TRAILER: Fifty Shades Of Grey

Via Rolling Stone:

The first trailer for Fifty Shades of Grey has arrived in all its scintillating, hyper-sexualized glory. Though if you're hoping for a montage of steamy footage from the boudoir and/or BDSM dungeon, you'll have to settle for a fleeting few snippets at the end. Still it's got plenty of exposition, if that's what you're into. The trailer, which premiered on Today, opens with the demure Anastasia Steele's first encounter with the high-profile business magnate Christian Grey. Set to Beyoncé's slower, gothic new version of "Crazy in Love," the clip tracks the couple's burgeoning love affair as Grey (Jamie Dornan) alternately seduces Steele (Dakota Johnson) with his mysterious charms and lavish lifestyle, and tells her "You should steer clear from me" and "I don't do romance." Such titillating mixed messages!

Headline Of The Day

Whoa.

Happy Lube-N-Tines's Day

You wouldn't think a lube ad could be sweet.

(Tipped by JMG reader WNYRAY)

Linguistic Factoid Via Dan Savage

Details.

Now Available: Kosher Lube

A group of rabbis in California have certified a line of lube as kosher for Orthodox Jews.

The US-made Wet range of lubes now has eight lines that have been given a religious stamp of approval, including its "Ecstasy" product. This means that rabbis from the Rabbinical Council of California have inspected Wet's 52,000 sq ft production plant and researched the origins of every ingredient to check none comes from items prohibited by kosher rules. As with many great innovations, the lubricant resulted from personal motivation. Sean Smith, president of Trigg Laboratories, which produces Wet, converted to Judaism after marrying a Jewish-Israeli woman.

And why does lube need a kosher certification, while other products such as sunscreen and moisturizers do not? Because lube could be swallowed.  (Tipped by JMG reader Kevin)

STUDY: Sex Keeps You Younger Looking

According to a British study:

“My message is that lovemaking is good,” Dr. David Weeks told the British Psychological Society. Former head of old age psychology at the Royal Edinburgh Hospital, Weeks said he spent a decade prying into the private lives of thousands of men and women of all ages. Weeks found that sexual pleasure is a “crucial factor” in preserving youth.

How? Lovemaking releases the human growth hormone, which helps keep the skin elastic and thus less likely to wrinkle, he said. Sex also released endorphins, which are the body’s feel-good chemicals and natural painkillers that ease anxiety and make it easier to sleep, Weeks added. Nookie boosts blood circulation, which is good for that heart and gives skin that healthy glow, the good doctor said. Finally, sex burns fat and releases other chemicals that bolster the immune system, he said.

Now we know why JMG readers look so great. You hussies.

Global Internet Porn Habits

Visit this interactive map and mouse-over the states and countries to discover the top porn search terms for each region.  The top ten in Texas: teen, MILF, creampie, college, amateur, massage, POV, hentai, anal, ebony. In almost every other state "lesbian" is in the top ten.  The Czech Republic's list is...interesting.

Graph Of The Day

Source.

Oral Sex Taste-Masking Strips

Product description:

Masque is similar to Listerine® strips in that they are both dissolvable oral strips. The similarities end there. Masque actively conceals the salty, bitter, and protein flavors associated with pleasuring your man. We’ve found that a vast majority of our customers love or like the Masque flavors. As with anything (chocolate cake vs. vanilla ice cream), some people like certain flavors better than others. Masque is currently available in Mango, Strawberry, Watermelon and Chocolate. Each has a hint of mint which is intended to prevent tasting that occurs in your nasal passages.

Three strips sell for $9.99. (Tipped by JMG reader Adrienne)

Open Thread Thursday

How's your love life? Bitch, boast, or shrug.

Gay.xxx Domain Sells For $500K

Pink News reports:

The internet domain name gay.xxx has been sold for half a million dollars. Although the .xxx extension is not yet open for public registration, the gay.xxx address was bought by Corbin Fisher, one of the world’s biggest gay porn producers. It is the highest amount ever paid for a domain name before the extension is publicly launched. The extension .xxx is owned by ICM Registry and is aimed at the adult industry.

KY Ad Targets Lesbians

(Source)

Intercourse The Penguin

According to a pastoral letter issued by Archbishop Michael Miller and the Canadian Conference of Catholic Bishops, the only kind of fucking that is holy is vaginal procreative fucking. No blowjobs, no butt sex, please!

Married people living chastely can have vibrant sex lives. In the relationship between a man and a woman, chastity helps them love each other as persons rather than make each other an object of pleasure or satisfaction. Despite what the media and Hollywood suggest, the value of sexual intercourse does not lie in recreation, or physical gratification. Any physical pleasure should lead toward the ultimate expression of love between husband and wife, the total self-giving of one person to another. Sexual intercourse in marriage can be so intimate that it becomes an emotional, intellectual, physical and spiritual experience. It strengthens and completes the bond of marriage. That is why the sexual act has to be unitive and procreative and why some kinds of sexual activity are not chaste. Though pleasure may be present, some acts are a misuse of sex when they fall short of what God intends.

Maggie will be so pleased!

Maggie Gallagher: Ladies, Butt Sex Is The Wrong Way To Please Your Man

"Anal sex is painful, unsanitary, unsatisfying for women, and creates unique risks for serious physical diseases (if you doubt me, go read the Wikipedia entry on the subject) because the anus is not designed for sexual intercourse, increasing the risk of torn flesh and the intermingling of bodily fluids -- blood, semen, fecal matter -- that can spread an astonishing variety of diseases. The female partner is far more at risk than the man in these encounters. This should be a feminist issue. But women are doing it to please their boyfriends. Because we have created a sexual culture that empowers young males (even as it stunts their incentives to grow to become successful, confident and happy family men) and disempowers women." - Maggie Gallagher, in a Real Clear Politics column against abortion.

Out Magazine Releases Sex Survey

Out Magazine has issued its first-ever sex survey of its readers. The sample size is small, 1000 people, and the results are only indicative of folks who read Out, not the LGBT population as a whole. Still, there's some interesting factoids such as the above.

Poppers May Damage Your Eyes

From a little-noticed October story in the New York Times:

In a letter to The New England Journal of Medicine, the ophthalmologists describe four cases over three months in which patients’ vision was affected after they used poppers at parties. Several complained of seeing bright dots of light, and retinal imaging revealed damage to the photoreceptors in the fovea, part of the retina that is responsible for the sharp central vision needed for driving or reading. Two of the patients’ vision returned to normal over time, though their retinas may still have sustained damage, the doctors said. In one, a 27-year-old woman, the impairment persisted for at least a month. The damage may occur because nitric oxide affects photoreceptor function and metabolism, the doctors said.

Doctors say the problem is probably very underreported.

Top Ten Cities For Sexy Time

Another day, another meaningless list to chew on. Men's Health has ranked 100 U.S. cities for a list called "Hotbeds Of Sex." Cities were ranked based on "condom sales, birthrates, sex toy sales and rates of sexually transmitted diseases." Here's the top ten.

1. Austin, TX
2. Dallas, TX
3. Columbus, OH
4. Durham, NC
5. Denver, CO
6. Indianapolis, IN
7. Arlington, TX
8. Oklahoma City, OK
9. Bakersfield, CA
10. Houston, TX

That's an awful lot of Texas. NYC is way down at #73.

Quote Of The Day - Christina Aguilera

"I love giving my male friends advice. And when I need advice myself? I go to my gay guy friends. They're very understanding and they are often coming from the same perspective. Who's better at giving advice, gay or straight guys? Well, that depends on the advice you're looking for. If it's bedroom-related, my gay friends are the best. They just lay it out there!" - Christina Aguilera, speaking to Cosmopolitan.

Aguilera's movie with Cher, Burlesque, opens on November 24th. It will be her acting debut.

Size Matters

Salon reports that Turkish researchers have concluded that longer sexual stamina is correlated to increased body weight. But the reason that bigger dudes last longer may not be that sexy (for some).

Men with excess body fat last longer in bed. In fact, heavier men were able to make love for an average of 7.3 minutes, while slender men could count themselves lucky if they held on for a mere 108 seconds. The reason? Female hormones. Men with excess fat showed higher levels of the female estradiol sex hormone. This substance apparently disrupted their bodies' natural "male" neurotransmitter chemicals and slowed their progression towards orgasm. Ironically, the less masculine their bodies appeared, the better lovers they proved to be.

Expect this story to dominate the tabloids for a few days, but be aware that the study only involved about 200 men.

TORONTO: Gay Bathhouse Closes To Become Heterosexual Bathhouse

Toronto's oldest gay bathhouse, Club Toronto, has closed to become an "upscale swinger's club," the fancy name for a straight bathhouse.

On April Fool’s Day, a hand-written note appeared on the red door of Club Toronto reading simply, “Closed forever.” It was no joke. After 37 years as a bathhouse, the large brick house at Mutual and Carlton streets is being gutted to make way, according to the landlord, for an upscale swingers’ club. When it opened in the summer of 1973 as the Club Baths, it offered a unique blend of sexual and social interaction for gay men. “It was a great place to be in the 1970s and ’80s,” says former regular Freddy Strickland, a retired meat inspector. “It was my home away from home — movies, saunas, meeting interesting people and relaxing in the whirlpool. It was one of the most important places for me then.” “What many people don’t realize was that for many closeted gay men, Club Toronto was as much social-psychological refuge as it was a place to get off,” says Rick Stenhouse, who worked at Club Toronto in 1973.

Read the above-linked story for a fascinating retelling of the infamous 1981 raid of five Toronto bathhouses, in which over 300 gay men were arrested.