Sarah Palin At The GOP Clown Car Revue

Those of you who suffered through yesterday's all-day GOP 2016 clown car revue in Iowa were rewarded near the end when Sarah Palin took the stage to Taylor Swift's Shake It Off and launched into a rambling 35-minute word salad that seemed to have been randomly assembled from teabagger fridge magnets. Half of Palin's speech was devoted to her The Internet Is Mean To Me theme. Woven into those disconnected complaints were familiar Tea Party attack lines: Benghazi, Obama eats dogs, Hillary wears pantsuits, liberals hate the military, etc. Watch in wonder below.

Sarah Palin: Merry Christmas And Buy My Book Of Holiday Word Salad

Her chili is "really, really, really, really" good.

(Tipped by JMG reader Richard)

Crazy Eyes Bids Farewell To Congress

Via Wonkette:

Michele Bachmann gave her farewell address to the House of Representatives Tuesday, and while we were worried that she might just stand up and announce that all her email should be forwarded to Shelly@CrazyEyes.com, she actually did deliver a thoroughly Bachmannian speech. It hits all the required notes: Freedom, In God We Trust, Why the House is the Best House, plus several extra helpings of God stuff just to be sure. We learn that, while the House chamber is ringed with silhouettes of great lawgivers, there’s only one figure who is shown in a full-face view: Moses, because he handed down the bestest laws that ever lawed, the Ten Commandments. And yes, they are absolutely the foundation for the entire system of American law, which is why not a single one of the proscriptions in the Commandments is actually in the Constitution.

Now she's got the time to help Ladybird with his "ex-gay" torture clinic. Until she gets a gig at Fox News.

Sarah Palin's Batshit Crazy Word Salad At CPAC: Dr. Seuss, Big Gulps, And Fritos

UPDATE: I meant to mention that moose hunter Sarah Palin's exit music tonight was Titanium, a global EDM smash sung by Sia Furler, an openly bisexual, liberal, vegan, animal rights activist who has appeared in ads for PETA. Furler used to date JD Samson, a member of the lesbian/feminist/electroclash band Le Tigre, and once expressed her desire to gay-marry Samson. Perhaps worst of all, she's a foreigner. I'm sure Palin's handlers didn't know that. You betcha!