Bachmann: Christians Should Rejoice Because Jesus Christ Will Be Here Any Minute Thanks To Barack Obama

Michelle Bachmann: Obama Has Brought The World Into The End Times

Crazy Eyes: Obama = Germanwings Pilot

"With his Iran deal, Barack Obama is for the 300 million souls of the United States what Andreas Lubitz was for the 150 souls on the German Wings flight - a deranged pilot flying his entire nation into the rocks. After the fact, among the smoldering remains of American cities, the shocked survivors will ask, why did he do it?" - Crazy Eyes, posting to her Facebook page.

Crazy Eyes Films Sharknado 3 Scene

Also in the movie is Ann Coulter, who is playing the vice president of the United States. (Tipped by JMG reader Blair)

Today On World Net Daily

Via World Net Daily:

Rep. Michele Bachmann, R-Minn., has been a prolific conservative legislator despite strong resistance from establishment Republicans, including leaders of her own party, and despite the considerable challenge of passing legislation without cooperation from an obstructionist Senate controlled by Democrats. And, despite an outgoing personality and political boldness demonstrated by her willingness to go in front of the cameras to champion the causes in which she believed, over the years WND has found Bachmann to be a genuinely humble and modest public servant who has shied from public praise and honors. That was evidenced when, informed she had been awarded WND’s “2014 Lawmaker of the Year,” Bachmann simply replied, “What an honor!” The firebrand from the snowy state is retiring from Congress, but has been a reliably conservative voice in Congress over her eight-year tenure, most recently ranked by the Heritage Foundation as having the 42nd most-conservative voting record among 535 lawmakers, the 435 members of the House of Representatives and 100 senators.

During her final term the Lawmaker Of The Year introduced 15 bills. All of them failed except one. And the people of Cold Spring, Minnesota are very proud of their renamed post office.

Thanks, Crazy Eyes!

Remember when Crazy Eyes vowed that we'd see $2 gas once she became president? This weekend wingnut sites are falling over each other to congratulate her. High gas prices? Obama's fault! Low gas prices? Thanks, Crazy Eyes! The headlines below are from World Net Daily, Twitchy, and Newsbusters.

Crazy Eyes: I Outsmarted The Left

Crazy Eyes To Obama: Bomb Iran

"I turned to the president and I said, something to the effect of, ‘Mr. President, you need to bomb the Iranian nuclear facilities, because if you don’t, Iran will have a nuclear weapon on your watch and the course of world history will change.' And he got his condescending smile on his face and laughed at me and said, 'Well Michele, it’s just not that easy.' And I said to him, 'No, Mr. President, you’re the president, it will happen on your watch, and you’ll have to answer to the world for this.' And that was it and then I left. Merry Christmas." - Soon to be former Rep. Michele Bachmann, speaking to the president at the White House holiday party.

HomoQuotable - Dan Savage

"Look at Marcus Bachmann, Michele Bachmann’s husband. Anybody who has gaydar—anybody who has eyes—looks at him and sees a tormented closet case who has externalized his internal conflict and is abusing other people, doing his reparative-therapy bullshit. It’s so sad and pathetic. A lot of the self-destructive behaviors gay people are prone to drifting into are directed inward, and then you have these shitbags like Marcus Bachmann for whom it’s all directed outward. Marcus Bachmann is the photo negative of the guy on the last bar stool in the gay bar, drinking and smoking himself to death, except instead of destroying himself, he’s destroying other vulnerable queer people in an effort to destroy the queer inside himself." - Dan Savage, speaking to Playboy. Hit the link and read the full piece - I could have pulled at least a dozen other quotes for this post.

Former "Ex-Gay" Client Of Ladybird Bachmann: I'm Still Totally Gay

Via Religion News Service:

Christian Schizzel spent 7 years being trotted around the country on media outlets as a poster boy for the ex-gay movement. Now, after reclaiming his gay identity, Christian says he won’t be a weapon anymore. In an exclusive interview with RNS, Christian tells about his experience with the Janet Boynes Ministries and The Bachmann & Associates counseling centers, the latter operation owned by U.S. Rep. Michelle Bachmann and husband Marcus Bachmann. Both entities were associated with the now closed Exodus International but are currently still in business. At nine years of age, Christian was sexually and physically abused by his step father — a missionary who used Bible verses to silence Christian into submission. He even used scripture during the acts itself to justify the abuse. Years later at the age of 18, after coming out to friends and family, Christian was encouraged to seek help at the ministry. It was there that they used this horrific experience to pinpoint the “cause” of Christian’s sexuality, although Christian said he knew about his sexuality before the abuse.

Shizzel: "Coming out publicly and sharing is important to me because my sexuality has been exploited my whole life by the Christian community." Hit the link to read the interview.

Crazy Eyes Bids Farewell To Congress

Via Wonkette:

Michele Bachmann gave her farewell address to the House of Representatives Tuesday, and while we were worried that she might just stand up and announce that all her email should be forwarded to Shelly@CrazyEyes.com, she actually did deliver a thoroughly Bachmannian speech. It hits all the required notes: Freedom, In God We Trust, Why the House is the Best House, plus several extra helpings of God stuff just to be sure. We learn that, while the House chamber is ringed with silhouettes of great lawgivers, there’s only one figure who is shown in a full-face view: Moses, because he handed down the bestest laws that ever lawed, the Ten Commandments. And yes, they are absolutely the foundation for the entire system of American law, which is why not a single one of the proscriptions in the Commandments is actually in the Constitution.

Now she's got the time to help Ladybird with his "ex-gay" torture clinic. Until she gets a gig at Fox News.

Crazy Eyes Suffers Final Hilarious Fail

Via Mother Jones:

What happened to her big protest? Bachmann's office did not respond to a request for comment. A TPP spokesman said in an email that the "gathering in Washington is not a Tea Party Patriots event per se, but we are fully in favor of it and have encouraged our supporters in the area to come out if they can." The lackluster response to Bachmann's high-noon call is a far cry from five years ago, when the congresswoman made a similar appeal on Fox for a protest against Obamacare. She asked for tea partiers to hit Capitol Hill and tell legislators "don't you dare take away my health care." And the fledgling tea party movement responded enthusiastically. The Koch-backed Americans for Prosperity dispatched dozens buses full of activists—29 just from New Jersey. FreedomWorks, then headed by former House majority leader Dick Armey, organized more. Glenn Beck promoted the event. Thousands of people showed up, as did the entire GOP House leadership. The momentum generated from that rally helped the GOP in the 2010 midterm elections. Bachmann, after a failed run for the White House, is spending her last days on the Hill writing listicles for BuzzFeed. And even before her final day as a congresswoman, Bachmann, with this non-rally, seems a has-been.

Here's Bachmann's big call for a massive protest, which aired on Fox News on November 20th.

Crazy Eyes Raps Thrift Shop

Rep. Michele Bachmann has posted a Buzzfeed list titled "16 Things I'll Miss About Being In Congress." Fourth on her list is "Speech Prep With My Staff." For some reason, speech prep includes rapping a snippet from Macklemore's Thrift Shop, last year's top selling US single. It boggles the mind that Bachmann enjoys the music of one the nation's most passionately gay-friendly acts while her husband runs "ex-gay" torture clinics.

Bachmann To Stage Anti-Immigration Rally On Steps On Capitol Building

Michele Bachmann is calling on Fox News viewers to join her for an anti-immigration rally on the steps of the Capitol Building.

Bachmann, appearing Thursday on Fox News Channel's "Hannity," called for citizens to got to Washington, D.C. on Wednesday, December 3 at "high noon" on the west steps of the Capitol. "We need to have a rally, and we need to go visit our senators and visit our congressmen, because nothing frightens a congressman like the whites of his constituents' eyes," Bachmann said. "We need to say, you're not going to do this with our Constitution." Bachmann says she wants Congress to defund Obama's executive action legalizing up to 5 million illegal immigrants.

Michele Bachmann: Obama Wants To Turn Illiterate Immigrants Into Democrats

"The social cost will be profound on the U.S. taxpayer - millions of unskilled, illiterate, foreign nationals coming into the United States who can’t speak the English language. Even though the president says they won’t be able to vote, we all know that many, in all likelihood, will vote. The president has a very single-minded vision. He’s looking at new voters for 2016. People do vote without being a citizen. It’s a wink and a nod, we all know it’s going to happen." - Michele Bachmann, adding to reporters that she knows these immigrants are illiterate because she's been told that by "American Hispanics" who live "at the border."

MINNESOTA: Ladybird Bachmann Defends His Vile "Ex-Gay" Torture Clinics

Crazy Eyes: Obama Wants To Flood Nation With Democrats Via Immigration

Human Rights Campaign Inducts 19 Members Of Congress Into Hall Of Shame

The Human Rights Campaign today announced the induction of 19 member of Congress into its Hall Of Shame for anti-LGBT actions.

“If you want to understand why LGBT equality has hit a roadblock in Congress, you don't need to look any further than these leaders of anti-LGBT obstruction and animus,” said David Stacy, HRC’s Government Affairs Director. “These members go out of their way to oppose any step toward equal protection under the law or to protect LGBT Americans from violence, discrimination and harassment. They proactively work to undermine existing legal protections and promote anti-LGBT discrimination.”

Released in advance of the HRC Scorecard for the 113th Congress, HRC identified these elected officials as the most anti-equality members of Congress by looking at their voting records in this and previous Congresses, their introduction and co-sponsorships of anti-LGBT legislation, and their public statements. While there are other anti-LGBT members of Congress, these elected officials’ legislative actions, votes and anti-LGBT vitriol unfortunately marks them with a modern day scarlet letter.

The only Democrat on the list, Rep. Mike McIntrye, has signed Rep. Randy Weber's laughably doomed bill that would limit the federal government to only recognizing same-sex marriages that are legally conducted in the state where the married couple resides. McIntrye is retiring after the current term.

Tweet Of The Day - Crazy Eyes

(Tipped by JMG reader Lynda)

Bachmann Walks Back Marriage Comment

During the FRC's hate summit, soon-to-be former Rep. Michele Bachmann told Michelangelo Signorile that gay marriage is no longer an issue, adding, "In fact, it's boring." After being called out by fellow wingnuts like Bryan Fischer, Crazy Eyes is walking back that comment. Via World Net Daily:

“What I said is that this won’t be the issue that drives the 2014 election,” Bachmann said. “I told the reporter it’s getting boring having them only press this issue with Republicans while ignoring Democrats. “The media loves to divide us on this issue. They look for something all the time,” Bachmann told WND. “I said nothing different. I’m the woman who carried the traditional marriage amendment in Minnesota, and I stand firm in my belief that marriage should be between one man and one woman.” Bachmann’s aide told WND she wasn’t brushing off the radio host, she was merely making a quick, parting comment as she was leaving. Though the topic of marriage has been a hot-button issue in the last few elections, several states have begun issuing same-sex marriage licenses, and candidates for 2014 have had less to say on the matter.

"Several states." Heh.