Stocking Stuffer

It's called the Silencing Slider:

Each Gorge Ohwell Silencing Slider is an artisan crafted censorship device that is ergonomically designed to comfortably plug even the loudest of burger holes. Made of soft and non-toxic natural food grade silicone rubber, the gag has no unpleasant plastic smells or odors. Give the Gift that Keeps on Gagging. Comfortable, ergonomic design. Local sourced and crafted.

Fifty bucks. (Tipped by JMG reader Ed)