Sunday, January 18, 2009

Leather Limericks

I forgot to post a short story yesterday, but in honor of the MAL brouhaha, here's a few leather limericks I posted here in 2004.

Slave wrote of his love and his pride
At being seen on the town by Sir's side
He wrote of chance and of fate
And of finding love late
Sir's one word response: 'Unsubscribe'

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Top9 planned it all in advance
This time he'd leave nothing to chance
He packed handcuffs and rope
But he should have packed soap
His trick, you see, was from France

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Two Sirs at the bar talked of whether
They should tie the knot wearing leather
Would they wear matching caps?
Could the priest be in chaps?
Should they lead their sub in on a tether?

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Two tall hairy cops from New York
Went to meet a hot piggy at Pork
Much to their distress
He walked in, in a dress
Just like that swan thing on Bjork*

*This really happened.

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Saturday, January 17, 2009

Wingnuts Win, Doubletree Hotel Cancels MAL Party

Apparently due to pressure from Peter LaBarbera of the Americans For Truth About Homosexuality, the Doubletree Hotel in DC has reportedly canceled tonight's sex party to be held in conjunction with Mid-Atlantic Leather. I can't confirm this independently at the moment, but several JMG readers have reported getting emails from the party's organizers announcing the cancellation. LaBarbera has another post up on his site describing the harassing phone campaign conducted against Doubletree management by he and his followers, but hasn't announced his "win" at this writing.

If you are attending MAL this weekend, please be on the alert for LaBarbera as he tends to skulk around the host hotels at these events and take pictures of unsuspecting revelers to post on his site. He is particularly fascinated with the retail booths selling SM/BD/fetish videos. If you see him, whip out your cell phone and email his photo to me at JoeMyGod@gmail.com. I'll post it here so folks know what he's wearing and what he looks like at the moment.

UPDATE: Pam Spaulding has the cancellation email:
MAL Maneuvers CANCELLED

As many of you know, extreme Christian groups have been pressuring Doubletree to cancel the "Obama Inauguration Pig Sex Orgy." For two days, the hotel stood firm while the accusations and falsehoods kept coming in. Just this morning, I told the management of Doubletree how impressed I was that they resisted the calls to shut us down. Unfortunately, the matter escalated to Doubletree Corporate, and the word has come down that they will not allow our event to go on as planned. To say that I am pissed would be an understatement. We have a right to privacy and sexual freedom. I appreciate the efforts of the Centaurs in helping us set this up and fight the cancellation. I want to apologize to each of you who, some who have been with me for 9 years, for having to disappoint you at the 11th hour.

In addition to the phone campaign against the Doubletree, Matt "Bam Bam" Barber of the Liberty Council contacted the DC Dept. Of Public Health and the Washington police, both of whom promised to investigate.
"It's appalling that the Hilton Doubletree Hotel chain is apparently so beholden to the mighty dollar that it would facilitate - in banquet rooms used by the public - a homosexual orgy boasting some of the most vile sex acts imaginable. Despite initial denials by the hotel manager, I and other sources have verified with the hotel's "Sales and Catering" and "Reservations" departments that, unbelievably, the hotel is in fact planning to go forward with the 'gay' orgy.

"It's simply inexcusable that the Doubletree would place at risk the health of its staff and future guests by facilitating this orgy in rooms where food is served," continued Barber. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention statistics establish that men who have sex with men suffer infection from various forms of communicable disease, such as Hepatitis and HIV/AIDS, at an astronomical rate. Lower income hotel staff will be tasked - ostensibly under penalty of job loss - with cleaning up the various forms of potentially infectious biological waste left behind.

"I have therefore notified the Washington D.C. Department of Health about the planned Doubletree orgy. The representative I spoke with was stunned and told me that the matter would be immediately investigated. I also notified the Washington Metropolitan Police Department, which will be looking into possible criminal violations should the Doubletree go forward with the event."
UPDATE: I've been forwarded excerpts from postings to an online kink forum in which there was a lot of anger about the party's "discretionary" door policy, which some felt was discriminatory against those perceived by the organizers to be unattractive. That sort of velvet rope (or leather, in this case) attitude is quite common for these events, but it's a fair assumption that LaBarbera was tipped off about the party by someone angry about the "you, you, NOT you" door policy. In his initial post, LaBarbera claims to be been told about the party by a "homosexual insider."

UPDATE II: LaBarbera declares victory.
Folks, we are ecstatic to report that the vile homosexual ‘pig sex’ orgy that Doubletree Hotel Washington staffers were denying was even scheduled to occur at their hotel — and which AFTAH exposed to the world — has now been cancelled by its perverted organizers. This is a great victory for truth, decency and public health! Yes, the good guys win one for a change, and Americans For Truth is vindicated (lies coming from the hotel had many people confused). A big “Thanks” to each of you who called the Doubletree and its parent company, Hilton Hotels, urging them to not allow this unbelievably depraved and unhealthy homosexual event to occur in public conference rooms at the Doubletree, a luxurious hotel just blocks from the White House. We learned that thousands of concerned Americans called to complain in response to our reporting and follow-ups by WorldNetDaily.com, Liberty Counsel’s Matt Barber (an AFTAH Board Member), and other conservative websites.
Again, please take a good look at LaBarbera's photo at the top of this post if you are in DC. Print it out, pass it around, put in on flyers. Do not let him photograph you or your friends. If you see him, announce his presence LOUDLY to everybody around you. Alert the conference organizers and hotel security immediately. Take HIS photo and email it from your phone to me here at JoeMyGod@gmail.com and I'll put it up at once so everybody knows his outfit and which direction his comb-over hangs today.

[Photo Credit: Michael Petrelis, from his confrontation with LaBarera at SF City Hall last year.]

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Wingnuts Demand End To MAL Sex Party

Well, this was inevitable. Thanks to Porno Pete LaBarbera and his endless enthusiasm for and attention to the sex lives of leathermen, wingnut sites such as Free Republic and WorldNetDaily are lighting up today over LaBarbera's ::shocking:: finding that there will be a sex party during Mid-Atlantic Leather. Which, you know, is totally our coming communist dictator's doing.

From the WorldNetDaily story headlined "Pig" Sex Orgy Set For Inauguration Week:
A homosexual "pig sex" orgy has been planned at a Washington hotel just as the traditional inaugural party season – this year honoring President-elect Barack Obama – is beginning, according to a Christian group that ministers to homosexuals. The report comes from Peter LaBarbera at Americans for Truth about Homosexuality, who obtained the information via e-mail from a source within the homosexual community. The e-mail warned that only people on the e-mail list and the "pre-approved" would be admitted.

"This Maneuvers is a PRIVATE and INVITATION-ONLY event. It will be held at the nearby Doubletree Hotel, located at 1515 Rhode Island Avenue NW. Go to the Second Floor, which is where all the Convention Rooms are," said the instructions. The e-mail came from the Fort Troff "MAL Maneuvers" organization, according to AFTAH. "We've now got a KILLER line up of DEMOS, including super skilled rope bondage, sounds play, and flogging. LIVE Music and Sound is gonna be provided by THE BLACK PARTY DJ Rich King. So you can s---, fist, rim, and [f---] TO THE BEAT."

Among a variety of features were "a bondage cross," "a flogging station" and "rimming stations." LaBarbera said the references to "fist" and "rim" refer to specific homosexual behaviors, which he explains graphically on his website. "Doors open at 10 p.m. and will close at 12 midnight. No admission after 12. Play continues until 4am. …" said the e-mail. The requirements, AFTAH said, included, "Masculine, friendly, and ready to play. Spectators who wanna run their mouths and socialize are not welcome at this event. We are here to enjoy the company of MEN." The online Urban Dictionary defines "pig sex" as "outrageously dirty such as water spots, defecation, male on male bondage, group-sex and bestiality," although there was no indication that this event would involve animals.

LaBarbera said the hotel confirmed MAL Maneuvers has booked three second-floor conference rooms for three days, which starting with Saturday night's events would culminate on inauguration day, Tuesday. The hotel offered a discount for rooms for people attending the events. "These repulsive behaviors should not occur in private, much less in conference rooms at a hotel used by the public," AFTAH's warning said.
LaBarbera has posted the phone numbers of the involved hotels and their parent companies and the sites are calling for their readers to deluge management with complaints and demand that the hotels revoke reservations.

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Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Obama Spokesman: The President-Elect Will Not Be Attending Mid-Atlantic Leather

Somebody at ABC figured out that the Obama inauguration happens a couple of days after the 25th Annual Mid-Atlantic Leather (MAL) Weekend in DC and wondered if the President-elect would be dropping by.
Thousands of tourists pouring into Washington, D.C. for President-elect Barack Obama's inauguration will be sharing the nation's capital with a few thousand predominantly gay leather fetishists, in town for their annual convention. Next January 16th, 17th and 18th brings the 25th annual Mid-Atlantic Leather Weekend to Washington, D.C. Hosted by the city's Centaur Motorcycle Club, "a group of men with an enthusiastic interest in motorcycles, leather and other men," the event is expected to draw between 2,000 and 3,000 attendees, according to spokesman Larry Barat.

Obama's swearing-in on Tuesday, Jan. 20, is expected to draw between 500,000 to four million people. Many will likely arrive the weekend prior to sightsee and attend inaugural balls and other parties. A spokeswoman for Obama said the president-elect would probably not attend any of the Leather Weekend events. "Let's just say it's likely the president-elect will be occupied with many other activities" surrounding the inauguration, said Linda Douglass. Leather Weekend attendees wearing their gear in public may provide visitors in town for the inauguration with something to talk about back at their hotel, but in general inauguration planners say they don't expect the overlap to be an issue.
The MAL spokesman says he expects attendance to be down somewhat this year due to the lack of available hotel rooms.

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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

MAL 2008 Recap

Here's a few pics from MAL 2008, including some from the puppy play party that you've been clamoring for. The guy with the rope in his mouth wasn't wearing all the gear that the other puppies were, but he was the most fun one to watch, maybe because we could see his face. Method acting.

I don't do many of these leather events anymore - I haven't been to IML since 2000 and this was my first MAL in five years. With the advent of puppy play and a few other burgeoning fetish scenes, these events make me feel super-vanilla. You're standing there listen to a group of guys chatter excitedly about what they might wear to the underwear party and you think, "Oh. I didn't bring any "show" underwear." Not that I have any. And when I told somebody that I wasn't wearing chaps because I'd "outgrown" mine, he suggested that everybody should keep around a pair of "fat chaps". Well, I've definitely got a pair of fat jeans. Somebody else floated the concept of Sansa-belt chaps. Shudder.

So aside from hanging out in the lobby of the host hotel, I pretty much skipped all the events, including the pageant itself, even though I was rooming with Mr. Fire Island Leather 2007. And that title wasn't handed to him on a silver platter. He worked for it. (Anyone? Anyone?) Here's a brief clip of the dance floor of the closing party Reaction Dance at 9:30 Club. As with my Saint NYE video, the audio is totally borked.

I had a great time at the Reaction Dance, although the evening started out with the usual gay disco coat-check disaster when the upstairs coat-check became full and closed abruptly, sending the livid crowd (who'd been already been waiting 45 minutes) downstairs to wait in another long line. Ooh, people were screaming.

DJ Warren Gluck, who I hadn't heard since the ill-fated and one-time-only Los Angeles Morning Party in 1998, was great. I forgot to bring my notepad, but here's a short list of what I can recall Gluck playing: Frankie Goes To Hollywood - Welcome To The Pleasure Dome, The O'Jays- Love Train, Ram Jam - Black Betty, Chimera - Show Me Heaven, Sunscreem - Outlaw, and the classic anthem of Hillside Campground, I Just Wanna Fuckin' Dance.

On the way into the party, a carload of black girls spotted this guy waiting in the line and pulled over to scream, "Work them heels, bitch! WORK 'EM!" The gentleman in question turned around and and said, "I beg your pardon?" Totally cracked up everybody in line. A great moment. And he totally has the legs for the outfit.

All in all, it was a great weekend. Even though I'm definitely far on the periphery of the "scene", I was surrounded by dear friends at all times. And what more can you ask than that?

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Sunday, January 20, 2008

MAL-Content

I've been in DC for a few days for Mid-Atlantic Leather. The list of theme parties over the weekend is long and varied, but so far I've mostly been hanging out in the lobby of the host hotel and watching the shenanigans. Yesterday's schedule featured a "puppy play party" in the hotel bar, where a dozen men in rubber body suits and doggie masks rolled around on the carpet, sniffed each other's butts, and growled and fought over chew toys while their masters stood to one side and chatted about leash training. I love my people.

I think I was the only one to notice that the puppy play took place as the hotel's sound system pumped out Air Supply's Every Woman In The World. I'll have pics later, hopefully, if the hotel ever squares away the crappy wireless signal.

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