Has The Quilt Run Its Course?

There's an interesting story about the AIDS Memorial Quilt in today's New York Times that speculates on the enduring value of the quilt in a day when its message may have "lost its punch". The quilt's caretaker organization, the Names Project, has been mired in infighting and lawsuits for years now and the bulk of the quilt is slowly deteriorating in storage in Atlanta.

The current size of the quilt is six city blocks, several times larger than its last complete public display in 1996 (pictured), which my friends and I flew from Florida and California to attend. Protease inhibitors had just become available and even while walking those hallowed rows of grave-sized panels, there was a palpable sense of optimism in the air.

When I lived in Fort Lauderdale, my boss was the chair of the Florida chapter of the Names Project and he was always shuttling around the state from one display to another. At these displays there were usually donation jars set up, so that visitors could contribute to the costs of storing and shipping the panels, no small amount when the number of panels in a single display could number in the hundreds. My boss would bring the donation jars into the office so that our accountant could count up and bind the cash and checks for deposit.

After a well-attended exhibition at the Palm Beach County Jewish Senior Center, the visitors had been particularly generous and as it was late in the day, I offered to help the accountant count the donations. Looking across a pile of money, Jon stared at me for a second and said, "OK, I'll do the cash. Why don't you do the checks?" He pushed a large pile of personal checks at me. I gathered them up and returned to my desk with the donors register, which the Names Project used to record the names and addresses of contributors.

As I began the laborious process of recording the names, addresses and amounts, I couldn't help noticing the memo line on one of the checks. "For my son, Adam." The check was for $20. My throat clenched up. The next check: "I miss my Ronnie." $10. A couple of checks later: "For my grandson, Michael." $25. I turned on the radio and tried to become more mechanical in my movements. Name, address, amount. Name, address, amount. But I kept finding my eyes returning to the memo line. I couldn't stop myself. "In the name of Ben Johnson, our son." "Daniel Berg. 1965-1995." And on and on.

I only got about 50 of the 200 or so checks recorded, when I came across this notation: "Mama misses you so much." $10. I slammed the register shut, put the checks on top, and walked back the accountant's office. I pushed the door open and said, "Jon, um...listen, I'm sorry but I can't finish this right now. I'll get to it in the morning, cool?" Jon looked over the top of his glasses at my red, watery eyes and gave me a slow, understanding nod, "Yeah, sure Joe." I turned to walk out and he added, "Why do you think I said I'd do the cash?"

The AIDS Quilt is the most powerful memorial in the history of gay culture. If it has "lost its punch", I really don't know if that's a good or bad thing.

BOTTOM RIGHT: My former boss' quilt for his father, Dr.Valeriano Suarez. Sewn to the quilt is a teddy bear wearing surgical scrubs.

Florida To Consider Gay Rights Law

Florida lawmakers have been presented with a bill that would outlaw anti-gay discrimination in employment, housing, and public accomodations. Two legislators from liberal oasis Boca Raton, working at the behest of the Palm Beach County Human Rights Council, introduced the bill to the state Senate and House of Representatives.

As regular readers know, I am from Florida, where like most U.S. states, it is perfectly legal to fire someone for being gay, except in the scattered cities and counties where local laws prevent it. (Key West, Miami Beach, Wilton Manors, as examples.) Additionally, last year the CEO of one of the largest hotel chains in the country withdrew his support when the mayor of Orange County, home to the one of the largest hotel-based economies the world, pledged to support equal housing laws for gays, a law which has yet to pass there.

I'll be following this story closely. Of course, if our new Congress were to pass ENDA, these sorts of state-level legislative efforts would be rendered moot. A new trans-inclusive version of ENDA may be presented to Congress this year. ENDA came within one vote of passing in 1996, the last year it was presented for voting. Things are looking very good for ENDA in 2007.
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25 Year Flashback:Top 5 Albums Of 1982

Since we're on an oldies roll today, here are the Top 5 albums of 25 years ago and my foggy memories thereof.

1. Asia Asia - Self-titled debut album from the schlocky proggy rock supergroup comprising members of King Crimson, Yes, Emerson Lake & Palmer, and The Buggles. Asia produced three forgettable hits. The double-dumbass video for Heat Of The Moment (#1 US,#47 UK) can still make me cringe.

2. Go-Go's - Beauty And The Beat. Critical darlings and homo favorites, Go-Go's would implode after only three albums, but it was a sweet ride while it lasted. Beauty produced the 1981 hits We Got The Beat (#2 US) and Our Lips Are Sealed (#20 US, #47 UK). It was the first album that was written and performed by an all-girl band to reach #1. (Who else has done this?) Every white girl in the country copied Belinda's dance. (Also: gay men.)

3. Foreigner - 4. I was not and remain no fan of the sort of colorless stud-rock of the time, which Foreigner personified. That said, "4" produced a couple of great singles: Urgent (#4 US, #47 UK) and Waiting For A Girl Like You (#2 US, #8 UK). I used Waiting in my slow-dance set back when I was a baby DJ.

4. John Cougar - American Fool. His last pre-Mellencamp release, I remember buying this album to satisfy a rockist boyfriend of the time. I think my copy hit the dustbin about 20 seconds after the boyfriend did. The album contained the bearable Hurt So Good and the unforgivable Jack And Diane. Here's a little ditty 'bout - oh fuck. I apologize for reminding you of this. Sincerely.

5. J.Geils Band - Freeze-Frame. This album actually got a lot of play in teh gay clubs. Flamethrower was a hit 12" single (#12 Club Play). J. Geils will always be most remembered for the goofy paint-splattering video for Freeze-Frame (#4 US, #27 UK), and for Centerfold, which was the biggest hit of the band's career (#1 US, #3 UK.) and which always sent me diving for the station buttons.

I now return you to the 21st century.
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Tweakends.org

Tweakends.org, a new collaborative website from APLA and GMHC has been launched to combat the crystal meth epidemic.

From the press release: AIDS Project Los Angeles (APLA) and Gay Men’s Health Crisis (GMHC) today announced the launch of tweakends.org , an online resource to help gay and bisexual men better understand crystal meth and how it impacts physical, mental and sexual health. Tweakends.org builds on both agencies’ growing portfolio of resources and programs confronting widespread use of the drug in gay communities.

The site features an interactive “drag and drop” feature by which users can ask a series of questions of a crystal ball to receive information about reducing risk, accessing health resources and connecting with other community members. The information provided is a combination of up-to-date medical language, candid talk and humor to engage visitors and inspire their thinking about use of the highly addictive drug.
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Homoblivious

Today's Word Of The Day over on UrbanDictionary.com is "homoblivious": Not having the ability to recognize homosexuals as being homosexuals; a lack of gaydar. Example: "He was so homoblivious that he didn't know that guy was coming on to him." Everybody got that?
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It Must Be IRS Day

I get tons of PR materials from publicists, but this one I had to put right up, as Belinda is so adored by Teh Gays. I'm gonna try and get to this thing. And holy crap, it's been over 25 years since Beauty And The Beat!

UPDATE: Carlisle's complete new album, Voila, is streaming live here. Check out her take on La Vie En Rose. It's as camp as Christmas! As gay as pink ink! I'm totally plotzing in anticipation of the remixes. Purchase here.
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Roooooxxxxanne!

The Police are reuniting after 23 years to perform at the Grammys. I am unreasonably pleased by this. Back in 1978, I considered that I had personally discovered The Police, plucking the 45 single for Can't Stand Losing You / Dead End Job out of the import bin at Orlando's Record City. I was drawn in by the photo of Stewart Copeland hanging with a rope around his neck, a space heater slowing melting the ice he was standing on. That blew my 19-year old mind.

I'll admit that the loping reggae of the A-side Can't Stand Losing You was disappointing to my punk-obsessed self, but the full-on punkness of the B-side Dead End Job made me pick up Outlandos d'Amour when it followed a month later, and I was hooked. (Trivia: Police Brutality was the original title for the first album.) I saw The Police in concert for the first time that fall at Great Southern Music Hall for $8 and I still have the ticket. They had such a small reportoire back then, for their encore they had to perform Roxanne a second time. The Grammys are February 11th.
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Death Bowl

The city of Miami is planning to host a huge party in the Orange Bowl upon the death of Fidel Castro. And then everybody is loading onto small boats and in a massive reverse-Mariel, they'll retake their homes and businesses in Cuba. It's only been 50 years or so. Everything should be right where it was left. At least, that's what I always heard when I lived in Florida.
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Vista

So who's got Vista already?
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Cervical Vaccine Might Work For Males

The vaccine against human papillomavirus (HPV). which was approved for girls by the FDA last year, might work to prevent anal cancer, for which gay men have an elevated risk. The European Union has already approved the vaccine for use on boys ages 9-15. Considering the outrageous campaign by the American religious right to keep the vaccine from young girls, I imagine that it will a bumpy road getting the vaccine available for boys as well.

The FDA has not yet approved the vaccine for use in males in this country, but doctors here may administer it "off-label" upon request. The vaccine's manufacturer, Merck, is doing a study on its effectiveness against anal cancer, using a cohort that has a large number of gay men. (It was difficult to find gay men eligible for the study because most already have HPV.)

Gay men develop anal cancer about as often as women developed cervical cancer before the advent of the pap smear. Anal pap smears are recommended for gay men over 50. It is estimated that 95% of HIV positive gay men already have HPV, versus 65% for those HIV negative.

Should this vaccine prove effective in males, it will be very important for all of us to advocate strenuously for its speedy approval and its routine, widespread delivery to American boys, which doubtlessly the religious right will fight with 100 times the fervor with which it fought against it being available to girls.
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Today's Solemn Vow

By the many arms of Vishnu, I swear that I will never wear a Bluetooth earpiece. Can you hear me now? Good.
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Straight To Video

I've been enjoying some great new tunes over the last week, but I still can't stop playing those Logo reality show gay twin Jehovah's Witnesses, Nemesis, whose Number One In Heaven is one of the sweetest slices of pure pop I've heard in ages. However, the video for the song leaves me scratching my head, as it features the brothers pawing and canoodling with girls. What gives? A remix of Number One In Heaven is currently #18 on Billboard's dance chart.
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HomoQuotable - Mike Jones

"A couple of ladies cried when they were touching me. I was thanked for exposing the church, for helping Ted Haggard. A couple of them said they hoped I get God into my life. And they all said 'God bless you,' every one of them." - Mike Jones, recounting his warm reception upon his visit to Ted Haggard's New Life Church.

UPDATE: Mike just told me he'll be on MSNBC's Rita Cosby Show today at 2:30PM, Eastern.
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From The "That Was Fast" Department

Author and editor Ted Gideonse is pursuing his PhD in Anthropology and has just submitted this au courant paper: "So if you're a fag, He hates you, too: Donnie Davies, the phenomenology of gaydar, and the feminist call for parody."

"Davies" is a professional comedic actor. His parody of a “reformed homosexual” and Christian bigot, possibly unknowingly, does exactly what Weiss and Butler desire: subversion, disruption of performance, a “[recognition and affirmation of] the power of individual agency in the construction of, deconstruction, and reconstruction of the very terms of corporeality.

And later...

Effeminacy, then, except when done deliberately as camp, as it often is in Western gay culture, is an unconscious habitus-like movement, mimicry of “feminine” behavior. Once they reach adulthood, most gay men are keenly aware of how their behavior is interpreted. In order to pass, we will consciously sublimate whatever seems to be feminine in our movement and our speech; we become “the I that moves forms movement.” This constant policing of our behavior makes us particularly observant of effeminacy in others. Hence “gaydar.

Fascinating stuff. Read the paper here.
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Overheard At The Dugout

Man On Cellphone: Oh, Jesus! Well, if it is gunshots, don't sleep in the front bedroom!
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Txt Msg Bk

The world's first all text message novel has been published in Finland. (First review: "SUX!". ) Finns apparently have a real passion for text messaging, their Prime Minister was widely ridiculed for breaking up with girlfriend via text message. I guess he didn't know that u cnt txt mssg brk up.
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Moscow Pride Bravely Goes Forward

Organizers have announced that Moscow Pride will take place this year. Yesterday Moscow Mayor Yuri Luzhkov called gay people "satanic" and vowed that he will not allow any celebration to occur. Last year's event turned violent when skinheads and other protesters showed up and were allowed by police to attack marchers. The head of Moscow Pride, Nicolas Alexeyev, was among many arrested. The lawyer for Moscow Pride, Dmitri Bartenev, has previously said he will take their case to the European Court Of Human Rights. Moscow Pride is scheduled for May 27th, the anniversary of the 1993 decriminalization of homosexuality in Russia.

UPDATE: The lawsuit has been filed with the ECHR.
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Morning View - Central Park Apple Store

Eddie took this shot yesterday when he and I accompanied the Farmboyz to the Apple store on the corner of Central Park. The Farmboyz were in search an upgrade. Aren't we all? As he always must, Eddie had to ride the glass elevator that travels one floor down from the street level. The store was a madhouse, but the Farmboyz managed to collar a floor clerk immediately. The clerk interrupted Father Tony's question to point at me and say, "You look familiar." Father Tony said, "Oh, maybe you read his blog." The clerk shook his head. "No, I'm pretty sure I know that one from out on the party circuit." Ruh roh.

"Davies" Exposed As Actor Joel Oglesby

Thanks to the sleuthing of Dallas JMG reader Bob Stoller, "Pastor Donnie Davies" has been exposed as Dallas-area actor Joey Oglesby (First name corrected from post headline). Here he is. Joey Oglesby recently appeared in a production of Debbie Does Dallas: The Musical. Joey Oglesby is a former member of the Chicken & Pickle Guys sketch comedy duo.

Finally. Our long national nightmare is over. I tip my hat to Joey Oglesby and his crew for a fun diversion. Now we can go back to worrying about the war! I'll post the behind-the-scenes details and the reason for all this drama, as soon as I know it.

NOTE: I left Oglesby's first name incorrect in the post headline because this URL has already been widely linked. My apologies. His first name is JOEY.

UPDATE: I've exchanged a few emails with Oglesby and he is swearing that he is not Donnie Davies. I've asked him for a statement to publish here.

UPDATE II: I don't know why I didn't think of this earlier, but somebody has reserved the domain ChopsTheMovie.com. What say you, oh sleuths of teh intarwebs?

UPDATE III: Here's a YouTube comedy clip called "Date", featuring Joey Oglesby.

Now that this is finally settled, I'll have to say I thoroughly enjoyed the last week of clues, misclues, speculation and sleuthing. Obviously, there is something bigger coming from Oglesby and crew, but let's offer some well-earned applause right now to a bit of ingenious viral marketing that not only left us scratching our heads over its source, but spawned a considerable amount of discussion regarding the "ex-gay" issue. I'd say that we owe some apologies to actor Todd Quillen, our first suspected Donnie Davies, but having not heard a peep from him or his agent, perhaps they are just digging the entire show too.

Bloggers Respond: Andrew Sullivan, Dan Savage, Pam Spaulding, Good As You, Page One Q, Seed Magazine, Big Ass Belle, Et Cetera, Box Turtle Bulletin, Before I Forget, Boy Culture, aTypical Joe, Newspeak!, Towleroad, Queerty, Raincoaster, Discarded Lies.

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Third Davies Video Out

I'm getting a bit tired of this drawn out drama. Here's Davies' third performance. He cries about being mocked for his weight again, "I can dunk a basketball!" Still, his acting continues to be flawless and the logo is damn funny. Check out the crane shot at the end. This ain't no cheap production.
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Worst.Sex.Ever.

February 14th I'll be performing in WYSIWYG's Worst.Sex.Ever. This will be the fourth annual installment of the Valentine's Day show in which the performers recount their all-time worst sexual experiences. Advance tickets are available here, this show always sells out. Um, if you happen to be a certain short Latino bodybuilder who lives on W.49th in Hell's Kitchen, you might wanna miss this show. I'm just sayin'.
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Map Quest

Grand Central Terminal, Food Court, 1:30 PM

An attractive young white guy and a stunning Asian girl are seated next to me. As I'm eating my lunch and scanning the Times, they converse animatedly in Japanese. As always, I am startled to hear an apparent Westerner speaking fluent Japanese, I don't know why I always notice that. They are in business attire, but their clothes are cut a little more on the art side of office drag, so I imagine that they may work for a Japanese media company.

Halfway through my meal, their conversation grows louder. First the girl gets rather excited, then the man responds, both slapping the table as they try to make their points. I wonder, "Is that a Japanese custom, the table slapping?" Their voices continue to rise and others are beginning to turn their heads to follow the argument. The two women seated across from me shake their heads and I hear one of them say, "Ooh, somebody's gon' be alone THIS weekend!"

After ten minutes or so of excited exchanges, the man gets so frustrated that he breaks out of Japanese and shouts in perfect Brooklynese, "Gawdamn it! Pennsylvania is NOT in da fuckin' tri-state area!"

OK, then.
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Another Triumph Of Science

The caffeinated doughnut. I'll have the venti jelly.
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Designer Urinals Make Splash

"Home urinals are becoming 'a definite must for luxury master suites.'” Make all the pee, flower, and gay jokes that you want. Who wants to go #1?
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Morning View - Alice Of Central Park

Does anybody else find Central Park's Alice In Wonderland statue kind of creepy? Like most park statuary, her nose has been rubbed bright by thousands of visitors, rendering her either as an allergy sufferer or a coke-head.

B.A.R. Blasts AHF Lawsuit

An editorial in today's Bay Area Reporter correctly blasts the AIDS Healthcare Foundation for its lawsuit against Pfizer, taking aim at AHF head Michael Weinstein and San Francisco "STD chief" Jeffrey Klausner.

Many gay AIDS activists have major issues with Klausner's repeated attempts to stigmatize gay men with leading irresponsible sex lives. And by extension, AHF and Klausner's position is patronizing to gay men by implying – incorrectly – that gay men who use Viagra somehow can't put on a condom.

What's most disturbing about AHF's lawsuit is the complete lack of hard data to support its contention. In fact, a recent review of published studies showed no convincing evidence to support Klausner's claims that use of Viagra leads to HIV infections.

"Health care providers should be reminded that individuals infected with HIV frequently have erectile dysfunction from their disease or from pharmacologic agents commonly used in its treatment," said Irwin Goldstein, editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine , which published findings of the review conference.

If AHF wants to secure funding from pharmaceutical companies, it should submit grant applications, and not resort to demeaning gay men with HIV/AIDS without rigorous scientific evidence to support its claims.

Right fucking on. For many men whose sex lives have been wrecked by the side-effects of HIV medications, not to mention the immense emotional burden that slams home everytime they try to put on a condom, Viagra has been a salvation, a wonder drug. For many, sex without Viagra (or its competitors) is impossible. And one can argue that for many, life without sex would be impossible. Demonizing a powerful quality-of-life drug in a misguided campaign to fight the crystal meth epidemic is flat out wrong.
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Stroke Out The Smoke

Hot on the heels of the entirely non-earthshattering news that gays smoke twice as much as straights, comes word of a new study that shows that patients who have had an injury to a certain area of the brain, the insula, were immediately freed of their smoking addiction. This finding presents great implications in the field of addictions studies. The story goes on to mention that insula injuries are also associated with social disfunction. Of course, some would say that smokers already are brain-damaged, so what's a little social disfunction in the name of clean lungs?
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Collectible Condoms! Better Than Pogs!

NYC will issue a series of free condoms in multi-colored foil packets featuring the logos of all 24 city subway lines. Condoms will be available in subway stations and are free to any business or organization that requests them from the Department of Health. No word yet if the 4-5-6 comes in XL.

Nope

Nope.

I'm completely overhauling JMG beginning tomorrow. From now on, it's nothing but shirtless twinks, adorable kittens, reality show recaps, scribbled-on C-list celeb photos, heterosexual sports stars, and memes, memes, memes. First up: "Which Roman emperor are you?" I'm fucking Caligula, bitch.

Set Phasers On "Popcorn"

The Pentagon has a new microwave "crowd control" device that is fired from a Humvee-based satellite dish. Those in the path of the beam feel as if they are about to burst into flames. With a range of 500 meters, the military claims that the device only penetrates human skin to a depth of 1/64 of an inch and cannot cause permanent harm. (Like the Tazer?) The government plans to use the device in military action to effect "non-lethal crowd control". Anybody taking bets on how long before this is used domestically?
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10.49.41.18

The above IP was attached to an email sent by Donnie Davies to JMG reader Big Ass Belle. It appears to resolve to Marina Del Rey, California. Davies claims to reside in Texas. Come on intarweb, the answer is out there in teh tubes.

UPDATE: A reader emails to say: "I know Todd Quillen, and I'm happy to say he's not Donnie Davies."

UPDATE II: Here's a video featuring Todd Guillen and his comedy troupe performing a series of mock Iraqi election attack ads. I can't really tell which one is Guillen.


UPDATE III: Good As You thinks they may have nailed Davies. I have NO idea at this point, but here's the pic.

Today's Lesson In Love

If you belong to a skydiver's club, do not ever have an affair with the boyfriend of a fellow skydiver. Just don't.

MS Words

Microsoft has been busted for offering to start paying a blogger to make edits to its Wikipedia entries. I am 300% certain that other companies have employees making sure that Wikipedia entries are tweaked to favor themselves, but you have to shake your head at Microsoft for going out-of-house on this. Microsoft has admitted that it violated the Wikipedia terms and conditions but claims that is HAD to correct those errors somehow. I'm shocked, shocked I tells ya. Next thing we'll be hearing about famous bloggers making edits on their own entries.
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Gay Sheep: The Final Word (Hopefully)

The New York Times has finally weighed in on the "gay sheep" controversy of several weeks ago, crediting anonymous biologist blogger (and JMG commenter) Empty Pockets as unmasking PETA's campaign to ruin the work and reputation of OHSU researcher Dr. Charles Roselli.

Martina Navrativola, however, stands by her allegiance with PETA, saying, "“The more we play God or try to improve on Mother Nature, the more damage we are doing with all kinds of experiments that either have already turned or will turn into nightmares. How in the world could straight or gay sheep help humanity?”

She just doesn't get it. To paraphrase a commenter here on JMG, "What can be known, will be known." What science does with the information is where we need to be vigilant. In the Times article, a professor from from the Center For Bioethics says it best: "This concern is best addressed by trying to change public perceptions of homosexuality rather than stop basic science on sexuality.”

Donnie Davies = Todd Quillen?

UPDATE: The "real" Davies exposed: HERE.

After an almost 48-hour run of speculation that has gripped the gay blogosphere, tenacious and smart JMG reader "Chrome" (a frequent commenter here), wrote to me early this morning with his conclusion that "Ex-gay" Pastor Donnie Davies is actually actor/musician/improv performer Todd Quillen. Quillen's personal site is here, his Yahoo photo album is here.

By cross-referencing the MySpace pages of Donnie Davies and his band Evening Service, Chrome began to find an interesting commonality among the friends of the "friends" of Davies and his band, namely an interest in film, television, acting, and most telling: improv. There appears to be a relationship to the improvisational acting group B.R.O.T.O.R.

What do you think, gentle readers? Has Chrome busted Donnie Davies? I believe he may have. If you believe otherwise and have proof, please email me.

UPDATE: Other bloggers wondering: Bob Mould, Dan Savage, Pam's House Blend, Queerty, Towleroad, Good As You, Blast Off.

UPDATE II: Still no further proof either way, but the chorus of "doesn't look like him" continues to grow louder. I called Quillen's agent in LA and asked for a callback, but haven't gotten one.

UPDATE III: An email sent to by Donnie Davies to JMG reader Big Ass Belle carries an IP (10.49.41.18) that resolves to Marina Del Rey, California. Donnie Davies claims to live in Texas.

UPDATE IV: Ignore Update III. I know bupkis about IP technology.
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Open Thread Thursday

This week's OTT is inspired by Donnie Davies. Complete the following sentence:

"That's as gay as........."

My favorite still has to be the southern classic: "That's as gay as Christmas!" I've also got a fond spot for "That's as gay as lunch with Liberace!"
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More From Donnie Davies

OK, this is driving me slightly mad. Davies' Mona Lisa smile in this latest video make me strongly suspect that he's been having a field day at the expense of the gay blogosphere. But as I've said from the start, satire or not, the entire production has been brilliant pro-gay PR. Today, I'm more leaning towards believing that Davies is the gay LonelyGirl15, but I'm still not sure. Again, brilliance, intentional or not.
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Homo Phobo Rehab? Puh-leeze!

I haven't said anything about the Isaiah Washington issue until now, because aside from the fact that he's an actor I'd never heard of, from a show I've never watched, it's just NOT that important a story in the grand scheme of gay activism. In a day when gays are subject to outright and open legalized discrimination, is it really worth devoting the time and money of major activist orgs to chase the potty-mouth of some C-list actor? I understand the need to make an example of Washington, that this is GLAAD's raison d'etre, but this has all seemed to be a bit much.

I am rather amused, nonetheless, that GLAAD has successfully chased Washington into REHAB. Yes, he's gone into homo-phobo-rehab. "Hi, my name's Isaiah and I hate cocksuckers." ALL: "Hi, Asaiah." This has got to rank as the #1 WTF of 2007, to date.

So, what DOES one learn in homo-phobo-rehab? Best responses go into tomorrow's post.
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HIV Vaccine Reseach Moving Slowly

The outlook for an effective HIV vaccine remains bleak, even as several large-scale trials are due to report their results in 2008. Merck, Aventis, and VaxGen are all underway with vaccine trials, but scientists are hoping only that the results reduce infections "a little", at least providing a springboard to future research. Highest hopes are pinned on the Merck study, which if even a tiny bit effective, will at least "validate the animal models".

UPDATE: An HIV vaccine researcher responds:

Joe, I'm part of an international group of scientists and community members (funded by the NIH) who are testing HIV vaccines with the goal of getting a safe, effective HIV vaccine into the world as quickly as possible. I don't think the field is as bleak as some think. The two leading vaccines, made by Merck and the NIH's Vaccine Research Center appear to be safe, well-tolerated (few side effects), and create strong immune responses in study volunteers. What we don't know yet is whether these vaccines will protect people, either by preventing infection or keeping them healthy even if they later become infected through sex and drug use.

If you want more information on these trials, you can go to stepstudies.org or to the HIV Vaccine Trials Network website. It's great that you are getting the word out that HIV vaccines are being tested and that there is NO HIV IN THE VACCINES, so they can't infect anyone. We need people to get involved to move this field forward as quickly as we can!

Susan Buchbinder

UPDATE II: An NYU / Merck vaccine administrator responds:

Joe, Great post and update on the HIV vaccine trials. For anyone who's interested, we're running the Merck vaccine trial at NYU and they're always looking for new people interested. The group is doing really interesting outreach including canvasing bathhouses. Anyone interested can give me a call at my office or go to our website site for more information: www.med.nyu.edu/oct. Carry on the good work, big guy.

Beau Gostomsky

JMG: Thanks very much to Susan and Beau!
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SOTU? STFU!

Last night Dubya was interrupted by applause 62 times. He was interrupted by the sounds of millions of eyes rolling 62 million times. But wasn't it great to see Nancy Pelosi sitting up there? Overall the speech was deadly dull and by the numbers. Introduce heroes from the audience: check. Usage of the word "terror" two dozen times: check. Mention Republican base-rousing issues like immigration and tax cuts: check. I could barely keep my eyes open. What did you think of the speech?
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Morning View - Central Park Hansom Cab

Quick Links

High-definition porn shows too much. (Via NY Times)

Gay Superbowl: Bears Vs. Colts. (Via Cup Of Joe)

The "Big Questions" of science, answered. (Via Wired)

A new Pee-Wee Herman movie? (Via SFGate)

Barack Obama's high school pics. Hello Jermaine! (via Gawker)
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Madanna To The Rescue

To wash the God Hates Fags video out of your brains, and in celebration of today's Oscar nomination for Jennifer Hudson, here's the internet's greatest lipsync artist, YouTube star Madanna, making his third JMG appearance with his take on Hudson's Dreamgirls showstopper. Somebody please get this kid his own show!

God Hates Fags: The Musical

I really hope YouTube Google MySpace keeps this video up, it's beautiful PR for gay activism. I mean, COME ON, take a swishy bear in a PINK shirt and have him sing about fighting homo temptation? It's GOLD, Jerry! And the line "To enter heaven, there's no backdoor"? Priceless. And check out the list of gay bands to stay away from. This guy's clearly been scoping my LastFM playlist. (HT - Queerty.)

UPDATE: Any bedroom DJs out there that want to do a dance remix of this, I will happily post their mix. Consider it a call to disco arms!
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AHF Ramps Up Attack On Pfizer

AIDS Healthcare Foundation sued Pfizer yesterday, saying that ads for Viagra are misleading and encourage the recreational use of the drug. This move by AHF follows up last month's anti-Pfizer ad campaign. The lawsuit seeks to force Pfizer to suspend its advertising for Viagra and to start a public information campaign on the dangers of using the drug. I continue to contend that while there is a definite connection between the explosion of crystal meth usage and the advent of Viagra, I can't see anything in the Pfizer advertising that encourages such a thing. That's not to say that Pfizer may not have a responsibility to address the situation.
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And I Am Telling You...

...there'll be no Oscar for Dreamgirls. But gay movie fans should be pleased by Jennifer Hudson's Best Supporting nom and Meryl Streep's 87th nomination for The Devil Wears Prada, (although I predict Judi Dench will walk away with Best Actress). Listen to me on this one, gentle readers. Last year I nearly predicted all the major categories correctly.
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HomoQuotable - Ted Haggard

"You know all the surveys say that evangelicals have the best sex life of any other group." - Ted Haggard, speaking in Alexandra Pelosi's new documentary, Children Of God. Pelosi (Nancy's daughter) followed Haggard around with her camera before the "gay hooker" scandal broke late last year.
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Mean Trick #27

Secretly programming a friend's V-chip to block all shows except those rated TV-Y is pretty funny. But doing that AND changing the remote's password? High-larry-us. Not that I would ever do something so mean.
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"Mine Is Only *This* Big..."

"...but my lover Georg here is hung like an Italian mule! I'm the luckiest bottom in Vatican City!"
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It Looks Nicer On TV Anyway

New York City taxis are about to be outfitted with a GPS-based video system that will play commercials for restaurants and stores as the taxi approaches that location. Passengers will have the option of turning the screens off, but I expect that most will sit slack-jawed and vacant-eyed, watching dreary Starbucks ads and robbing themselves of the quintessential New York experience, viewing this amazing city from the windows of a cab.

In other dreary Manhattan news, there's now a website that will sell you a reservation at New York's hottest restaurants. I wonder how long Per Se will be hot with the jet set, when any rube with cash can barrel his way into the corner booth? Also, how long before this site hooks up with the taxi TV people? Seems like a match made in heaven.
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Blue Monday

According to British scientists, today is the most depressing day of 2007. Researchers say that unpaid holiday bills, bad weather, and the realization that New Year's resolutions won't be lived up to, all combine to make today the unhappiest day of the year. (Thanks to Aaron for the link.)
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HomoQuotable - Rupert Everett

"The last thing I want to do as a gay man is clone straight society." - Rupert Everett, saying that he is uninterested in marriage. In an interview with 365Gay.com, he goes on to say, "Gay people aren’t like the Jews or the blacks. They’re not enough of a community, and I think they’re too self-hating to be a community." Everett's autobiography was published last week.
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But No Gareth Gates

This morning I dreamt that I was at a park in Orlando watching a softball game between Fred Phelps' family and a group of neo-Nazis, while two of Phelp's daughters stood on the sidelines performing Norman Greenbaum's Spirit In The Sky, dressed as the background singers from the Doctor & The Medics video.

I feel that this portends an interesting week ahead.

Gay Men's Health Crisis Fundraiser

REMINDER: A tribute party to the Paradise Garage's DJ Larry Levan will take place Sunday, January 21st at Pacha in Hell's Kitchen. The party benefits Gay Men's Health Crisis. Martha Wash will perform and the DJs include Danny Krivit of Body & Soul. Tickets are $35 , but only $15 if you still have your old Paradise Garage ID! Levan, who died of a heart ailment in 1992, spent ten years at the helm of NYC's Paradise Garage and was one of the most influential DJs of the house music era.
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Total Gay Overload

What could be gayer than a room full of drag queens watching Robbie Williams perform a song about Madonna? How about if the song was cowritten and produced by the Pet Shop Boys? How about if Robbie's in drag too? Result: Total. Gay. Overload.

Florida Calls Bluff

Of interest to those with homes or family in Florida, the Florida Senate has voted to ban insurance companies from "cherry picking" which coverage they will offer in the state. Some insurance companies have been retreating from offering home owner's insurance in Florida ever since Hurricane Andrew in 1992, but they continue to sell auto and life insurance. (My mother had to pay three separate deductibles in 2005 after her carrier ruled the three hurricanes that struck in six weeks as three separate events.)

Insurance companies have threatened to leave Florida entirely if they are forced to offer all the coverages they offer in other, less hurricane-prone states. Now that the state legislature has called their bluff, it will be interesting to see what happens. Obviously, this move has huge implications for those in Texas, Lousiania, etc. Florida Governor Charlie "Closet" Crist campaigned heavily on his promise to approve this legislation, about the only issue Miss Crist got right.
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The Hottest Fake Cabbie In NYC

I'm actually watching a game show regularly these days. Discovery Channel's Cash Cab is a neat concept: a NYC cabbie grills his passengers with trivia questions for cash prizes. But the real reason I'm drawn to Cash Cab is the superhunk host Ben Bailey. Sexy voiced Bailey is a 6'6" shaven-headed comedian who reminds me of Chris Meloni. And that ain't a bad thing.
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Now, About That War Thingy....

Nancy Pelosi's pledge to pass six critical bills in the new Congress' first 100 hours has been met in only 42 hours, 15 minutes.

- Recommendations of the 9/11 Commission enacted.

- National minimum wage raised to $7.15.

- Bush's restrictions on stem-cell research overturned.

- HHS required to negotiate Medicare prescription costs with drug manufacturers.

- Federal student loan interest rates cut in half.

- $145 billion in tax breaks to oil drillers rolled back.

Republicans in Congress mocked the 100 hour pledge as a publicity stunt, saying Democrats stopped the clock during mundane House business. Then they passed a resolution of their own. They wished Mohammed Ali a happy 65th birthday.
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Wifey's Revenge

Former NJ Governor Jim McGreevey's wife has a book coming out called The Silent Partner. Chapter 1: Rest Stops Of The Jersey Turnpike...
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Hot Photoblog: Atomische

Check out Atomische, the hot photo blog of Brooklyn photographer Tom Giebel, who adds a new gorgeous photo to his site everyday. There's tons of great NYC images there and some striking nature photography. Recommended!

Sing It!

In 1978 when I was budding 19 year old gay activist, one of my most treasured possessions was my copy of Tom Robinson Band's Power In The Darkness. That summer I had gone shopping for the album just to get the hit single 2-4-6-8 Motorway, which I'd seen at the top of UK charts. Back in those days, I often bought records unheard, based merely on their position on the British charts.

But scanning the back of the record in the store, I was thrilled to see a track called Glad To Be Gay, and hoping that the song wasn't some sarcastic punk anti-gay rant, I rushed the album home. Two minutes into my first playing of Glad To Be Gay, I was standing in front of my record player, weeping. Recorded live, the song was a blistering recounting of gay-bashing by British police and media.

Don't try to kid us that if you're discreet
You're perfectly safe as you walk down the street
You don't have to mince or make bitchy remarks
To get beaten unconscious and left in the dark

Yet after ticking off all that misery, Tom Robinson urges his audience to "Sing if you're glad to be gay!" Sing anyway. And they do. Later I found out that Robinson was a well-known gay activist who originally wrote the song for the 1976 London Pride rally. These days, Tom Robinson is largely retired from music, working as a broadcaster for BBC Radio 4. He raised the ire of gay activists in the 90's when he came out as bisexual, married a woman and had children. His last album was titled Having It Both Ways.

Today Glad To Be Gay is in the news again. Alan Johnson, the British Secretary of State for Education and Skills told BBC Radio 4 listeners yesterday that he would be happy if the song were included in a new songbook being published for schoolchildren. As you might imagine, this has caused a huge controversy. Johnson has been a stalwart supporter of gay rights in the UK and has a chance of becoming deputy leader of the Labour Party. Hats off to Mr. Johnson!

You can download many of Tom Robinson's tracks, free, on his personal website. I recommend his great love song War Baby (which was especially meaningful to me in 1984), and his cover of Steely Dan's Rikki Don't Lose That Number.

Tom Robinson Band
Glad To Be Gay
Razor & Tie Records 1978
#18 UK Pop
Purchase / Download

UPDATE: Tom Robinson responds:

Hey Joe

Thanks for your kind and appreciative words, they mean a lot. And Robin, I'll track down the Secret Policeman's Ball version and get it YouTubed ASAP. But there is now a decent version there of the "Elton's Song" video - which depicts a story of unrequited gay love and for which I wrote the lyric. Have made a page with links to the YouTube version (and a higher-res Quicktime file) at http://eltonsong.com/

With all good wishes from London

Tom Robinson

The Time Is Now 11:55

Yesterday the hands of the Doomsday Clock were moved two minutes closer to midnight. The Bulletin of the Atomic Scientists cited global warming and the nuclear ambitions of North Korea and Iran as the reasons for the change. The time on the clock has been changed 17 times since its creation in 1947.

Iraq War Cost Put In Perspective

Embiggen the chart to see the outrageous cost. Universal healthcare? Unaffordable! Thousands of lives to enrich Haliburton? Affordable! (via New York Times)

Canadian Marriage Stats

Some interesting marriage stats came out of Canada today. British Columbia, which apparently tracks these things more than the rest of Canada, reported:

-Those entering into same-sex marriage were an average of 13 years older than hets getting married. The average age for gay men getting married was 44, for lesbians it was 42.

-As we've seen in Massachusetts, lesbians outmarried gay men, although not by such lopsided numbers. Of 774 same-sex marriages, 422 were lesbian, 352 were gay men. Only 3.5% of all marriages were same-sex, versus 5.5% for Massachusetts (in 2005).

-Over half of gay marriages involved non-Canadians, but only 5% of hetero marriages involved those that live outside of Canada, which suggests that BC has a thriving gay wedding industry that draws heavily from the U.S. west coast.

It still surprises me that younger gay people are not running headlong into marriage. All along, I've feared that we'd see an unfortunate rash of giddy boys in love getting married, but I'm glad that's not happening.

Open Thread Thursday

What are you reading?
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Back On The Chain Gang

According to Sunday's New York Times there are now over 200 Starbucks in NYC. There are 220 Duane Reade drugstores and soon to be over 200 Rite-Aid stores. There's more than 100 each of Payless Shoes and Gap. In Manhattan alone, there are two Home Depots and two K-Marts. It's true, New York City is a shopper's paradise! There's a 7-11 in Times Square!

The powers that be
That force us to live like we do
Bring me to my knees
When I see what they've done to you

Haloscan Malfunction

The comments tally has not been updating since last night, so new posts will appear to have zero comments. Hopefully Haloscan will have this issue resolved soon. The "recent comments" widget in the left column is working correctly.

The War With Iran Is Coming

The war with Iran is coming. Bush is taunting Iran. Russia announced yesterday that they have sold air-defense missles to Iran. The new war is coming and the Democrats know it. What country are we living in? How is this happening? The president is insane and needs to be removed.

Morning View - Gapstow Bridge, Central Park

Diana Ross Loves You

"Yes, I've heard a lot about it. I'm going to see it with my lawyers." - Diana Ross, joking on last night's CBS Late Show, when David Letterman asked her if she wasn't curious about Dreamgirls. Ross said that she'd been too busy to see the movie and had never seen the musical, but was otherwise gracious about Beyonce' Knowles. She also mentioned that she will appear on this season's American Idol.

Ross then performed a rather limp cover version of Spiral Starecase's 1969 hit, More Today Than Yesterday, which is on her latest release. Her new album, I Love You, was released months ago in the UK but just launched in the U.S. yesterday. The album is all covers, save the title track, and includes her take on Heatwave's quiet storm classic, Always And Forever. Here's a ten-minute promo for the "new release" that was posted on YouTube back in September.

Maloney Lands On His Feet

Failed New York State Attorney General candidate Sean Patrick Maloney has been appointed by Governor Elliot Spitzer to be his Deputy Secretary. Maloney will work with Spitzer on policy priorities, presumably including Spitzer's campaign vow to approve gay marriage. This appointment may help lay the groundwork for Maloney one day becoming NY's first openly gay governor, unless Christine Quinn gets there before him.

Joe - 1, Bitch - 0

This morning a woman brazenly cut into the front of a long checkout line at the place where I pick up breakfast, bullying the cashier into waiting on her. Speaking for the rest of the customers, I told her that her manners were "as brittle as her fried dye-job". Don't you love it when you don't walk away thinking, "Ooh, I shoulda said...."? Still, I suppose I should feel guilty.

Last FM

Always slow to jump on these social networking trends, I finally joined LastFM in December. LastFM is an service that tracks what its users are playing on their iTunes player, creating individual webpages for each user, allowing members to see each other's playlists. For those interested, here's my LastFM page and a listing of the last several hundred songs I listened to. It's kinda hilarious that my top ranked track is Disco Santa Claus, that's what I get for torturing a house guest with it. Anyway, any of y'all that use LastFM, g'head and friend me. I need to find some new tunes and I want to see what you are listening to.

The Happy Hooker

Last night I had a drink with Mike Jones, your 2006 choice as Queer Of The Year. Jones is in New York City to meet with the publisher of his coming tell-all book, and to appear as the guest of the Gay & Lesbian Task Force at their cocktail reception tonight.

Mike was charming, a gentle muscleman with arms so huge (sorry folks, I had no camera) that ten minutes into our conversation, another patron at the pub interupted our conversation to say, "Oh, man! That how I wanna get, like that!", jabbing his fingers into Mike's biceps. Mike just smiled and shook the guy's hand and thanked him, and the man drifted away.

I asked Mike if he planned on staying in Denver, with his high visibility as America's most famous hooker (not to mention the death threats!), and he just shrugged, saying, "Hey, I'm fourth-generation there. I'm not going anywhere, for now." Mike thanked me and readers of JMG profusely, referring to our Paypal project, telling me, "You guys saved my life, you really did. It meant so very much to me, I want you all to know that."

Mike Jones seems to be naturally happy, an almost soft-spoken guy who interupts his own stories to laugh at himself. I asked him why he kept his notorious AOL email address (massageandmuscle@aol.com) after the scandal broke, and he said, "You know what? I just said to myself, 'Fuck that and fuck THEM!'. I kept my email and I kept my phone number, death threats and all." And then he laughed again.

This weekend, Mike had dinner with Steve Schalchlin and Jim Brochu, after attending their hit musical The Big Voice: God Or Merman. Steve wrote a great piece about their meeting on his blog, and included a video clip of Mike at dinner. Check it out. It's encouraging (if overdue), that a major gay organization like the Gay & Lesbian Task Force is honoring Mike Jones tonight. Finally!

UPDATE: A Denver Post article about Mike Jones appears today, and it includes a mention of JMG.

HomoQuotable - Christine Quinn

"I think that the New York City electorate will always elect the person they feel most connected to and the person they think is most competent and effective." - Christine Quinn, the openly gay Speaker of the New York City council, when asked if NYC is ready for a gay mayor. Quinn is high on the short list of probable candidates for the 2009 mayoral race.

I wasn't crazy about Quinn's plan to require NYC nightclubs to record the IDs of all their patrons, but by all accounts she has been quite effective as Speaker. David Cicilline, the mayor of nearby Providence, Rhode Island is openly gay, but I don't know if the millions of residents of Brooklyn and Queens, many of whom are from socially conservative countries, would vote for a lesbian mayor. Still, gay mayors are the rage in Europe, and New Yorkers are nothing if not trendy.

Related:
Bertand Delanoë is the openly gay mayor of Paris.
Klaus Wowereit is the openly gay mayor of Berlin.

The Good Foot Was Gotten Upon

I'll be in recovery from last night's Body & Soul party for the rest of the week. After a couple of warm-up Manhattans at the Farmboyz' Upper West Side pied-a-terre, the seven of us cabbed down to Pacha in Hell's Kitchen to find the Will Call ticket line snaking down 46th Street. Thirty minutes outside, another 30 in the coat check line, and we finally hit the mobbed dance floor around 8PM, just in time for a mammoth James Brown tribute set. We got up offa that thing, we were sex machines, we were black, we were proud.

It was a very happy, very smiley crowd, with all the usual Body & Soul contingents in the house: Harlem ball queens, Japanese tourist-hipsters, bears, and Brits. Lots and lots of Brits. I met a few JMG readers on the dance floor, including a cute little bear wearing a Jewcy shirt and a handsome couple that told me they had met at one of my readings! How cool is that? The musical highlight of the night was Archie Bell & The Drell's 1968 anthem Tighten Up, quite logically played at the end of the James Brown set and resulting in me getting my freak on so wildly, that today my freak is quite sore. It's a price I gladly pay.

Tighten Up - Archie Bell & The Drells
Atlantic Records 1968.
#1 Pop, #1 R&B, #1 UK.
Download 3:14.

Below: The 2007 Body & Soul Dancers.
UPDATE: Dr. Jeff's account of the party, with pics.

Stop Lying, Condi

Above: Condi Rice advising Congress on Bush's "troop surge".

Ain't No (Brokeback) Mountain High Enough

During his opening monologue on last night's SNL, Jake Gyllenhaal nicely skewered his rabid gay following, saying he wanted to send them a "special thank-you." Then he put on a black bouffant wig, ripped away his suit to reveal a full-length sequined gown and launched into a pretty damn good version of Dreamgirl's And I Am Telling You. I bet a certain NYC-based news blogger was just wetting himself in delight. Still no sign of the clip on the web, or I'd point y'all to it.

UPDATE: Here's the clip! Be advised, it might have a short life on YouTube Google.

What I Learned Last Night

If you stick a fork into an electrical socket, you get a bit of a buzz. Wasn't expecting that.

Body & Soul Reunion Party

I've wrangled a large portion of my posse to attend tomorrow's Body & Soul party at Pacha. I've only been to two Body & Soul parties: the final event and 2004's Reunion Party. Both were just tear-the-roof-off-the-sucker out of this world. I'm hoping for more of the same. Aaron tells me the last reunion party drew 6500 crazies. We plan on arriving at 7pm, just in case.

Rosie O'Donald

I like Rosie O'Donnell. Despite the Tom Cruise nonsense, despite the "ching-chong" controversy, I think she is one ballsy bitch dyke. And this recent hilarity that the tabs are calling "Rosie O'Donald" just reinforces my admiration. But America doesn't feel the same, apparently. According to today's Editor & Publisher, Gallup polls show that Rosie has a 63% unfavorable rating from the general public, worse than Trump's 48%. And isn't it wonderful how Gallup has its finger on the pulse of the really important issues?

What I Learned Last Night

If you've never had a cigarette, the first one gets you kinda high. Wasn't expecting that.

Esposo Y Esposo

A northern Mexican state approved gay unions yesterday. Coahuila, population 2.3 million, borders Texas and hosts hundreds of maquiladoras, factories set up by U.S. companies to exploit the cheap local labor pool. Crazy. It's just about the last place in this hemisphere that I'd expect to approve gay unions. Today Coahuila, tomorrow Oaxaca!

Morning View - Miss Lee

Yesterday's open thread made me snap this pic of Miss Lee's establishment on East 60th Street near Bloomingdales. Somebody told me yesterday that visiting a psychic was just as satisfying and therapeutic as seeing a professional therapist. I'd buy that. Hey, are there any psychic therapists? "I predict that it's all your mother's fault."

FTL V. NYC

Yesterday I got an email from a friend who recently left NYC for Fort Lauderdale:

Hopefully by the time Spring rolls around, I’ll be back in NYC full-time. I don’t know how you handled living down here. I am BORED OUT OF MY MIND. The only thing saving my sanity is that I have some decent friends down here. I can understand why there are so many crystal freaks in FTL – there’s nothing else to do! BORED. BEYOND. BELIEF.

It's a common complaint from New Yorkers, who seem to constitute the largest group of new Lauderdalians. People who move to Fort Lauderdale from less manic places are more wowed by the beautiful beaches and jumping bar scene, and less worn down by the endless strip malls and eternal traffic gridlock.

There's a puff piece in today's BAR, a tourist board generated (I'm guessing) story that gushes that Hurricane Wilma was a good thing for Fort Lauderdale's gay guesthouses, because "the reconstruction that followed made them better than ever." (Emphasis mine.) Wow, maybe we can hope for a tsunami and get some really great new places out of the deal!

I don't recall being bored when I lived in Fort Lauderdale, but then, I'd yet to live in San Francisco and New York. I'd be interested in hearing from New Yorkers who have moved to Fort Lauderdale and regretted it. So far, the traffic seems to remain southbound.

Last Day For Noms Closed

Four Years Of Opinion On The War

Red: Bush Approval Rating
Blue: War Worth It.
Green: Did Right Thing/Not A Mistake.
(via - Andrew Sullivan)

Over on The National Review, John Derbyshire nicely sums up the bizarre logic Bush handed us last night:

—-We can't leave Iraq without a victory.
—-Unless Maliki & Co. get their act together, we can't achieve victory.
—-If Maliki & Co. don't get their act together, we'll leave.

Sigh. It's truly a pity that the Democratic take-over of Congress has pretty much killed the impeachment movement.

Morning View - Pigeon Predator

I found this giant Red-Tailed Hawk enjoying a pigeon in Central Park. A nearby photographer mentioned that this particular hawk is the son of the famous Pale Male, the hawk that lives on Mary Tyler Moore's balcony and has created so much controversy. I say we import another couple of thousand hawks. Kill all dem pigeons! Kill 'em now!

Related: Pale Male, The Movie. Not kidding.

UPDATE: It was requested that I repost my anti-pigeon limerick:

Pigeons, dey's just feathered rats
Dey's make more noise than fucking cats
Me and neighbors, in cahoots
Stomp them with our steely boots
Make dey's little heads go splats

Open Thread Thursday

How's your love life?
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Yvonne de Carlo, 84

Farewell to Lily Munster, my favorite sitcom mom.

1. "Oh, Marilyn... the circles under your eyes. How lovely you look today."

2. "Eddie! You better start dawdling, or you're going to be on time for school!"

3. "Have you done everything? Have you put away your toys and brushed your fangs?"