but more importantly, for drinkers, it means chancing a DUI, or worse.

When it comes to large-scale social and fundraising events, South Beach is the undisputed leader. South Beach hosts one of the nation's largest and most successful LGBT fundraisers, the Winter Party, which benefits the National Gay & Lesbian Task Force. Now in its 16th year, the Winter Party is an enormous beachfront dance party that draws approximately ten thousand revelers annually from all over the world. Miami also hosts the White Party at Vizcaya, the worlds oldest and largest HIV/AIDS fundraiser, which benefits Care Resources, an HIV/AIDS service organization. Miami also hosts the annual Miami Recognition Dinner, a large benefit that last year raised over $325,000 for the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force and the South Florida LGBT nonprofit organizations.

Last year, with support from the Mayor Matti Bower and the City Commission, Miami Beach resurrected its annual Gay Pride Parade, which drew thousands of mostly local residents for an all-day parade and festival on Ocean Drive. We also have an active Miami-Dade Gay & Lesbian Chamber of Commerce, whose membership includes over 600 gay-owned and gay-supportive businesses. On April 1, the Chamber, with support from the City of Miami Beach, is opening an LGBT Visitors Center in the heart of South Beach.

The truth is, South Beach and Fort Lauderdale both have their merits, and we all know that the biggest factor in one’s enjoyment of any place is the attitude they bring with them. Decisions about where to vacation and live depend mostly on people’s personal preferences, economics, and ties to friends. As someone who’s been coming to South Beach from New York City since the mid-1990s and in 2006 made it my primary home, I can tell you there is no exodus of gays. In my experience, falling hotel and condo prices have spurred an influx of gay folks like we haven’t seen in a long time.

Bradley Carlson, Miami Beach.

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Tuesday, June 03, 2008

Guest Post: Mark Kane
Where The Kissing Never Stops

Mark Kane, of The Mark Of Kane, guest blogging for JMG.

So, a while back I went to San Francisco, and all you people got was this lousy....wait, y'all got nothing. I didn't write about it.

I know. It's weird. I just wanted to keep it to myself for a while. Talking about it, I mean. Just to maintain the buzz; keep it a little precious, keep it mine. I'll explain later.

After my long dark season, it was just ever so slightly amazing to have all our travel plans unfold before us so smoothly. In our household(s), I'm the one in charge of travel arrangements. Mostly this has worked out just fine, in spite of a few mishaps and one major blow-out akin to W.W. III in a hideously post-modern hotel in West Hollywood, but that's another story. In this story, the limo picked us up right on time. The plane took off on time and even got us into San Francisco early. Our luggage arrived with us. Our cab driver did wonderfully until he left the freeway and made a right turn on Market Street instead of a left, but we straightened him out fast. It's not like we're tourists, or something.

We arrived at the convent formerly known as Beck's, checked in, and headed out immediately, as is our wont to do. I love walking up Market to Castro, noting what's changed, what's new, what's gone. All of our old favorite haunts were still in place, some having received a new coat of paint, and so after a nightcap or two, we headed back to our monastic cell and crashed.

We really didn't veer too much outside of our regular program of things we like to do in San Francisco. These include walking, shopping, drinking and meeting up with scads of handsome men. I'm very thankful for my many years of service given at the Dugout. Almost to a one, so many of the men we saw were people we've met in the past decade or so at the bar. Over the years, some people have taken to referring to me as The Dugout's Mayor. When people laughingly approach me and ask if I am the Mayor, I always reply: "Why, yes I am, and I hope I can count on your vote and future support!". In fact, Tim's been working there for over 10 years, and we've been hanging out there much longer than that, and so it would seem a pretty sad state of affairs if I hadn't actually met all the people I have.

We spent Friday, navigating downtown, visiting the California Historical Society and doing some shopping at Gump's and Old Navy. Tim napped and I hit the gym. We headed up to the Edge for yet another festive Friday after-work gathering, where we were greeted by our pal (from the Dugout) Bruce, who tends bar there. It's a merry room, full of happy handsome men ending their week in much the same way we did so many years ago, but no longer do. After a couple of drinks and much flirtation, I spy Bob (from the Dugout), who's stopped by on his way to Michael and Larry's (from the Dugout) house for a drink. I shamelessly ply him with bourbon; we hug and kiss as we catch up. Just out of sight, I can catch the sound of one of Tim's old friends complaining that I'm hanging out with "that beary boy" too much. Tim shrugs. I send Bob weaving up Collingwood to Michael's house and talk to the new bartender, as the shift changes. A fireplug of a man introduces himself as Henry. I smile and shake his hand, just as he leans in and sinks his teeth into my left pectoral muscle. Hard. I yelp as Tim walks by, surveys the scene, smiles and says "I think you could do much better!" I gingerly extricate myself, and follow Tim into the bathroom, where, over the trough, we decide it's time for dinner and a change of scene.

Saturday, we trolley down Market to Polk Street, and walk it's length to Russian Hill. There exists a plethora of shops we like to poke around in, though, like everything else in the world, it's changing too. We go to the Swan and Bob's, rituals we'd never forgo. We try on several garments at Johnson Leather; the gentle people who work there could not be more accommodating. I spy a really nice CPO-style jacket that Santa will be bringing to a very deserving man this year. We drop into Naomi's and afterwards have a Bloody Mary at the Cinch, so potent and chock full of garnish that it almost requires a knife and fork to consume.

With new found vigor we climb up the hill to Lafayette Park, only gasping a little at it's summit, to watch the white caps break on the bay. San Francisco is in full bloom, and I stop every three minutes to inspect flora such as I have never seen before. I'm never going there without a guide again (this one will do quite nicely, if you're of a mind!). Tim is very patient with me, and indeed, enjoys pointing out the houseplants gone mad that we see all around us. We can't look at the towering Jade trees without thinking of those poor dessicated plants in dusty McCoy cachepots that we both remember from our varied childhoods. After a brief rest, we walk the rest of the way back to the Castro, through Japantown, haunting the edges of the Fillmore and collapsing in our room.

The evening is spent having pre-dinner cocktails at 440 Castro, where the boys are amusing themselves by reciting the dialog along with Mommy Dearest, which is being broadcast on half a dozen monitors. This movie has always made me itchy. It's so poorly done, and by one of my-then favorite directors, Frank Perry. It looks cheap. It destroyed Faye Dunaway's career. The child who plays Christina is frightening, as is the adult that follows her, and who did the wigs in this movie? Mostly, it's a bunch of mean-ass one liners strung together with some frighteningly violent scenes. My friend Eric always refers to the wire hanger sequence as Kabuki Joan. Needless to say, we don't stay long, but wander the area, dropping into various bars at our whim until it's time for dinner. The weather turns very cold very fast and my teeth chatter as they haven't since I was a child. We think we'll have a night cap at the Twin Peaks, but the bar has been commandeered by a gentleman who is clearly under the influence of something that has made him a desperate dervish. He bounces from lap to lap, begging people to come home with him. It's our turn to head home, instead.

The following morning, we rise early and cross the street for a quiet and lovely breakfast at 2223. We're among the first people to be seated, and it's a pleasure to watch the dim, coppery room fill up with handsome people. I'm so relaxed I almost hate to leave. Instead, we board the Divisadero line on Castro and hop off at Haight, where Tim walks me past the men and the mansions of Buena Vista Park and all the way to Amoeba Records. In the past, I've been so in awe of this temple, I walk out empty handed. Not so this time. I filled a basket with things I had to have, and two hours later paid just under $60.00 for a pile of music I'm still exploring. Tim loses himself in the extensive jazz and vocalist section, and even lucks out with a bargain priced sinister-looking Johnny Cash box set. Sated, we decide to take Stanyan Street back. Astute Tim points out the huge and handsome Victorian house that appeared for years on all of Rod McKuen's Stanyan Street records, and I could just hug him. We head up into the hills, admiring the groves of eucalyptus trees towering over our heads and the beautiful houses we pass. At 17th Street, we climb until the City and points beyond are completely laid out at our feet. Better than church, I tell you. We check out all the little staircases that abound in this area, stopping to admire the prehistoric plants that grow everywhere. I point out the turn, where just a year or so ago, Tim and I spent a morning dreamily exploring the Vulcan Steps and Saturn Street Stairs. We mosey downhill towards the Castro again, stopping at Medium Rare for some "good soul choices", as the proprietor once said of my selections. This time, I'm studying the galvanized box that contains Jerry Bonham's "Remember The Party". The shopkeeper asks if I'd like to see a copy of the play list, and I have to admit that I own the set, courtesy of a great friend, and listen to it frequently. He seems impressed.

We work our way down to the Eagle later, to continue our Sunday worship services. My old pal Doug is at the bar, and the patio is filled with friends: Stephen (the Dugout), Noah (ditto), and many others. We don't stay long at the Eagle these days; the collision of so many diverse tribes makes for a sometimes uneasy afternoon. This afternoon it's a group of gentlemen who seem to have engaged in either a riotous powdered paint pigment war or some arcane occult ceremony. Dreading the messy and inevitable contact, we head instead over to Bear Central and immediately find Guy (the Dugout) and his partner, Mark, and Chris (the Dugout) and so many others. Much hugging, drinking and general merriment ensues. At some point, Tim tells me that he's got to stop kissing guys who are standing around the peanut barrel. His allergy is kicking in and his lips are tingling. In the midst of all the fun, I am noticing the condos that tower over both patios at the Lone Star and the Eagle and know that there will be trouble ahead with both due to newest group of marauding Yunnies (Young Urban Narcissists, don'tcha know) that are invading our once crumbling turf again. We kiss all our friends, old and new, one last time, and bundle into a taxi and home.

The following day, we hike through Chinatown to North Beach, past the Italian restaurants, pausing only to watch the birds and the Tai Chi people in Washington Square. As Tim explains the meaning of the barnyard animals and angels that solemnly protect St. Peter & Paul's, we climb, climb, climb up Filbert Street to the top of Telegraph Hill, only to catch our breath before we trot down the Greenwich Stairs to the Embarcadero. We share a sandwich with some seagulls, leaning on a railing over the Bay.

Our last day is always sad. Both of us would like to be here permanently. But it would be very hard to extricate ourselves from our middle-aged lives here and re-settle. I have an elderly parent. We both have great long-standing real estate deals here, unmatchable in San Francisco today. It's like spending a week in the paradise of your choice, knowing that time grows short, the meter's ticking. We love the pace of this city; its decidedly unflashy demeanor. We long to be a permanent part of it's citizenry, knowing that it most likely will never come to pass.

I can see us growing old here.

So we dream.

And return every year.

Next year, if the Gods allow, we'll go twice!

- Mark Kane.

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Monday, June 02, 2008

Guest Post: Eric Leven
Self-Destruction And Meth: An Ongoing Problem

Eric Leven of KnuckleCrack, guest blogging for JMG.

Hell I've even said it a few times myself, or maybe just hoped it, "Yeah I don't hear much about Meth anymore. The message is definitely out there so I guess people are finally listening."

I say this despite having lived in LA for two years which taught me that more people are casually using Meth than I thought. I say this despite the fact that I've seen a few friends continue to "recreationally" use even after losing a friend- or friends- in some way or another to Meth. I say this despite the fact that a close friend of mine tried to persuade me that there's doing Meth and than there's doing Meth. To me, doing Meth and doing Meth has always been same thing since nobody begins using Crystal Meth with the hopes they will become an addict.

So why are we still using meth? The answer has to be deeper- it has to go beyond wanting to feel good, or wanting to party or wanting to be uninhibited during sex. There has got to be something within our core, something strong enough that causes us to disregard all the warning signs, all the cautionary tales, and all that we've heard, seen, felt or whomever we've lost. So what it is it then? Can anybody say? Because the truth of the matter is: we all know meth is a terrible, toxic drug yet people who work in the Crystal Meth prevention world haven't seen any decrease in the number of people seeking help from it.

The NY GLBT Center recently held a forum entitled: "Meth Movie Night: Is the Meth/Sex/HIV Problem Over for Gay Men in New York?" and according to the article in Gay City News, "judging by the the comments from the audience and panelists, the answer was an unambiguous no."

Forum: Meth Still a Problem

Speaking at a town hall meeting, filmmaker Jay Corcoran asked, "Why are gay men of all different types and ages still self destructing?" Corcoran, whose 2007 documentary "Rock Bottom" followed seven gay men as they struggled with crystal meth, was addressing the roughly 50 people who turned out on May 20 at the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Community Center.

"What I couldn't believe is that after everything we have gone through as gay men is that really nothing has changed since the '80s," he said. "It filled me with rage. It made me want to pick up my camera."

With an audience filled with former meth users, others who are recovering from sexually compulsive behavior, and some who are dealing with both, much of the two-hour event was taken up with men discussing their personal struggles with meth or sex and their efforts to end behaviors they are uncomfortable with.

The event was titled "Meth Movie Night: Is the Meth/Sex/HIV Problem Over for Gay Men in New York?" and, judging by the comments from the audience and panelists, the answer was an unambiguous no. Opening the evening, Dr. Frank Spinelli, a physician in private practice, described four of his patients who were dealing with meth. Some were occasional users and others were what he called "functional addicts."

Addiction specialists from the Community Center, the Gay Men's Health Crisis (GMHC), the Addiction Institute of New York, and the AIDS group Positive Health Project (PHP) also spoke. These groups offer harm reduction programs, which aid users in abating the negative effects of drug use without requiring that participants stop using, or abstinence programs in which users stop using. Some, like the Community Center, offer both.

Gay men who use drugs tend to use more than one and that makes the work of these groups more complicated. For many gay men who drink or use drugs, their sex and social lives are entwined with their drinking and drugging. "Some men are quizzical how are they going to meet other men if they give up drinking or using drugs," said Chris Cochrane, GMHC's coordinator of prevention services for gay men and men who have sex with men.

The groups also work in an environment in which public funding for such services is increasingly being cut and some Americans, gay and straight, favor law enforcement approaches to drug problems. "I'm astounded by the lack of resources that are out there," said Terry Evans, PHP's public health outreach coordinator. "We are also dealing with a public climate that believes that certain people are not worth it." Antonio Ruberto, a crystal meth prevention counselor at the Center, said, "There is a dire need for additional money and resources."

While he has not seen a reduction in the numbers of gay men seeking help for meth, Joseph Ruggiero, assistant clinical director at the Addiction Institute, thought the various anti-crystal campaigns have had an impact. "I feel like, as a community, people have a better sense of what is happening around crystal meth," he said. "The word is certainly out there more than it was before and that word has been strong and very controversial."

The evening's most heated moment came when Robert Brandon Sandor, producer of the sex party Brandon's Poz Party, said the problem was HIV not crystal meth. "I guess crystal meth is going to be the flavor of the month tonight," he said. "I can look you all in the eye and say you're wrong." Sandor, whose party caters to gay men who are HIV-positive, is a proponent of serosorting, or the practice of organizing sex partners by their HIV status. His comments were not well received in a room filled with former meth users and those still battling against the drug.
As audacious and bold as Robert Brandon Sandor's comment was, I have to say I can't help but think he might be onto something. Until reading this article, until seeing that quote I never put the two together- that crystal meth lends a hand in helping us forget, at least temporarily, that we live in a time of the incurable sexually transmitted disease, HIV. Maybe that's what it is? Maybe it is just that which pushes us beyond the warnings, dangers and examples and into using meth with a shrug, or a smile, or a sigh, or a slam. Who is to say? Who is to argue him?

Is it so far-fetched to think those who choose to use meth, despite the ubiquitous dangers, do so because it helps us forget who we are, the time we live in, the risks associated with sex and helps us become the uninhibited, sexually charged, sexually relaxed, sexually empowered people we so yearn to be?

Below a clip from Mr. Jay Corcoran's film: Rock Bottom



- Eric Leven.

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Guest Post: Bil Browning
Would That Be BitingTheHandThatFedMe.org?

Bil Browning of The Bilerico Project here, guest blogging for JMG.

Bob Dole has decided to let all hang out. The former presidential candidate made public an e-mail he sent to former White House Press Secretary Scott McClellan after hearing details of McClellan's new tell-all book. I'm just going to go out on a limb here and guess that he's off the Bob Dole Christmas card list.
Scott,

There are miserable creatures like you in every administration who don’t have the guts to speak up or quit if there are disagreements with the boss or colleagues. No, your type soaks up the benefits of power, revels in the limelight for years, then quits, and spurred on by greed, cashes in with a scathing critique.

In my nearly 36 years of public service I’ve known of a few like you. No doubt you will “clean up” as the liberal anti-Bush press will promote your belated concerns with wild enthusiasm. When the money starts rolling in you should donate it to a worthy cause, something like, “Biting The Hand That Fed Me.” Another thought is to weasel your way back into the White House if a Democrat is elected. That would provide a good set up for a second book deal in a few years.

I have no intention of reading your “exposé” because if all these awful things were happening, and perhaps some may have been, you should have spoken up publicly like a man, or quit your cushy, high profile job. That would have taken integrity and courage but then you would have had credibility and your complaints could have been aired objectively. You’re a hot ticket now but don’t you, deep down, feel like a total ingrate?

BOB DOLE
I love it how Bob Dole's name is in all capital letters. Bob Dole would never be obsessive about Bob Dole's own name, would he? At least he didn't say, "In Bob Dole's nearly 36 years..."

McClelland was reportedly paid $75,000 for his tome. A White House staffer referenced the Bible (*gasp*) in response by telling the media, "Ironically, in today's dollars that amount is worth exactly 30 pieces of silver."

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