The $20 Cardboard Bike

Very cool, should it ever become available.

The Popinator

"The one thing that never changes is how people get it in their mouths." This is an invention by Popcorn Indiana.

(Tipped by JMG reader Blair)

Oral Sex Taste-Masking Strips

Product description:

Masque is similar to Listerine® strips in that they are both dissolvable oral strips. The similarities end there. Masque actively conceals the salty, bitter, and protein flavors associated with pleasuring your man. We’ve found that a vast majority of our customers love or like the Masque flavors. As with anything (chocolate cake vs. vanilla ice cream), some people like certain flavors better than others. Masque is currently available in Mango, Strawberry, Watermelon and Chocolate. Each has a hint of mint which is intended to prevent tasting that occurs in your nasal passages.

Three strips sell for $9.99. (Tipped by JMG reader Adrienne)

Open This Condom With One Hand

Because your other hand is busy.

Print Your Own Assault Rifle

An inevitable development for 3D printers.

Get ready. It's now possible to print weapons at home. An amateur gunsmith, operating under the handle of "HaveBlue" (incidentally, "Have Blue" is the codename that was used for the prototype stealth fighter that became the Lockheed F-117), announced recently in online forums that he had successfully printed a serviceable .22 caliber pistol. Despite predictions of disaster, the pistol worked. It successfully fired 200 rounds in testing. HaveBlue then decided to push the limits of what was possible and use his printer to make an AR-15 rifle. To do this, he downloaded plans for an AR-15 in the Solidworks file format from a site called CNCGunsmith.com. After some small modifications to the design, he fed about $30 of ABS plastic feedstock into his late-model Stratasys printer. The result was a functional AR-15 rifle.

Commenters in the above-linked PopSci article are arguing whether the rifle's creator could have possibly created all of the necessary working parts. Still, so much for gun control? (The story was tweeted out today by openly gay Rep. Jared Polis.)

Is That Your Tattoo Ringing? Or Mine?

Nokia has patented a funky tattoo ink that will vibrate to alert you of incoming calls on your cell phone, which presumably must be nearby.

The tattoo would be made of ferromagnetic ink and would be able to detect a magnetic field generated by your phone in order to "transfer a perceivable stimulus to the skin," according to the U.S. patent filing, which was first brought to light by the Unwired View news site. Just as you can assign different ringtones to different contacts in your address book, this device can vibrate differently based on who's calling, or whether you're getting a text, email or news alert, according to the documents. It can even warn you when your phone’s battery is about to die.

If you don't want to commit to permanent ink, the tattoo also comes as a stick-on.

Portable Airbag

This is an actual thing for bicyclists.

The airbag is shaped like a hood that surrounds your head. It's made in an ultra-strong nylon fabric that won't rip when scraped against asphalt. The way the hood is designed and folded into the collar ensures that it will inflate quickly and safely. It takes about 0.1 seconds to inflate and the airbag will be fully inflated before head impact. Hövding protects nearly all of the head while leaving the field of vision open. The airbag provides soft and effective shock absorption and maintains constant pressure for several seconds, making it able to withstand several impacts to the head in the same accident.

Before it inflates, it looks rather like a neck brace.

Ostrich Pillow Thingy

For napping at the office. And suffocating, apparently.

OSTRICH offers a micro environment in which to take a warm and comfortable power nap at ease. It is neither a pillow nor a cushion, nor a bed, nor a garment, but a bit of each at the same time. Its soothing cave-like interior shelters and isolates our head and hands (mind, senses and body) for a few minutes, without needing to leave our desk.

Inspired By The Hefty Cinch-Sak

No, seriously, that was the inspiration. For the quickly-wilting man, one presumes.

The Shaving Helmet

TV Hat

It's a real thing. I guess, maybe, on a plane, it might be workable. Not entirely sure about the guy on the bike.

Vagina Dentata

A South African doctor has invented a female condom barbed with sharp teeth. The device is meant to be worn by women as a rape deterrent.

According to Human Rights Watch, South Africa has one of the highest rape rates in the world, and many women in the country live in constant fear of being attacked. One South African doctor, Sonnet Ehlers, is saying enough is enough — she sold her house and car to finance and invent a female condom laced with sharp tooth-like hooks that clamp onto an attacker’s penis upon penetration. The design is controversial, with many saying that the device is a “medieval” solution, but Ehlers believes it’s a way to make rapists think twice about the crime they’re about to commit. Called Rape-aXe, the female condom is inserted by a woman much like a tampon. Of the effects of the condom on an attacker, Ehlers explained, “It hurts, he cannot pee and walk when it’s on. If he tries to remove it, it will clasp even tighter… however, it doesn’t break the skin, and there’s no danger of fluid exposure.” Further more, only a doctor can remove Rape-aXe once it’s lodged on, meaning that hopefully, police can be on standby to make an arrest when the injured assailant look for medical help.

Critics say that the Rape-aXe may cause even more violence by a woman's attacker.

Personal Mobility

Motorized gyroscopically balanced unicycles. For when the Segway isn't dorky enough.

(Tipped by JMG reader Merv)

Door Locks For Drunks

Or for people like me, who can't see the keyhole without his glasses.

Invention Of The Year

Yup, we all should have thought of this.

For When The Spork Is Not Enough

File under: cubicle life. Biodegradable cutlery pen-caps. I don't know, I'd probably lose them immediately. I guess this is for you greenies who don't want to use disposable plastic. But since the average delivered lunch in midtown seems to be a tray in a box in a paper bag in a plastic bag, you know you're still killing the world, right?

(Tipped by Kitchenbeard)