How Does A Pirate Get To Work?

You know what today is.

RuPaul Trolls Download Pirates: Girl, You Don't Want To Pay A Bitch? Fuck You!

RuPaul is fighting the pirating of her new album, Born Naked, by posting fake versions to BitTorrent in which she disses music stealers with hilarious rants. Via Gizmodo:

Every single track on the album features RuPaul admonishing would-be pirates for not paying up. The decoy version of "Freaky Money" starts off with 30 seconds of what sounds like the build-up to a crazy dance track, when all of a sudden the music fades to the background and RuPaul interjects: "Girl, you just stole my album!" What follows is two minutes and 30 seconds of free association and sass from the drag superstar. It's pretty special. The decoy leak is a creative strategy for adapting to some of the unfortunate realities of digital music to your benefit. Artists should pay attention, and start doing a little trolling of their own.

Listen to one of the spoofed tracks. (Tipped by JMG reader Jeff)

Headline Of The Day

Details. (Via Towleroad)

British ISPs Ordered To Block Pirate Bay

The British government has ordered the nation's internet service providers to block access to Pirate Bay, which is arguably the most notorious site for trading bootlegged copies of movies, music, and television shows.

The block, starting within weeks, will mean millions of Britons will no longer be able to access one of the biggest and longest-running global filesharing sites. The high court order provoked criticism from internet advocacy groups, who likened action against illicit filesharing websites to other forms of online censorship. Jim Killock, executive director of the Open Rights Group, said: "Blocking The Pirate Bay is pointless and dangerous.It will fuel calls for further, wider and even more drastic calls for Internet censorship of many kinds, from pornography to extremism. The order to block The Pirate Bay – requested by the major music groups, represented by the British Phonographic Industry – comes as authorities and courts have tightened the net on illicit downloading sites, which film studios and music majors claim are responsible for billions of pounds in lost revenue.

Rupert Murdoch On SOPA

TODAY: Internet Blackout

As you've no doubt noticed by now, many major websites have gone dark today in protest of a proposed bill which would hold social media, search engine, and other sites financially responsible for piracy committed by users. Google is taking part by blocking its logo and offering a link to information about the bill.

The Most-Pirated Movies

(Source)

Pirate Train

Today is Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Eugene Delguadio: Radical Homosexual Pirates Are Running Wild In Tampa!

Eugene Delgaudio, the self-titled Public Advocate of the United States, writes us today with the news that radical homosexual pirates were running amok at last month's annual Gasparilla Festival in Tampa.

The event is a full two weeks of seemingly family oriented events, with parades and treasure hunts around the city. But in recent years Radical Homosexuals have been intent on turning it into a two week alcohol fueled display of public debauchery. Organizers started by purposefully making the parade route zig-zag so no one could call it a “straight parade." Word is that Radical Homosexuals have infiltrated as event organizers to promote homosexual events that are designed to prey upon unsuspecting college students by enticing them to join their “krewes” and help build parade floats in exchange for free alcohol. When the young men are sufficiently intoxicated, homosexuals dressed as pirates whisk them away to God knows where to take advantage of them sexually. There are even countless stories of any number of immoral sex act being performed by open homosexuals - some even in broad daylight during the event.

As entertaining as Delgaudio's missives always are, they are not, as some of you have speculated, mere satire. He is a real life elected public official in Virginia and one of the most famously loony tunes anti-gay activists in the United States.

Gay Actors: Stop Pirating Our Movies

An unusual plea from Wolfe Video.

Why Are Pirates So Hot?

A: They just arrrrrrrrr.

You're. Welcome.

September 19th: International Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Gay Porn Company Sues BitTorrent Users

As part of the industry's continuing crackdown on piracy, gay porn outfit Lucas Entertainment has filed lawsuits against 53 users of the peer-to-peer file-swapping network BitTorrent. Lucas is asking the users' ISPs to disclose their names and addresses.

The time between the alleged infringement and the filing of the federal lawsuit was amazingly short: three or four days. The infringements were detected on August 5-6, and the Lucas lawsuit was filed on August 9. In addition, the company has already asked the judge to force ISPs to respond to subpoenas in 15 days or less. Clearly, speed is an issue. The suit also claims the copyright infringement here was "intentional," which opens the door to much higher statutory damages that top out at $150,000 per infringement. More defendants will be added to the case before it's over. Lucas suggests that "information obtained in discovery will lead to the identification of additional infringing parties," and its ongoing "monitoring" may contribute more names, too. These sorts of schemes generally rely more on settlement letters than actual trials to collect the cash, however; something that may be doubly true when gay porn is the issue.

JMG tipper Davecool notes that the final sentence of the story implies that Lucas feels that "gay porn shame" may force faster settlements.

3.1415% Of Sailors Arrrr Butt Pi Rates

Today is International Talk Like A Pirate Day. Let the bad jokes fly. And since it's also Rosh Hashanah, points for the talking like a Jewish pirate. Happy New Yarrrrr.

Commence.

(This post appeared briefly yesterday because I misdated it.)

Pirates Arrr Saving The World

A few years ago the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster proved conclusively that global warming was being caused by a decrease in the number of pirates. Since pirates are back in strong numbers now, I guess we can all go back to our planet-destroying ways. Bless his Noodley Appendage!