Franklin Graham: God Will Strike Obama's White House With Lightning For "Arrogantly Flaunting Sinful Behavior"

"A lot has changed in three short years! Just three years ago, the President was on record as holding to the biblical definition of marriage. Now he can't say enough about his support for the LGBT agenda—and right after the Supreme Court’s decision to legalize same-sex marriage, he had the gall to disgrace the White House by lighting it up with the gay pride rainbow colors to celebrate. This is arrogantly flaunting sinful behavior in the face of Almighty God. My advice? He might want to have some extra lightning rods installed on the roof of the White House." - Franklin Graham, posting yesterday to Facebook.

Pope Ratzi: This Year Is 2019 Not 2012

Pope Palpatine has issued a book declaring that the birth of Jeebus is off by several years.

"The calculation of the beginning of our calendar – based on the birth of Jesus – was made by Dionysius Exiguus, who made a mistake in his calculations by several years," the Pope writes in the book, which went on sale around the world with an initial print run of a million copies. "The actual date of Jesus's birth was several years before." The assertion that the Christian calendar is based on a false premise is not new – many historians believe that Christ was born sometime between 7BC and 2BC. But the fact that doubts over one of the keystones of Christian tradition have been raised by the leader of the world's one billion Catholics is striking.

Many people, of course, don't believe that Jeebus was ever born at all and is actually a composite figure fictionalized from multiple earlier savior mythologies.

Paraskevid​ekatriapho​bia

Today's the day for such sufferers.

Marriage: According To The Bible

(NSFW source)

Catholic Church: We Need More Exorcists

More than fifty Catholic bishops and priests are in Baltimore this weekend for a training event on how to perform exorcisms.

Signs of demonic possession accepted by the church include violent reaction to holy water or anything holy, speaking in a language the possessed person doesn't know and abnormal displays of strength. The full exorcism is held in private and includes sprinkling holy water, reciting Psalms, reading aloud from the Gospel, laying on of hands and reciting the Lord's Prayer. Some adaptations are allowed for different circumstances. The exorcist can invoke the Holy Spirit then blow in the face of the possessed person, trace the sign of the cross on the person's forehead and command the devil to leave. The training comes at a time when many American bishops and priests are trying to correct what they view as a lack of emphasis on the Catholic teaching about sin and evil after the Second Vatican Council, the series of meetings in the 1960s that enacted modernizing reforms in the church. Many in the American hierarchy, as well as Pope Benedict XVI, believe that the supernatural aspect of the church was lost in the changes, reducing it to just another institution in the world.

Other Crazy Things Americans Believe (Besides Obama Being A Muslim)

Via Matt Yglesias at Think Progress.
Yglesias notes that 73% of Americans believe at least one of the above items, while only 27% believe none of them.

Thirteen Month Old Baby, Broke The Lookin' Glass

Eight is considered a lucky and "auspicious" number in China and that's why the Olympics will begin on 08/08/08 at 8:08:08PM local time. Just so you know. "When you believe in things you don't understand, then you suffer..."