VIDEO: The Big Reveal

White Smoke At The Vatican

Stand by for the name of the Next Top Pedophile Enabler. After party at the Vatican-owned bathhouse! First fifty cardinals get in free! Pick up your altar boy gift bag at the door!

Sanjaya And Fantasia Both Eliminated In Third Round Of Vatican Idol

No Winner In Vatican Idol First Round

Tweet Of The Day - Conclave Chimney

Papal Conclave Begins

The Vatican Owns A Bathhouse

Delicious.

A day ahead of the papal conclave, faces at the scandal-struck Vatican were even redder than usual after it emerged that the Holy See had purchased a €23 million (£21 million) share of a Rome apartment block that houses Europe’s biggest gay sauna.

The senior Vatican figure sweating the most due to the unlikely proximity of the gay Europa Multiclub is probably Cardinal Ivan Dias, the head of the Congregation for Evangelisation of Peoples, who is due to participate in tomorrow’s election at the Sistine Chapel.

This 76-year-old “prince of the church” enjoys a 12-room apartment on the first-floor of the imposing palazzo, at 2 Via Carducci, just yards from the ground floor entrance to the steamy flesh pot. There are 18 other Vatican apartments in the block, many of which house priests.

From the sauna's website:

Behind this door an exciting and comfortable world is waiting for you... A place created by males and for males only. A place where you will forget about stress, uncertainties, fears and enjoy the priceless pleausre of beeing yourself! Here you will find: king turkish bath, finnish sauna, giant whirlpool, waterfall whirlpool, relaxation rooms with videos, gym with Tecnogym equipments, cinema, aesthetics - solarium - massage, parties - shows - surprises, music therapy e aromatherapy, chromotherapy, EMC Cafe' open non-stop!

Papal Conclave Begins Tomorrow

Over one hundred men in elaborately embroidered quinceañera gowns will begin voting on their new head cheerleader tomorrow.  Boston's Cardinal Sean O'Malley is now being named as one of the favorites.

O’Malley has emerged as a popular favorite in some circles, even as many still doubt the princes of the Roman Catholic Church are ready to elect an American. O’Malley led a poll of a half-dozen Vatican experts in the influential daily Corriere della Sera on Saturday, as well as a separate reader poll the paper published online Sunday. O’Malley’s brown habit, signifying his Capuchin Franciscan order’s simplicity and solidarity with the poor, has helped him stand out. So has his fluency in Spanish and connection with Hispanic communities, lending him an international appeal. And he is recognized as one of the church’s most effective leaders in dealing with clergy sexual abuse.

New York's Cardinal Timothy Dolan is considered to be the only other American with a shot at the jewel-encrusted golden throne.  The new emperor should be named by Friday.

Spot The Fake Bishop

That's him on the left.

Ralph Napierski, a self-appointed bishop from an apparently fictional order called Corpus Dei, managed to get through a checkpoint manned by Swiss Guards but was stopped before entering the Paul VI Hall, where the cardinals were gathering. Dressed in fake bishop’s vestments, complete with a purple sash, Mr Napierski smiled to photographers as he mixed with more than 140 cardinals from around the world as they filed into the hall to discuss the challenges facing the Church and possible “papabili” or papal candidates. He said that he was a member of the “Italian Orthodox Church”, which does not exist, and said the Catholic Church had made grave errors by allowing priests accused of child abuse to move around different parishes.

Vatican To Investigate Cardinal O'Brien

O'Brien has already confessed and resigned, so one presumes the investigation will be aimed at rooting out all of his victims.

The Congregation for the Doctrine of Faith, the Vatican council charged with confronting major transgressions by clergy, will likely launch an investigation into Cardinal Keith O’Brien once the new Pope is chosen. The Catholic Church in Scotland has been plunged into crisis after the Cardinal admitted in a brief statement on Sunday evening that allegations against him from three current priests and one former clergyman that he sexually molested them had some substance. After initially threatening the journalist who broke the story with legal action, O’Brien admitted in his weekend statement that his sexual conduct “had fallen below the standards expected of me”.

The investigation likely won't begin until after the new emperor is placed on the jewel-encrusted golden throne.

HomoQuotable - Peter Tatchell

"The Cardinal is a troubled man. I pity him. He needs counselling to help him deal with his decades of deception, and to come to terms with his obvious self-loathing and deeply repressed homosexual desires.  O'Brien's statement falls well short of what we would expect from a spiritual leader. He has failed to apologize for the hatred and harm he caused the LGBT community. I urge the Cardinal to show true remorse for his homophobia and hypocrisy by saying sorry to the LGBT community for the hatred and harm he has caused - and by publicly repenting his homophobia. He should make amends by dropping his opposition to marriage equality and by beginning a new gay-affirmative ministry to LGBT Catholics." - British activist Peter Tatchell on the confession of Cardinal Keith O'Brien. (Via Gay Star News)

BBC News On Cardinal Keith O'Brien

The Scottish journalist who broke the story believes there will be more revelations to come.

Cardinal Keith O'Brien Confesses: Yes, I Was Totally Nailing All Those Priests

"In recent days certain allegations which have been made against me have become public. Initially, their anonymous and non-specific nature led me to contest them. However, I wish to take this opportunity to admit that there have been times that my sexual conduct has fallen below the standards expected of me as a priest, archbishop and cardinal. To those I have offended, I apologise and ask forgiveness. To the Catholic Church and people of Scotland, I also apologise. I will now spend the rest of my life in retirement. I will play no further part in the public life of the Catholic Church in Scotland." - Cardinal Keith O'Brien, in a statement released today.

RELATED: Last year the British LGBT rights group Stonewall named O'Brien their "Bigot Of The Year" after he denounced marriage equality and compared gay relationships to slavery and child abuse.

CLAIM: Vatican Knew Five Months Ago About Cardinal O'Brien's Gayness

The Scotsman reports an interesting claim today.

The Vatican knew of allegations against Cardinal Keith O’Brien five months ago, it was claimed today. Reports said a priest lodged a complaint in October about “inappropriate behaviour” by the former Archbishop of St Andrews and Edinburgh in 2001. The priest is said to have written directly to Rome because he did not think he could trust the church hierarchy in Scotland to handle the matter.

His claim is said to have been taken seriously and led to the Vatican contacting Cardinal O’Brien and a “deal” being brokered by Cardinal Marc Ouellet of Montreal for the departure of the leader of Scotland’s Catholics. Cardinal O’Brien quit as archbishop on Monday following revelations at the weekend about allegations from three other priests and one former priest of inappropriate behaviour dating back to the 1980s. The cardinal contests the allegations.

This is the fifth priest claiming to have had sex or "inappropriate contact" with the Cardinal.

Let's Have A Papal Kiki

Read the ballots.

(Tipped by JMG reader Bill)