World's Most Successful Scam Artist Dies

Pioneering televangelist Oral Roberts has died.

Evangelist Oral Roberts died today in Newport Beach, Calif., due to complications from pneumonia, according to a news release from OralRobertsNews.com. His son, Richard, and daughter, Roberta, were at his side, the release said. The founder of Oral Roberts Evangelistic Association and Oral Roberts University was 91. There will be a private family internment. Arrangements for a public memorial service in Tulsa are pending and will be announced soon. “Oral Roberts was the greatest man of God I’ve ever known,” Richard Roberts said in the release. “A modern-day apostle of the healing ministry, an author, educator, evangelist, prophet, and innovator, he was the only man of his generation to build a worldwide ministry, an accredited university, and a medical school. “

In addition to claiming that God spoke directly to him every day, this multimillionaire scam artist also performed faked healings for hundreds of thousands of deluded saps who promptly handed over their meager life savings. In 1987 he told a worldwide television audience that unless they sent him $8M immediately, God would "call him home." The money arrived shortly. Plus an extra $1.1M. Later that same year his son (and eventual successor) claimed that he'd seen his father raise a child from the dead. More millions arrived shortly. In 1998 a whistleblower was forced off Oral Roberts University's board of regents after he revealed that its founder led a lavish Beverly Hills lifestyle, including owning a $17M mansion there.

Oral Roberts will be laid to rest in a platinum coffin lined with gold and encrusted with precious gems as his multimillionaire heirs reverently light thousand-dollar bills in his memory. Praise His Name!

UPDATE: Pam Spaulding points us to this clip of Pastor Roberts ranting about gay sex. It's actually pretty funny. "Go on. Go on and touch it. Go ahead, girl! Touch him on the most sensitive part of his body."

FTC Suing Robocall Telemarketers

Remember when I grumbled about getting 20 calls a week from scamsters claiming that my car warranty had expired? The FTC is finally suing the fuckers after NY Sen. Chuck Schumer complained that he had been getting the calls during meetings on Capitol Hill.

In two related complaints filed in federal court on Thursday, the FTC said it was taking action against the promoter of the phony extended auto warranties, as well as the telemarketing company that it hired to carry out its allegedly illegal campaign. The FTC filed complaints against four companies and a handful of individuals related to their operations. "This is one of the most aggressive telemarketing schemes the FTC has ever encountered," said FTC Chairman Jon Leibowitz. The agency, which helps prevent fraudulent and deceptive business practices, said the robocalls have prompted complaints from consumers who are either on the "Do Not Call" registry or asked not to be called. According to the agency, five telephone numbers associated with the defendants have generated 30,000 complaints. If consumers answer the call, a "warranty specialist" would mislead them into believing their company was affiliated with an auto dealer or manufacturer and try to sell a service contract between $2,000 and $3,000, according to the FTC. The seller of these false warranties allegedly took in more than $10 million as a result of the phony service contracts.

The FTC is seeking to freeze (and hopefully, seize) the company's assets.